Original Air Date: April 6, 2008
NOTE: This series and recap contain mature themes and language.
DAHLIA walks into a Louisiana police station and tells a cop named DEVEREAUX (Guest Star Ntare Mwine) that she just got out of jail three months ago and violated her parole in Alabama when she left the state without checking in with her parole officer. She then launches into a farfetched story about searching for her husband, who allegedly left with her children, but the cop sees right through it.
Claiming that he’s sick of people disrespecting him by lying right to his face, the cop calls over a uniformed officer to arrest Dahlia, who panics and starts pleading that she wants to stop lying. The cop then gives her 24 hours to find a job and a place to live. If she can prove she has and stays on the right path for thirty days, he’ll consider taking over her file. Otherwise, he’ll put out a warrant for her arrest and hand her picture over to every cop in the state to hunt her down like a dog.
The next morning, Dahlia tries to tell WAYNE what she did because of her anxiety about her parole situation. He’s not listening, however, because he’s too wrapped up in the Bayou Hills deal. He stayed up all night memorizing details, and now it’s time to go to the office and make the $150 million Hugh secured on the golf course real.
After a security guard arrives to have CAEL put out the bonfire he’s started in front of his tent outside — he refuses to live in the house because it’s supposedly stealing their souls — Wayne and Dahlia head their separate ways.
Dahlia applies for a job at a coffee shop, but the dude checking her application balks when he gets to her admission that she’s a convicted felon who’s done time. Despite her statements that she’s not a criminal anymore, the dude maintains that his boss has a bug up his ass about the possibility hired felons might relapse near the cash register. Unsurprisingly, Dahlia gets pissed and says she doesn’t want to work there anymore anyway because their macchiatos have too much foam. Good reason!
At Panco, HUGH arrives psyched to get the Bayou Hills deal rolling and the millions of dollars in his pocket. Wayne’s done his due diligence, however, and he’s worried about a Russian named FELIX MINKOV (Guest Star Mark Ivanir) who’s already verbally put up $40 million for the deal. Apparently, the government is investigating Minkov’s ambulance company for fraud, and Wayne fears the businessman could be trying to launder money through the Bayou Hills deal. Hugh couldn’t care less, though, because $150 million is $150 million.
More bad news is on the way for Wayne, too, when Minkov shows up for their meeting and announces he’s heard lots of good things about Doug Rich from his partner BARRY STONE. Stone not only graduated from Princeton with Rich in 1985, but he’s on his way to the meeting right now after he gets unstuck in traffic. The look on Wayne’s face says it all — “Oh, shit!!!”
Wayne calls SAMMY to find whatever he can on Stone at the house, and he calls Dahlia, too, to tell her she needs to come to the office immediately to cover for him while he finds out who this Stone person is. At the time, Dahlia’s fresh off of her latest failed job interview at a Hooters-style restaurant called Juggs.
The manager is certain she doesn’t fit the cowgirl next door image as a hardened, convicted felon. Predictably, Dahlia gets pissed again and storms out after asking the manager if he really thinks she’s not good enough to flash her tits at some jerk eating a hamburger.
Meanwhile, DALE fields a phone call from EAMON QUINN in Panco’s mailroom. Quinn thinks Dale is bullshitting him and unable to get closer to the action with Wayne. Yet, Dale assures him he’ll manage to sneak into the meeting Wayne is having with some so-called billionaires, and he does.
When the meeting gets underway, Wayne delivers the project vision to attendees: Bayou Hills will be an exact replica of Louisiana’s French Quarter, in tribute to hurricane-stricken New Orleans. The development will be built on prime land in Duquesne instead, resulting in 200 acres of brand-new houses starting at $1.2 million. Stone arrives just as Wayne is wrapping up the description, and the pretend lawyer high-tails it back to his office to make contact with Sammy and Dahlia and search for information about Stone online.
Everyone comes up empty, and Hugh stops by the office soon to tell Wayne to get his butt back in the meeting. Fortunately, Wayne successfully fakes his way through the introductions, although Stone claims that Doug looks nothing like he remembers. Later, Stone points out several things he thinks Doug overlooked during the deal’s preliminary paperwork, and he demands explanations.
