The Miami Heat had a bad season, so bad that guard Dwayne Wade has apparently lost touch with reality. That’s the only explanation we can think of to explain the rumor that he’s dating divorcee-to-be Star Jones.
This is just plain squicky with a capital S. Actually, let’s make the QUICKY capital too because–well, it should be.
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We can think of at least 5 reasons why this should be classified as squicky:
1. Does anyone remember how she went on . . and on . . . and on . . . about her sponsor-filled, constantly plugged wedding on The View? If not, that’s OK. We’re trying to forget, too.
2. She was so aggravating and obsequious (how’s that for plucking a Junior English vocab word out of the past?) covering the red carpet that E! gave her the boot. Seriously—how hard is it to chat it up with kitted out celebrities and not get on everyone’s nerves? As if that’s a task only a worthy few can handle.
3. The Queen of TMI, who didn’t quite make it to her 4th anniversary with the formerly delusional Al Reynolds, published a nauseating and how-on-earth-it-made-it-past-the-editorial-board-is-beyond-us book called Shine: A Physical, Emotional, and Spiritual Journey to Finding Love shortly after wedded bliss was theirs to behold. You can buy it here on Amazon. It’s the perfect gift for someone you don’t like!
4. We have no problem with the 20-year age difference, but Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher these two are not, mostly because Star Jones is one half of the couple. No offense, Dwayne; anyone and Star Jones would equal a pair of honeys people would toss their cookies over, if they even had an appetite after the name “Star Jones” was mentioned.
5. Let’s reiterate this one more time, in case our subtlety has thrown you for a loop: It’s Star Jones, people. Star. Jones.