9 Reasons Why a Man Should Never Go Down on a Woman

Posted in Health
Tue, Jul 23 - 2:42 am EDT | 1 year ago by
Comments: 607
Share This Post:
  • Facebook
  • StumbleUpon
  • Tumblr
  • Reddit
  • Twitter

In today’s society, men have to deal with many unwritten expectations when in a relationship with a woman. One such expectation is to perform cunnilingus on the woman’s whim. However, I’m here to tell you that mindset is a mistake. In fact, men should never perform oral sex.

After you pick your jaws off the ground, hear me out; I realize this goes against everything you’ve heard — but once you review all the evidence, I guarantee you will agree with me.

Ready for you mind to be blown? Here is why a man must avoid cunnilingus at all costs — click “Next” to see all nine reasons:

1. HPV in Women Causes Throat Cancer in Men

Picture 1 of 9



A new study has linked throat cancer in males to certain strains of HPV present in a large percentage of woman. How does the HPV get into the throat to cause the malignancy? Cunnilingus. In fact, actor Michael Douglas is on record as saying oral sex is the reason why he developed throat cancer. If he would have taken this advice to avoid oral sex, he wouldn't be at death's door.

Related Posts

Share This Post:
  • Facebook
  • StumbleUpon
  • Tumblr
  • Reddit
  • Twitter
  • You’reForeverAlone

    Good luck every getting a girlfriend, bro.

    • Alexandra

      Ha! Ya got that right!

  • Billy Bob C.

    Does sperm really stay in a woman’s body for an indefinite amount of time? Grossssssssss.

    • Kairy Salazar

      See as a woman sheds the entire lining of her uterus on a monthly basis I would say that is total BS

    • Mohammad Mario

      Yes iy does, actually its about 4 months according to scientific research

  • Fabio

    Dude, are you kidding me? You put your name on an article with this title. The pussy market just closed for business in your neighborhood.

    • Jamaal

      I’m with him though. I only do that as a last resort, bra.

    • Vinny Amatucci

      Are you kidding? That’s the BEST PART!! It’s like the white meat in chicken. It’s the most delectable, delicious part. But after this, I WOULD have her DOUCHE’ first!

    • Jo

      Douching might not be the best idea if you want the woman to be around for as long as possible. Frequent douching puts women at risk for cervical cancer.

    • noname

      Yes like taking a laxative every day Might not be a good idea because you might shit yourself out in public! what a shit load of fuck! actually dumb ass it DECREASES the risk of getting Many things including cervical cancer! and what your calling the cervix is wrong it’s the spinal part between your shoulder blades MORON!

    • uberwekkness

      lmao what the fuck are you talking about?? The cervix is part of female anatomy. You are ON THE INTERNET. Google it.

      Also, douching is incredibly bad for women, which has been proven time and time again. It messes up the natural chemistry, and makes it WAY more likely for a woman to get a yeast infection.

    • noname

      says the wog cunt! enjoy your throat cancer fucking Moron!

    • http://www.allisonmdickson.com/ Allison M. Dickson

      This is ignorant. Douching increases the likelihood of bacterial and yeast imbalances in the vagina. It’s the EXACT OPPOSITE of what a woman should do to maintain vaginal hygiene.

    • fr0gman

      Typical black guy response.

    • the truth

      Don’t be ignorant your ENTIRE life, frogman. I am black and I love making a woman cum from going down on her too, so check your ingredients there……. Jamall, to quote Chris Rock, “If you don’t eat pussy you’ll lose your woman like a set of keys”…….. REAL TALK

    • kizzy

      Racist much?

    • Ron

      It’s polite to be a generous lover, leaves a better impression.

    • Stacey

      Last resort? What, if your penis doesn’t work?

    • Lauria

      ROTFL! *snort*

    • fr33kSh0w2012

      there’s tools for that reason!

    • fr33kSh0w2012

      NO DON’T DO IT AT ALL!

    • mausium

      Gosh, I wonder why you’re stuck living with mom.

    • woman in her 20′s

      Jamaal along with this guy who wrote the “article” if it can be considered that…. I hope you plan on never getting laid again… because if the ladies in your lives read this you are toast.

    • Robert Hackenberg

      Dude….never block the option. Women will do anything after you get that tongue working. And it’s good for your skin.

  • James

    This is stupid. HPV is transmitted through skin-to-skin contact with an infected partner, regardless of gender or sexual orientation. Men pass it to women orally, vaginally and anally too. Also, gay men and women are at risk of contracting the same HPV causing cancer. You’re an idiot, an idiot who will never get another blow job again.

    • Alec Dempsey

      Untrue, do some research armchair doctor.

    • raméy

      actually, that is true.

    • Lauria

      It is true, nuns get cervical cancer hardly ever in comparison to sexually active heterosexual women.

    • mausium

      But, children who have never been molested and sincerly chaste nuns DO get diagnosed with it.

  • Marco

    if you don’t ever go down on a woman don’t ever expect a woman to go down on you… or ever have sex with you for that matter. I think this guy hates vagina.

    • LoverNoFighter

      Personally, I’m not interested in a guy going down on me. So I — for one — would date a man opposed to it.

