(Franworst: Worst Franchise Ideas) MoneyPenny over at Digital Money World is running a creative contest: Design your ideal ePayment system. She’s calling it the eDream Payment System Design Contest at Digital Money World, I believe.
What’s Digital Money World? If you’ve haven’t experienced Digital Money World, you really should. It’s broader in vision than both Digital Money Continent or Digital Money Hemisphere, but more intimate than Digital Money Universe or even Digital Money Solar System.
What are the prizes for the eDream Contest? It doesn’t really matter because I’ve probably already won with my eSean Payment System entry. (You should still enter, though. Losing builds character. Or so I hear.)
The eSean Payment System works like this:
Every time a transaction is processed, a little bit is deposited in my personal account for no particular reason. Almost instantly, I would be one of the wealthiest men in the country, living a life only Robin Leach is capable of narrating.
But it’s not all about me: eSean users would be able to view me enjoying their money in real time via eSeanTV.com. While they slave away at work, they can take a break to watch:
- Sean on the eSean yacht in the Caribbean,
- Sean on the eSean jet enroute to dinner in Paris,
- Sean partying in Rio after cliff diving and/or surfing* with Matthew McWhatshisname
The additional fee for my lavish lifestyle would be a great value, as eSean subscribers could live vicariously through me, 25/7.
Let’s face it: You’re gonna get screwed no matter what…
The ad campaign would be very striking, with breathtaking footage of me living the ultimate lifestyle and travelling the world. Sort of like the Bucket List without the cancer, bucket, etc. At the end of the commercial I’d look out the race car window and say: “Let’s face it: You’re gonna get screwed no matter which payment company you use. With eSean, at least you get to watch.”
As I gunned the engine and rejoined the Daytona 500, the announcer would say: “Now you can live the life of you’ve always imagined… through Sean. eSean.”
FYI: Until eSean is a reality, feel free to simply deposit your extra money into my PayPal account. I will send you postcards and email updates regularly.
*via my eSean body double.