Ask EveryJoe: Help! I Can Only Get Off With Help From Reddit

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Fri, Jun 28 - 3:21 am EDT | 10 months ago by
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Johnson Jones answers your questions about relationships, dating, sex and anything else that has to do with chicks. Contact him at askeveryjoe@gmail.com to get your question answered.

I have a unique problem I need help with. Hopefully you can do me a solid. I have absolutely no sex drive unless my girlfriend posts naked pictures of herself on Reddit’s Gone Wild section. When I see other guys fawning over my girl, then I’m ready to rock and roll. What’s wrong with me?

Straight up, that’s a bit strange. Basically you’re saying you can’t get excited unless other guys get excited. But, man, I’m not gonna hate. It’s obvious you love having your ego stroked. Seeing dudes drool over your girl makes you feel good about yourself. What you should try instead is to have your girl do the stroking of your ego. Be up front and tell her that’s what gets you off. If that doesn’t work, keep pimpin’ on Reddit.

Hey EveryJoe, I have a dilemma for you. I have a major foot fetish to the point that I only care about feet. That’s it. I don’t care what the rest of a woman’s body looks like as long as her feet are pretty. How do I go about finding a woman who will let me worship her feet and ignore the rest of her?

I’ve got a few bros who are just like you. For whatever reason, dudes with foot fetishes have a one track mind. It’s feet first, second and third. They’ll be at a strip club complaining about the dancer wearing shoes while the rest of us stare at her chest. Since you ain’t changing, the best way to go is to be up front with chicks. Tell her you’re attracted to feet from the get go. If that freaks her out, then she wasn’t the one. Keep it up and you’ll eventually find a girl who is fine with your odd fetish and will actually enjoy the daily foot massages.

_______

Previous Johnson Jones advice columns:
What Should I Do About My Drunk Girlfriend?
Help! My Manhood Points Due South
My Wife Talks in a Pirate Voice When She Climaxes
Help! Mismatched Libidos Ruining My Relationship
I Cheated on My Wife and Got Burnt
Help! Her Room Smelled Like a Shrimp Boat
I Caught My Girlfriend in Bed with a Man
Help! I Think She’s Ruined
My Wife Switches Positions Too Much
Help! No Backdoor Entry Allowed
Is My Penis Too Small?
Help! My Wife Stopped Wanting Sex
Curvy Latina Ate My Gum

Johnson Jones is our resident expert on the fairer sex. He’s always walking around here with a new chick on his arm. The guy knows his stuff.

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