      *shrugs*

    • Gumfriend

      Really? Why so? You don’t care to receive oral sex??? I’ve met very few women who didnt like it. The one woman who I met who didn’t like it had the most delicious-looking “peach”. I would have to have had a chance to pleasure her. Seemed like a waste. I guess every woman has her reasons.

    • Sofi

      I LOVE having a guy down there ;;) but i guess i never had except one cuz i prefer having the person who pleases me is the person i love

    • noname

      That’s Disgusting!

    • Kevin

      Pretty sure by “cuz” she meant “because” not “cousin”

    • Mark Emilio Fleener

      May I ask why? Do you think it unnatural?

    • Rickey John

      cant be posible……. every womn lov it

    • Personal Guy

      Uncommon but not unheard of. I have dated a couple of women who didn’t like for a man to go down on them. It’s not that they didn’t like the stimulation – they just felt very vulnerable, and sort of nervous/uncomfortable about it, so they preferred full-on sex, missionary-style, to have me right there. I understand the logic but I was kind of bummed out because I like going down. They both, however, absolutely loved going down on a guy. *shrug*

    • http://www.charmbomb.me/ P.J. Sparkle

      Yeah, but that’s a whole emotional thing. Like something more likely than not, made her feel vulnerable at some point, and she now shuts down anything that reminded her of it. There’s a difference between “I just don’t dig it.” and “I have an unresolved issue that is effecting me.”

    • Fred

      Good point, it could also be the fact she didn’t shave that day..

    • Amelia

      Then you havent run across a man who knows how it done #IJS

    • Amelia

      Then you havent run across a man who knows how it done #IJS

    • nixon

      so don’t expect men give you bj if you don’t want give cunnilingus to your partner

    • dr. feelgood

      So sad….heartrending!!!! Well, there goes sex then…nothing to do but stare at each other and smile. Time to move on.

    • noname

      Perfect!

    • CJ

      Multi-orgasmic women usually don’t like oral sex.

    • mallenby

      That has been my experience as well. So many missed opportunities. ..

    • DREW BURGE

      I find cunnilingus leads to multiple orgasms. I’ve only ever met one woman who did not enjoy having some down South time.

    • Corey Judie

      I had a women that got overloaded when i attempted cunnilingus. She was also able to orgasm from just looking at the ripples in my shoulders. That is in line with the general medical consensus. It should also make these women reconsider calling themselves “multi-orgasmic.”

    • annie

      Nothing in medicine is 100% , so your experience doesn’t invalidate the general rule.

      Unless that only applies conditionally, when it benefits you. Also, as a student of human sexuality (ubc third year) then you’re in complete opposition to the gathered empirical data. In fact, my textbook informs me that cunnilingus provides the most intense orgasms for women with absolutely no mention that multi-orgasmic women are any different. As a multi-orgasmic woman I can only add my personal experience to those of the other women responding to this display of ignorance.

    • http://www.charmbomb.me/ P.J. Sparkle

      Hey, if you don’t want to go down on women, don’t go down on em. It’s o.k.

      If your particular technique didn’t work, that’s o.k. too.

      If the partners you’ve had have been particularly sensitive to certain acts, that’s also o.k.

      But don’t go around spreading false information as truth, because other people may take it seriously, and use it to make a poor choice.

    • Angie Goodnight

      Crap. I am multi-orgasmic and love it.

    • Corey Judie

      Most woman, if not all woman are able to have multiple orgasms, with varying degrees of ease. The term “multi-orgasmic” here simply refers to how easily orgasms are reached and repeated, normally an indication of the sensitivity of the clitoris. So the more sensitive the clitoris, the easier it is to have multiple-orgasms, but the more uncomfortable it is to receive cunnilingus. Logical really.

    • Angie Goodnight

      Like I say, Corey, I have lots of orgasms also multi-orgasms and have never found cunnilingus uncomfortable as long as he keeps me lubricated. I don’t think there is any study showing that women who easily have orgasms don’t like oral sex or, for that matter find it uncomfortable.

    • http://www.charmbomb.me/ P.J. Sparkle

      There is a study, about women being stimulated in general (thanks overdue library book!) 90% of the women, a majority of which had never experienced orgasm, were able to have multiple orgasms, when properly stimulated,

    • Corey Judie

      Nothing in medicine is 100% , so your experience doesn’t invalidate the general rule.

    • Angie Goodnight

      Yes, but where is the evidence that this is a general rule. Where has the study been done that people who have multiple orgasms don’t like oral sex That is the claim you made 21 days ago. You can’t make a claim like that without evidence so where is it? I am actually very interested in this claim and need to know whether or not is supported by actual results. I have a sex blog and am also an erotica author, so need to be aware of such things. Would be most grateful if you could tell me where the information originated.

    • Geezus. Men! Amiright?

      isn’t it hilarious, Angie, when d00ds think they know more about our bodies than we do? Corey’s failure to provide evidence apart from his personal experience with women is such ridiculous bullshit. General rule, my ass. *show.us.the.study* and then all the women who weren’t part of it can prove the need for a new study. eugh.

    • Angie Goodnight

      Interesting Geezus, I thought Corey was female.

    • SassyNP

      Do you have a link to your blog?

