SUBWAY: Send Jared to Gitmo!

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Wed, Jun 24 - 10:22 am EDT | 5 years ago by
Comments: 20
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Leave a comment below if you think we should send SUBWAY spokesperson Jared Fogle to Gitmo!  And don’t forget to Tweet —>

handsA commenter on a post at (SUBWAY Seizes, Resells Deployed GI’s Franchises) offered this modest proposal:  The U.S. Armed forces should seize SUBWAY sandwich spokesperson Jared Fogle and detain him at Guantanamo Bay until certain demands are met.

The demands?  Justice for Subway franchisee Leon Batie Jr.

Leon Batie Jr. is a former multi-unit Subway franchisee and a U.S. Army Reservist deployed to Afghanistan.  While risking his life in defense of his country, his two Subway franchises fell behind on the rent (by $13,500, claims Subway;  less according to Batie & his attorney).  While he was dodging roadside bombs in Afghanistan, Subway seized ownership of the 2 businesses he had poured his savings and dreams into.  The Subway area developer (OPM Ventures LP) allegedly turned around and resold Batie’s franchise locations for a profit.  The Subway Area Developer allegedly pocketed $100,000 profit off one of Batie’s units, which they bought for $35,000 and resold for $135,000.

Batie, who has re-signed with the U.S. Army full-time, not only lost his stores, but is saddled with a six-figure debt load.  Batie is suing for $6M under the Servicemembers Act, a law that bars anyone from terminating an active-duty service member’s installment contract, including leases, without a court order.

“I’m a SUBWAY Spokesperson – Get me out of here!”

But I like the Unhappy Franchisee commenter’s idea.  We’ve all made a significant investment in the war effort and facilities like Gitmo.  Why shouldn’t we use these resources to defend our armed forces’ members at home, as well as overseas… especially if we can have some fun in the process?

Isn’t active serviceman Leon Batie Jr. under attack?

Shouldn’t he be able to radio for air support?  Shouldn’t Blackhawk helicopters descend on Jared’s upscale neighborhood just before dawn and wisk him and his giant former pants off to an undisclosed location?

It will be a win-win situation for all involved.  SUBWAY can pay Batie $6M out of its Ad Fund for sponsorship of the resulting reality show “I’m a SUBWAY Spokesperson – Get me out of here!”  Batie will have $6M to invest in a more vet-friendly franchise, like Wiznos Sub.  And Jared will have attoned for his crimes against humanity (such as speaking in monotone, waving those fat pants, and being filthy, stinking rich).

Related reading:  SUBWAY Seizes, Resells Deployed GI’s Franchises


image:  FranBest franchise information

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  • Mark Jabo

    Good idea, Sean. Don’t forget the full body cavity search.

  • Chad

    Send him to Gitmo!

  • Miranda Marquit

    This is so incredibly wrong on so many levels. A selfless American hero gets screwed by greedy jerks? To Gitmo!

  • Sean Kelly

    Thanks, Mark Jabo! Your ability to steer every conversation to the subject of “full body cavity searches” is truly uncanny. All should check out Mark’s blog BizLevity.Com (formerly

    Thanks, Chad! Chad reminds us that Canadians are Americans too! (sort of) And an ad dollar spent advertising on b5 Media, and is a dollar spent supporting our servicemen. Or at least supporting me writing about our servicemen and important topics such as “Would diet-soda-boarding Jared be considered torture and, if so, do we care?”

    Thanks, Miranda! A selfless American hero gets screwed by greedy jerks? You’ve leaked the tagline of my autobiography

  • Miki

    OK, I’m gonna get blasted for this, but forget Jared, he doesn’t set policy. I’d rather send the greed execs who crafted this crappy ripoff to Gitmo, stuff them with Whoppers and call it community service!

  • Cyndi L

    Miki, you’re totally right, but he *is* the poster boy. So let’s be democratic about it and send all of them :-)

  • bnpositive

    I love Subway and think Jared is okay, but the actions of the corporate officers are ridiculous! I think the corporate folks should be sent to Gitmo, not Jared.

  • Rachel

    Love it!! To Gitmo with thee, Jared!

  • Sean Kelly

    Great points! Thanks for your comments and Retweets (see button above, twitters).

    Subway Execs (and their attorneys) read this blog, so you are being heard. I know this by the correspondence I receive from them and their attorneys when they take exception to my posts (like the one where I suggested they add strippers like their franchisee Cousin Vinny. I had to remove Bambi’s photoshopped Subway name tag from the pic :().

    Special thanks to Eric for not adding “5-dollar footlongs” to his list.

  • Bob Hadfield

    It’s not fair and totally unreasonable for Subway to do this to Leon Batie. To think that he gave his time and effort to protect our freedom and then have Subway do this to him is UNAMERICAN. Boo and Hiss to Subway!

  • Sean Kelly

    Miki wrote: …stuff them with Whoppers and call it community service!
    That clearly falls under the definition of “torture.” Like forcefeeding Pepsi to Coca Cola execs.

    Though it is a powerful threat to supersize Jared while he’s at Gitmo. Could add a sense of urgency.

    Bob Hadfield: You go, Bob!

  • Ken Stadden

    Good job pouncing on this, Sean!

    The spokesman may not be the bad guy here, but Subway’s corporate officers deserve a whack in the corporate pocketbook to make them wake up and say, “Oh, my bad.” They shat on a service guy and they need to make things right.

  • Justin Dickinson

    This is the crazy stuff Bill O’Reilly and Shawn Hannity LOVE to bring to light!

    I don’t think Gitmo is a tough enough place for Jared but it will have to do. They will also need to play the Subway theme song, continuously looping for 23 hours a day. Leave the 1 hour open to gnaw at him. He should them be forced to recite the pledge of allegiance for the other hour. AND we need a 24/7 web cam on him for ours and our service members on-demand viewing pleasure.

  • Sean Kelly

    Justin: Spoken like a true (and possibly damaged) vet. You’re not armed are you? (other than the snake-seeking garden rake, I mean)

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  • Rich Piotrowski

    Of course before this latest sleazy move, I though Subway Exec and Jared both deserve to be tortured for conning America into believing their pre-sliced, then shipped to the stores frozen, “meat” is eating fresh, but that’s another issue for another day. As for this move, I think maybe they are getting jealous of Quiznos, and figure, why should Quiznos get all the attention for being so sleazy? Perhaps these two companies can just skip franchising food altogether and franchise street crime. Why not, why should all these bank robbers, rapist and other assorted hoodlums have to be independents? Subway and Quiznos certainly don’t care about making people victims, so there is no ethics issue. And the public will be well served too! How so? When a Subway or Quiznos thief sticks a knife in your stomach, as least you know it will be a standard corporately approved one. Those standards matter after all.

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  • Jeri Vespoli

    Hell yes…and well identified win-win!

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  • Eric

    I totally agree. Not only should the SubWay Execs. go to Gitmo, so should the Execs at OPM Ventures LP (which rebuilt the stores and sold at a profit).

    Although, one should not write “stuff them full of Whoppers” on the same page as “full bodily cavity searches”. One gets the wrong image..