The only problem is that Wayne doesn’t know jack about the things Stone mentions. He can thank AUBREY, then, who’s sitting behind Stone, for coming to his aid by texting him the information from her laptop. After Wayne is finally out of hot water, she ends the electronic exchange with the observation that Doug/Wayne isn’t a lawyer. Obviously.
As the meeting continues, Minkov eventually asks Doug to guarantee the development won’t include affordable housing. Doug is stunned because he knows the only way they’re able to get the land for the project is by promising to set aside 10 percent of the homes for low-income residents.
It turns out that Hugh promised investors on the golf court that would never happen, though. His sneaky scheme is to carry out the project in three stages: building brand-new million-dollar homes, selling said homes, and then having said homeowners band together to prevent the building of Section 8 housing. Doug is clearly uncomfortable about this deceptive plan, but he unenthusiastically agrees because, well, $150 million is $150 million.
It’s now Aubrey’s turn to get pissed, and she stalks out of the room after throwing a murderous glare Doug’s way. The situation goes from bad to worse when an assistant walks up to Wayne after everyone has left and tells him someone named Chet Landry has called twice looking for someone named Pete Mincey. Uh-oh…
During all of this, DI DI and Cael have been hanging out together, and Di Di tells her brother she can’t let him leave like she knows he’s planning to do. She doesn’t want to steal anymore, so she suggests that they do a Molly Brannigan at the mall in Eden Falls instead.
A Molly Brannigan consists of singing the song to acoustic guitar music and hoping people will leave a tip. While they’re performing, three stuck-up rich girls from school walk by, and the ringleader predictably makes a snobbish comment.
Di Di, who panicked when she first saw her schoolmates, says “Thanks, bitch” when Barbie Doll drops a bill in the guitar case. But later, Di Di has to confess to Cael that things will never be the same, although she wants them to be. The reason isn’t because he hates their new buffer lifestyle, but because she likes it. She leaves soon to finish an English paper that’s due the next day, and before she does, she asks Cael not to say goodbye since she hates goodbyes.
Dahlia, on the other hand, finally succeeds in scoring a graveyard-shift job cutting up raw fish in the kitchen of Rudi and Flo’s Fish Shack. The guy who hires her despite her criminal history also informs her about a vacant apartment in his building whose former tenant recently died of a drug overdose. After promising not to turn tricks (because she’s not a hooker!), Dahlia lands the apartment, too. As a result, she’s able to call Officer Devereaux with the news that she found a job and a place to live within the 24 hours he gave her. She does both under her real name.
Back at Panco, Aubrey informs Doug or Wayne or whatever the hell is name is that she’s quitting. Doug, panicked, lies that he had trouble passing the bar exam, but Aubrey doesn’t care about that. She’s suspected for a long time that he’s not a lawyer (good for her!), and she wasn’t concerned because she liked him and thought he was the only real person in the office. Now he’s committing fraud and doing it while screwing the thousands of people who suffered because of Hurricane Katrina, which isn’t kosher to her.
Doug counters that the affordable housing will get built. According to him, you tell investors what they want to hear, and then you go ahead and do whatever you wanted to in the first place as soon as they hand over their money. If the low-income housing isn’t constructed, he promises Aubrey she can turn him in to the police. Meanwhile, in the mailroom, Dale fields another call from a man connected to Quinn that we don’t get to hear the tail end of.
Still, problems just keep on coming for Wayne. At the office celebration after the investor meeting, Minkov corners him in a secluded area with his guard watching the door and more or less orders Wayne to cut Hugh out of the deal and then split the Bayou Hills profits 50–50 between them. Wayne’s response is an understandable “WTF?!”
But, he gets the drift quickly enough when Minkov reveals he’s not stupid like his partner Stone, so he knew immediately that Wayne had never been to Princeton. Minkov throws Wayne face-forward against a wall and nonverbally threatens physical violence if Wayne doesn’t play along and do as ordered. I wonder how long it will be before Minkov winds up disappeared or worse. Stay tuned…