    • Angie Goodnight

      Sure, but if they edit out the link just search Angela Goodnight in a search engine. http://www.angelagoodnight.com/sexblog

    • Angie Goodnight

      Tried to give it but it was moderated out, which is a little sad. I’m hardly a threat to this site. Just search on my name, but as Angela, not Angie.

    • http://www.charmbomb.me/ P.J. Sparkle

      I’d have to disagree: My best, most consecutive orgasms have been from G-spot stimulation. Sure, this happens quicker if i have clitoris stimulation as well (and I prefer it to be oral) But It doesn’t have to. Quite often, after orgasms by clitoris stimulation, the thing is so sensitive, I don’t want it touche again for a while.

      I also seem to have a particularly skilled partner. I’ve watched him work the magic on other women, who have never experienced MO, and it was the same result: it was all from G-spot stimulation.

    • A

      I’ve never had an orgasm from g-spot alone. I think mine is broken. lol

    • http://www.charmbomb.me/ P.J. Sparkle

      It’s a tricky spot. There can be more than one concentration of nerves, as well. The nerves covering the interior of the vagina a kind of like an un-even net, with some spots having way more coverage than others.

      The tip I give my partner is “wander around a bit in there.”

      Experiment! Try other positions! Put your legs on your partners shoulders, that tiny shift if muscle use can make a world of difference. Have more sex! =D You can do it!

    • SassyNP

      There’s a lot of bunk in this article. Never have found the G spot, but there’s a large percentage of women who can only have orgasms with manual or oral stimulation of the clitoris. Also, the truth is in the research. The clitoris for women is the penis of the male. It starts in the womb. How clean do you think his penis is despite cleaning first and stating monogamy. I suppose he expects oral sex without a condom and probably has sex the same way. Does he really the penis contains less STDs or other health issues. Works both ways. Best advice….know your partner and enjoy each other. There is no emasculation in providing pleasure for your women. Also, I’ve had a lot of luck with KY intense for MO with clitoral stimulation. Some of the longest and best in years:)

    • Angie Goodnight

      I get the same sensitivity. I think my orgasms tend to be a combination. The clitoris, internally, wraps around the vagina and the erectile tissue in the vestibule wraps around the urethra so the exposed bit of the clit can cause both types of orgasm and also ejaculation. I’ve had ejaculation from clitoris only orgasms and also from g-spot. God, isn’t the variety incredible. I wrote about multiple orgasms on 26th March. http://www.angelagoodnight.com

    • Angie Goodnight

      I have orgasms from both clitoris and penetration. It must be remembered that the internal clitoris and the bulb of vestibule are both erectile tissue and wrap around the vagina and urethra. It is the arousal of these which cause both types of orgasm and the third type known as squirting or female ejaculation. Angela Goodnight

    • Mishka Dennis

      False. I reach orgasm easily and I love it!

    • A Random Pirate

      Good for you.

    • Angie Goodnight

      I come really easily from penetration or clitoris stimulation, but know others can’t always do the same. It is desperately sad that up to 40% of women claim they’ve never orgasmed. Can’t imagine going through life without the totally overwhelming sensation of coming. http://www.angelagoodnight.com/sexblog

    • Haystacks

      I am guessing you don’t have a clitoris?

    • http://www.charmbomb.me/ P.J. Sparkle

      The poor dear.

    • Mishka Dennis

      Bullshit! I’m very multi-orgasmic and I love it!

      If a guy told me he wouldn’t go down on me he shouldn’t expect me to go down on him. I wouldn’t stay with him either. I’m not into repressed individuals.

    • A Random Pirate

      You’re so fleeting.

    • Mishka Dennis

      What does that even mean?

    • Paul

      Agreed with the comment about not expecting a woman to give oral to a man who doesn’t like cunnilingus, but I don’t understand why it has to be such a make-or-break thing in the first place. I have never had any desire to ever go down on a woman; the concept just strikes me as horribly unsanitary and unpleasant. Why should that (in my opinion not relevant to a larger relationship) hang-up prevent an otherwise good sexual and emotional relationship?

    • Angie Goodnight

      A clean vulva is just as healthy as a clean mouth. I’ve dealt with this on my blog many times. There is nothing unsanitary about it and if you haven’t seen the pleasure you can cause in among the tangle of our bits then it is rather sad. The main outlet in a man for precum and cum is also the urinary tract, but as long as it is clean and the foreskin thoroughly washed there is nothing unsanitary about fellatio either. Obviously a girl must wash thoroughly to remove any smegma etc in the same way a man should. Once that is done, however, there is nothing unsanitary about either. Angela Goodnight.

    • a

      U don’t know what you’re missing…I wasn’t interested, either…thought it was awkward, actually. Then I found a guy who could do it right…simply, amazing.

    • TFYFWYA

      it’s one thing to not enjoy it as a woman, it’s another thing for a man to simply refuse to do it. You’re gonna end up with a real loser if you date men who hate going down.

    • DiDi

      I personally don’t like it either. It makes me uncomfortable. I have no issue with giving oral though.

    • Jay

      If not interested than who ever it was hasn’t been doing it right!!!!

    • Milania

      You are one oppressed woman sweetheart. Your vagina is your best friend and deserves to be pleased, all the time.

    • Jess Geez

      But PLEASE… you are setting a REALLY bad precedent for anyone that man will date after you. PLEASE DON’T!!!

