WTF Is Going On With Band Names Lately?

The cool band name well is getting more and more dry by the day. I’ve seen a spike in stupid bands names as of lately. Most of the time it’s Metalcore bands but not all the time. Everyday I see a band name that makes me say; “WTF?”. I’m not rippin’ on these bands for their music because I’ve heard some of them are really good, but if you got a good band, it needs a good name. Here are just a few that I have seen in the past couple of days.

• Mother Died Today
• I Killed The Prom Queen
• Dead By April
• As You Drown (this one isn’t really bad at all)
• The Boy Will Drown
• Crystal Light (You can’t make this shit up, but I hear they’re pretty good)

Considering all the really cool metal names are pretty much taken, you don’t have much of a choice but to try to be creative these days…but at least TRY to be creative. I’m waiting for some band to names themselves “Larry Has AIDS” or “She Needs To Douche“. Seriously, if your bands name is a phrase or part of a sentence then you need to reconsider. Yes, having something to do with death or evil is cool, but don’t make it sound emo unless your band is emo-ish and that’s who you”re trying to accommodate. Sometimes the most un-metal name is very metal, but choose wisely or you may not be taken seriously. Taken seriously? Yes, taken seriously, especially when trying to get signed. Having a fun and funny name is cool at first, but do you think Nuclear Blast would sign you if your bands name was “Love Plunger“? Maybe, but not likely and you’ll have to settle for some second rate, indie label that isn’t going to take you far and promoters that aren’t going to book you unless your music is the best thing they have heard…ever.

Here are some of the best names in metal and obviously were used before the well started to dry up.

• Slayer: How can you really beat that as a metal name? I’ll tell you how…
• Death: point blank and nothing to dissect here.
• Metallica: Your band name has “Metal” in it, it doesn’t get much better than that.
• Megadeth: What’s almost as cool as Death…Mega-deth. Still pretty “kewl”.
• Black Sabbath: Take a holy day and make it sound scary and evil. It’s been done, so don’t try to name your band “The Easter Massacre” or “Black Death Christmas“, Although Black Death Christmas does sound kind of cool!

Now obviously these are just some of the basic and classic metal names that helped create a foundation for the amazing music they produced. Slayer once considered the name “Wings Of Fire“, no bullshit. Do you think they would have made an impact in the early days with that name?

Image: Amazon.com