I hate first dates – they’re like job interviews. The protocol, the do’s and the don’ts… They just irk me. That said, I’m sure it cuts both ways with you fellas, too. Though I don’t claim to be a relationship expert, I can certainly attest to a few turn-offs in the dating world, as I’ve definitely had my fair share of horrible first dates.
Rule #1: Always always always pay (and try not to look cheap).
I went out with a guy once – he took me to Outback Steakhouse. We had a nice meal, some wine, and some Bloomin’ Onion. The check came – I offered, but he denied and footed the bill. No red flags there. But what came next was just tacky (I excused the restaurant venue, as we were in our younger 20s, and working in retail at the time). Things were going great so we decided to move on to a bar. As soon as we sat down, he turned to me with quite a serious look on his face, stared deeply into my eyes and said, “Okay, I got dinner so, you get the drinks here, okay?” Now, it’s not the fact that I paid for our drinks that was the turnoff. The appalling point was that he had the gall to seriously coerce me to pay my fair share of the date! Perhaps he was down on his luck and wanted to make sure things would be even. If so, why not wait till the bill comes when I offer, and let me pay? Certainly that would’ve been far better than this triumphant moment of cheap bastardness.
Rule #2: Do not get shitfaced.
I don’t always have a high tolerance, but I do enjoy an alcoholic beverage on a regular basis. And because of this, I’ve been on multiple dates where I’ve out-drank my date. It’s embarrassing… for him. If you can’t hold your liquor, just fess up to it. Or, why not distract your date with your charm and wit and get her to jump into another activity? And what is it about being drunk that makes you men so outright horny? Is it like a default button or something that goes off inside? I had a date once that got so wasted he could not keep his slobbery paws and mouth off of me. I struggled to maintain my balance in 4-inch stilettos on the cobblestones in West Village, New York, while he continued to try to put his clumsy lips on mine at nearly every corner until I finally could break free and hop into a cab. Needless to say, there was no second encounter.
Rule #3: Keep your social media profiles private!
I had a friend who met a guy on OKCupid once. He messaged her, they exchanged phone numbers, texted over a few weeks, and even set up a date. She was very excited, as he really sounded like a promising match. Cute, seemingly normal, with a job working as a consultant in the financial industry. She’s a bit on the naïve side, and so I suggested she do her homework and Google him. Well, she was very thankful that she did. Upon Googling his name, she came across his Facebook profile, which was NOT made private. After confirming that was him in the picture (as well as his email address, which matched perfectly), we found out that he was in a relationship! The nerve of this guy to be seeing girls on the side through an online dating service! And how idiotic to not keep his profile in check. I’m not sure which is worse – the cheating or the stupidity. In either case, don’t do it.