    • http://www.charmbomb.me/ P.J. Sparkle

      meh, everyone needs someone.

      can’t force a guy to go down. So he may as well stick to women who don’t enjoy it. And only women who don’t enjoy it.

    • Raucus

      I’m sorry for your loss.

    • smx

      Ok, but there’s a big difference between you telling him “It’s fine if you don’t” and him telling you “You’re gross so I won’t”. You really want to date THAT guy?

    • noname

      DERP

    • username53

      You could also say that he refrains from any interaction with the vaginal crease

    • HETEROSEXUALITY=GENDERTREASON

      worthless nigger piss ofshit

      heteroxxxeuality is disease and u must be beaten until u convert again to nature of own sex

      if u r heterosexual u must be treated with hormones, u worthless parasite scum

      heterosexuqality is perversion

      it destroys gender like multiculturalism destroysd natural culture

      we will kill u and ur fucking retard family gender traitor scum

      heterosexuality is mental disease and testosterone is the cure

      u worthless gender traitor fagg

      heterosexuals have no best friend thus they become gender traitor u retarded estrogen pusyfag

      homosexuality means permament homosociality, 100% manliness

      i will stab ur family scum

      gay means faggot aka unmanly = pussyfaggot heterosexual

      u arent manly for mansex, u have gender identity disorder so u cant stand testosterone, u arent normal, normal means manliness u gender traitor fag

      only pussies like pussies

      brostitutrefag

      bro before hoe u fucking cocktraitor scum

      u muff fuck like animals not like men, homosexuality is what differs humans from animals

      hetero sapiens doesnt exist
      why dont u fuck pigs if u like diversity, HETEROSEXUALITY DESTROYS GENDER LIKE MULTICULTURALISM DSETROYS HERITAGE

      GTFO FAG

  • Erica

    This article is fucking disgusting. Cunnilingus turns us into domineering lesbians who hate sex and only love you for your tongue? Have you ever even been with a woman?

    • Vinny Amatucci

      That’s why I said this guy is GAY!

    • LoverNoFighter

      What’s wrong with being gay?

    • Mark Emilio Fleener

      Nothing wrong with being gay, especially if you’re writing an article on gay sex.

    • Jay737

      What’s wrong ? I’ll tell you, god created a MAN and WOMAN not 2 GAYS

    • Jay – not lover nor fighter

      So God didn’t create gay people too? That’s amazing…who did then?

    • Warrior4just

      no..it is behavior…not a gender. Two males are still males, not some gender with their corresponding compatible sexual organs.

    • wyckedwyccan

      you are right in that it is not a behavior, it is a sexual orientation… with that said… When you wake up each morning, do you decide which sexual orientation you’ll behave as that day while brushing your teeth or putting on your socks?

    • noname

      Devilry and those sick banking cartel fuckers! Satan!

    • noname

      God created Adam and eve not Adam and Steve!

    • wyckedwyccan

      and at what age did you decide to be hetero?

    • Warrior4just

      Without hetero you wouldn’t exist…hetero is the origin of gonochoric species….hetero is the state of affairs. Homosexuality isn’t..because there is a need to justify it by a certain disorder or perturbations having had taken place. Until there is an irrefutable proof…your claims are as valid as bigfoot

    • Kevin

      Holy crap. I didn’t know anachronisms like you still exist. Welcome to the 21st century… which wormhole did you arrive in?

    • http://www.charmbomb.me/ P.J. Sparkle

      He also didn’t create organized religion, Iphones, or the big mac. But hey, there they are.

    • gromm

      Nothing, so long as he’s honest about it, which this guy… totally is *not*. He seems to be so very tempted to “turn gay”, that even the slightest push will send him there. And he must resist with all his strength!

    • Meow

      Nothing’s wrong with being gay. Being a gay man and writing an article on what not to do during sex with a female? There is something wrong with that.

    • Ivan Urkinuov

      It’s unnatural. Have you ever threaded a pipe? Two female threads don’t make a union. Neither do two male threads. IT’s just wrong, that’s it.

    • http://www.charmbomb.me/ P.J. Sparkle

      I don’t want a union. I want to watch two guys docking, with a chick on my face, and a guy behind me.

      I’ll ask God for forgiveness, because I’m sure he doesn’t approve, but he kinda knew I was going to do that anyway, isn’t that why he sent Jesus?

    • Ivan Urkinuov

      But how will you make babies that way? It ain’t right. It just ain’t.

    • http://www.charmbomb.me/ P.J. Sparkle

      Oh, I have no problems making babies. It’s not making them that I find I have to focus on.

    • http://www.allisonmdickson.com/ Allison M. Dickson

      Did you know that there are hundreds of species of animals that exhibit homosexual tendencies. If “it ain’t right,” then you wouldn’t really be seeing it spread throughout the animal kingdom. So get over yourself and open your mind. The only thing that “ain’t right” is your ignorance-based bias.

    • Mark Emilio Fleener

      Actually, after really reading through this nonsense, I’ve picked up on his being religious, and possibly in the closet.

    • fr33kSh0w2012

      Yes Erica it does! I’ll never do it and I don’t expect a women would do it to me either mouths are NOT supposed to be used for that!

    • gromm

      Your feet aren’t supposed to be used to push pedals to ride a bike either, and yet human ingenuity…

      God gave you a big brain for a reason, and at great risk to your mom during childbirth. Don’t waste this gift.

    • http://www.charmbomb.me/ P.J. Sparkle

      that still doesn’t make this article valid: You can get sti’s from all unprotected sex, and a few from kissing as well. With any gender, on any hole, with just about any fluid. Everything fun, or fattening, will kill you, in the end.

    • fr33kSh0w2012

      yes many in my early years none now however haven’t had anything in ages! I’m also looking after my mentally ILL Mother for the rest of my horrible fucking life!

    • http://www.charmbomb.me/ P.J. Sparkle

      I only love men for the their squishy-love-bits.

  • OPISAFAG

    This guy is probably more frustrated than a single guy in the middle east

    • Liv

      HAHAHAHA

    • Warrior4just

      why ? because he talks facts ? if you are with cunninlingus based on solid proof, that makes you an immoral person

  • Herr Doktor

    what a terrible article. There are NO known cases of HIV being contacted by cunnilingus, for starters. I know as I have worked in sexual health. It’s also not true that all other sts can be passed on, just some. This guy knows nothing. It’s pointless drivel.

    • Noah

      “NO known cases of HIV being contacted by cunnilingus”
      http://www.nhs.uk/chq/pages/3098.aspx?categoryid=118&subcategoryid=126

      “It’s also not true that all other sts can be passed on, just some.”

      I didn’t say all.

      Learn to research/read. Thanks.

    • Vinny Amatucci

      Only if they have an open sore or cut in their mouth. Then the possibility exists. Otherwise, I think the chances are small.

    • Licks for Clits 2k14

      And so Noah picks the one battle on the page he feels he can win. Round of applause for you, buddy. Kudos for the double standard on what counts as research.

    • Jo

      HIV can spread through oral sex. It is just unlikely.

  • ohmeohmy

    What the hell kind of foolishness is this smh

  • Marta

    When engaging in cunnilingus you should be using a dental dam, the female version of a condom designed specifically for oral sex. The risks are the same any way you do it if you’re not protected. And as for “turning” into a lesbian – if a girl gave you a blowjob, would you “become” gay? Idiot.

    • Vinny Amatucci

      Why not just jam a plastic bag in your mouth? That will catch the runaway jiz. Or maybe some saran wrap wrapped around the pecker will protect you.

    • Tyler McCracken

      Or, don’t hit strange every time. Maybe settle down with a non-whore. Cuts the risk down considerably.

      One in three, dawg. One in three.

    • Warrior4just

      and who the hell are you to tell men “alphas” what to do….how about cutting cunnilingus altogether….thervfore cutting risk and still enjoying women. Are you gay, misandric, or anit-men

    • mausium

      No “Alphas” here, just sad little dudes.

    • action

      That is is for sailors bra. You cant get the taste with a bag in your face!

  • Vinny Amatucci

    This guy is DEFINITELY GAY! I’ve been eating pussy for decades and NEVER had a problem with it. Eating pussy is some of the BEST part of getting pussy. Nothing beats the taste of fresh clams!!

    • Brick Hester

      Right on Vinny!

    • Warrior4just

      here is another fallacy filled response:
      1-What’s the relationship between eating pussy and the reporter’s sexual orientation ….if talks medical facts. ahhh NONE.
      2-The fact that you aren’t experiencing any symptoms doesn’t exclude the chance of developing some complication later in life.
      3- The fact that you don’t anything right now, doesn’t mean other won’t have problems.

    • Ivan Urkinuov

      He’s not “Gay.” Only man enough to tell the truth.

  • Joshua

    This is obviously a troll who is trying to get attention with this pussy propaganda. Go troll somewhere else, pussy troll. Real men aren’t afraid of pleasuring a woman and being emasculated or turning her into a closet lesbian. Go put playing cards in your bike spokes, you prepubescent moron from the 50′s.

    • fr33kSh0w2012

      Yeah /not!

    • Ashley Sweeney

      I want to use the term “pussy troll” all the time.

    • Mike..el

      This guy’s name should be pillowpants.

    • Lovendataco

      You got that rite!

    • HETEROSEXUALITY=GENDERTREASON

      jew fag

      worthless nigger piss ofshit

      heteroxxxeuality is disease and u must be beaten until u convert again to nature of own sex

      if u r heterosexual u must be treated with hormones, u worthless parasite scum

      heterosexuqality is perversion

      it destroys gender like multiculturalism destroysd natural culture

      we will kill u and ur fucking retard family gender traitor scum

      heterosexuality is mental disease and testosterone is the cure

      u worthless gender traitor fag

      heterosexuals have no best friend thus they become gender traitor u retarded estrogen pusyfag

      homosexuality means permament homosociality, 100% manliness

      i will stab ur family scum

      gay means faggot aka unmanly = pussyfaggot heterosexual

      u arent manly for mansex, u have gender identity disorder so u cant stand testosterone, u arent normal, normal means manliness u gender traitor fag

      only pussies like pussies

      brostitutrefag

      bro before hoe u fucking cocktraitor scum

      u muff fuck like animals not like men, homosexuality is what differs humans from animals

      hetero sapiens doesnt exist

      why dont u fuck pigs if u like diversity, HETEROSEXUALITY DESTROYS GENDER LIKE MULTICULTURALISM DSETROYS HERITAGE

      GTFO FAG

    • Rachel Wray

      lmao. this article is so dumb! love joshua’s response..couldn’t have said it better

  • Madman

    Wash yo ass For BACTERIAL Guys wash your hands and nails before you insert into her yeast infections.Hiv is given to you by the damn doctor the magic words HOW MANY PARTNERS YOU HAVE HAD “Why Ask “? To give you something on your sex numbers they won’t admit it just Give blood or tests. Animals fuck all the time different partners why dont they get aids. Government they determine population control Government ran doctors. Aids HAS NO CURE beCAUSE BIG PHARMA WON’T GAIN Your CASH. Cure No Cash Cancer Cure no cash Cure The Was Criminalized. Its all FEAR FEAR Comin Get Checked “YOU NEVER” KnoW

    • Tyler McCracken

      Sensible advice turned into a nonsensical rant. I think a little big pharma could do you some good, my friend.

  • PhantomReturner

    Haha! I love this!

  • Dodododo

    But I like how it tastes!

  • patriot156

    guess we still disagree lol. I love eating pussy!

  • Sensible

    Amazing what passes as worthwhile, intelligent, competent information. Why don’tbyou switch to sports reportingbwhere you will be among your brethren, incompetent, brain-dead “journalists” who have reached the oinacle of their accomplishments and who are qualified to do nothing else. You greatly overstate the chance of transmission of pathogens and their ‘fatal’ effects and your advice on managing a sexual relationship and dominance is, from the kind of an idiot.

  • Big Poppa

    Don’t be such a pussy!

  • Anthony J.

    I gotta straddle the fence on this one ,but if its true then Dykes are outta business/close shop! Just stay monogamous less chances taken. :)

  • Alex

    Actually, cunnilingus is quite a healthy practice, to provide a scientific and medical reason for one of its benefits; vaginal fluid contains lots of beneficial good bacteria that will help encourage and support ones overall health, immune system and wellbeing.

    • Robert Hackenberg

      and helps with beard growth. Look at my profile pic. I shaved this morning!

  • rshllvnn

    Number 8 and 9. Can you say, “douche”? -___-

  • Licker Lucky

    This person needs to get laid badly. He sounds very lonely and bitter. I’ll say let’s give him a juicy pussy sit on face and
    Teach him what love and intimacy is about.
    I am going out for an ice cream cone now !!!

  • lolguidos

    9 Reasons that this article should only be one page
    1)I’m not clicking through 9 different images because I’m too impatient
    2)All 9 of them could fit in one page
    3)I don’t care to actually make 9 reasons, but I do know they’re doing it for ad revenue

  • Justiceorbust

    This is exactly why this will never write for a real source… Or, ever have a real girlfriend.

  • Tyler McCracken

    Hideously stupid article, and written with an almost hateful tone to it. Calling cunnilingus emasculating? On that basis, fellatio is plain humiliating. Awesome double-standard there. You’re literally saying that giving in return the same attention you expect from a female partner makes you less of a man. Misogynist fuck. I hope you die alone.

    • Tyler McCracken

      Also, for all of your so-called “medical” points, the answer is simple: Sleep around less, know your partners’ sexual histories, and make sure hygiene standards are maintained (applies to both partners). If you don’t trust your partner to be honest about things like STD’s, and/or they aren’t keeping clean, you probably shouldn’t be sleeping with them in the first place.

      Case closed. This article was unnecessary and inflammatory. You’re a piss-poor writer and should find a new hobby. The nerve of whoever edits this page to file this disgraceful piece under the “health” section – unbelievable. Go fuck yourself, Noah; I’m sure you’re the only one who will.

    • lesbofag

      Love this. You’re amazing.

    • Frank Lee

      Exactly and well said. Here’s to hoping you get all the “unnatural” amount of stimulation you might want.

    • nixon

      Thankssss!!!!! Tyler McCracken !!! you are my hero

    • Name

      Also, to add to your magnificent post: buy a Dental Dam for heaven’s sake!

    • Noname

      you are just a hateful Lezzo bitches like you need to die!

    • QueChimba

      80% of adult women have HPV In all likelihood, you have it, as do I., There are 2 types, Hiv 20 AND 21 Which can lead to throat cancer. Less partners? How about a monogomous life relation without divorce?

    • Robert Hackenberg

      TM….what I took away from this is that women MUST wipe front to back and not vice versa. Everything else is bullshit.

    • SassyNP

      Well said!

    • Warrior4just

      your reaction is a typical female one…you reacted with emotions as opposed to reason. fk your standards if it hurt poeple….there are overwhelming data proving the risk of cunnilingus causing cancer in men….get over yourself because the world doesn’t revolve around women. If there is harm to the population fk your feelings, your memes, and your backward convictions. Misogynistic my d**k…
      isn’t tolerating what hurts men misandric ?

    • fr33kSh0w2012

      Yes Yes it is

    • jamilleChristman

      Your reaction is a typical idiot who can’t read reaction. The person you are talking to is a dude. Also the overwhelming data shows that women are more likely to get hpv from fellatio than the other way around….not that it would ever concern you since you would have to have had sex with a person who was actually alive in order to get an STD, judging from your winning personality I would say that is extremely improbable.

    • A Random Pirate

      Your reaction is a typical tumblr harpy reaction.

    • jamilleChristman

      That moment you go on a misogynist article to defend it as an indian popstar after women get killed and disemboweled from rape legally in that country. I don’t hang out on tumblr, but i am sure that is where you stole that image, tunaktunaktun.

    • Robert Hackenberg

      ladies, if you have a vagina that needs some oral, I volunteer for cancer.

    • Ashley Sweeney

      These health risks are same for girls, you little dickwaffle. Misandry is bullshit. This is blatantly putting men ahead of women, note the point about male dominance.

    • http://www.charmbomb.me/ P.J. Sparkle

      “your reaction is a typical female one” It was about not going down on FEMALES. And wouldn’t women who go down on women get the same problems?

      Why does the whole thing ignore the fact that men carry STIs as well?

      If this was just called, “No one should be putting their mouths on anyone?” That would be fine. No one would listen, because we’re human, and mouths are warm and nice, but it would at least be unbiased, and therefor, have a chance of being heard as more than just “anti pussy licking” Some of the information could be useful, but the bias is just too much.

    • HETEROSEXUALITY=GENDERTREASON

      worthless nigger piss ofshit

      heteroxxxeuality is disease and u must be beaten until u convert again to nature of own sex

      if u r heterosexual u must be treated with hormones, u worthless parasite scum

      heterosexuqality is perversion

      it destroys gender like multiculturalism destroysd natural culture

      we will kill u and ur fucking retard family gender traitor scum

      heterosexuality is mental disease and testosterone is the cure

      u worthless gender traitor fagy

      heterosexuals have no best friend thus they become gender traitor u retarded estrogen pusyfag

      homosexuality means permament homosociality, 100% manliness

      i will stab ur family scum

      gay means faggot aka unmanly = pussyfaggot heterosexual

      u arent manly for mansex, u have gender identity disorder so u cant stand testosterone, u arent normal, normal means manliness u gender traitor fag

      only pussies like pussies

      brostitutrefag

      bro before hoe u fucking cocktraitor scum

      u muff fuck like animals not like men, homosexuality is what differs humans from animals

      hetero sapiens doesnt exist

      why dont u fuck pigs if u like diversity, HETEROSEXUALITY DESTROYS GENDER LIKE MULTICULTURALISM DSETROYS HERITAGE

      GTFO FAG

    • noname

      No it’s Lesbians Like you who will die in a hole alone It’s Cunts Like you that invented circumcision you sick sluts! so men that got it done (Me included) would never know how awesome sex feels with a intact dick! poor fucks like me need sexual tools and stimulation of our prostates to try and get back what we lost human women are like you are DOGS!

    • Lukeanicich

      Women invented circumcision!!!!11! [citation needed]

    • notadisinfoagent

      “would never know how awesome sex feels with a intact dick” With your disgusting, shitty personality I’d be surprised if anybody would have sex with you. Male or female. Have fun jerkin’ off in your mom’s basement, psycho.

    • PirateHunt

      Circumcision was created by Religion, which was created by man. As an intactivist, this reply was only proven that you are just being very misogynistic ignoramus.

    • annie

      Nope. It’s a poe. It has to be.

    • Ashley Sweeney

      Old white dudes invented circumcision, dick.

    • Ivan Urkinuov

      A man is supposed to take what is his. Licking vagina is like licking the dressing from a salad and not eating it. What an emasculating waste. No real man eats pussy.

    • http://www.charmbomb.me/ P.J. Sparkle

      Come on….give it a shot.

    • A Random Pirate

      I agree with you but you need to calm down. It’s a stupid internet article, not an attack on gender equality. Pick your battles.

    • http://www.charmbomb.me/ P.J. Sparkle

      I duno man. it does say right there, females. Not males.

      Penis’s are gods perfect gift to the world, free of ability to carry sickness. As a matter of fact, a good dicking has many health benefits, regardless of the gender getting it!

    • HETEROSEXUALITY=GENDERTREASON

      worthless nigger piss ofshit

      heteroxxxeuality is disease and u must be beaten until u convert again to nature of own sex

      if u r heterosexual u must be treated with hormones, u worthless parasite scum

      heterosexuqality is perversion

      it destroys gender like multiculturalism destroysd natural culture

      we will kill u and ur fucking retard family gender traitor scum

      heterosexuality is mental disease and testosterone is the cure

      u worthless gender traitor fag

      heterosexuals have no best friend thus they become gender traitor u retarded estrogen pusyfag

      homosexuality means permament homosociality, 100% manliness

      i will stab ur family scum

      gay means faggot aka unmanly = pussyfaggot heterosexual

      u arent manly for mansex, u have gender identity disorder so u cant stand testosterone, u arent normal, normal means manliness u gender traitor fag

      only pussies like pussies

      brostitutrefag

      bro before hoe u fucking cocktraitor scum

      u muff fuck like animals not like men, homosexuality is what differs humans from animals

      hetero sapiens doesnt exist

      why dont u fuck pigs if u like diversity, HETEROSEXUALITY DESTROYS GENDER LIKE MULTICULTURALISM DSETROYS HERITAGE
      GTFO FAG

  • Suzy

    Absolutely ridiculous. The same could be said for going down on a guy. Oral sex period has risks I don’t deny that. I mean think about it. It might not be your cup of tea but you don’t have to drink it. You probably weren’t even good at it. But don’t be surprised if no one ever goes down on you again or has sex with you again. Couples should be able to please each other if they do choose. But you are just being sexist. Seriously one of your reasons was that it ruins the male’s dominence are you kidding me. But there is always your hand but remember to wash your hands.

  • McFeel

    I’d like to read his follow-up article about how sucking cock has scientifically proven mystical healing properties and how it is actually good for a woman’s cardiovascular health, straightens and whitens teeth, fills cavities, slims hips and cures cancer (Michael Douglas should look into this). Let’s not forget how it erases wrinkles and brightens skin if applied directly to the face via the penis.
    I’m guessing this guy’s article is written tongue-in-cheek (the lower cheek), especially when reading #8 and #9. But if he’s serious, i think it’s because he’s writing this from a poppy field in Afghanistan.

    • Aphra Behn

      That was awesome.

    • urbanrocker

      Ah, this is the greatest thing I’ve read all week.

    • SassyNP

      If you mean LOL funny, then I agree. if you’re serious, you need to read more often……

    • TheWiz

      Yea this 9 reasons crap is totally stupid and biased. Im male and I will never perform cunnilungus (she would have to be real special) for 3 reasons. If I was female though I probably would perform felactio (Its cleaner) but no swallowing. Here are my reasons lets assume aids/hiv doesn’t exsist Reason 1: Sometimes its Discharge which contains white pasty or sometimes even blood (not okay) 2. Sometimes its Secretion (Which is ok) the womens natural lubaricant that contains carbohydrates, amino acids, proteins, (which is also good). 3. Its hard to tell if its Secretions (which is good) or Discharge (Which can be anything the self cleaning process is never really clean) Its a 50/50 you don’t know what your going to get. Heres why I said fellicio is cleaner yea yea precum will occur (ew not clean) but your basically sucking skin (Like a finger without a bone.) and if your safe you might be able to dodge the bodily fluid called sperm. But if your performing Cunnilingus your throwing yourself into the battlefield its like diving into an ocean or drinking water like a dog your accepting all bodily fluids. You can dodge nothing

    • MissGongChae

      this is just idiotic.

    • EmAr

      Are you serious? You really think women don’t clean their vaginas, ever? Is this because you never clean your dick, and you just assume women are the same? Aside from that, have you ever looked at your WHITE, PASTY CUM? Come on dude, it’ s thicker because the vagina is less moist during that phase of the menstrual cycle- like when cum starts to dry and gets thicker. It’s the same. Fucking. Thing.

      Aside from that, I don’t know exactly what you mean by “unclean”. If you mean, there might be bacteria in those body fluids, then yeah, they would be “unclean”. And I guess that means you’re never going to make-out with a woman again, because her mouth is full of bacteria. Or kiss her skin, because it’s covered in bacteria. Or come in to contact with her, because WE ARE ALL COVERED IN BACTERIA, INSIDE AND OUT, ALL THE TIME. The human body has 10 times the bacterial cells are human cells. Look it up.

      If you’re going to ask a woman to suck your cock, you ought to be prepared to suck her clit. Besides, you might find you like it once you try it- a lot of men do. Especially grown men, who’ve tried a thing or a thousand and realize that the smell of a woman’s hot, wet, hungry pussy is hotter than hell.

    • Gert

      Yes, what EmAr said. If I don’t go down, I’m not expecting to get a blowjob anytime soon, and I love blowjobs. But even aside from a “fair is fair” idea, I do, as a man, enjoy burying my face in my girlfriend’s crotch. It smells amazing, tastes amazing, and it gets her more than ready for my dick. It’s the 21st century, a guy doesn’t have to use his dick on his woman whenever he’s in the mood, I’m easily the dominant person in my relationship and I do what it takes to sexually please my girlfriend and I always go down. The better it is, overall, for her, the more she texts me at work to let me know she’s craving me. In other words, I get pounced on by a horny she-lion that wants to love me until I can’t take anymore, and cunnilingus only increases the amount that that happens. Another note is that I took my girlfriend’s virginity and I’m the only one that’s done anything down there, plus she’s very hygienic and showers twice per day. A lot of these 9 involve a promiscuous and rather nasty girl. So, no, I will definitely not be joining you in this, I am pro-cunnilingus.

    • Happywithmyhubby

      Ur my hero! That’s awesome! Ur absolutely right in every aspect!

    • Jocko

      Dude. You won’t suck lists because you can’t spell FELLATIO.

    • Milania

      lmfao ahahahahaha great response!!!!

    • Xor

      Everything except #8 and #9 is pretty spot on though.

    • Artemis

      Don’t kid yourself, buddy. Number six is bullshit, too. Ever heard of a clitoral vibrator? They’re more pleasing than a man, which should be motivation enough for men to provide more direct clit stimulation.
      During fetal development, the clitoris is what would have become a penis during the sexed developmental stages. How would you like someone telling you that one of your MAIN SEXUAL ORGANS, THE ONE FROM WHICH YOU DERIVE THE MOST PLEASURE, SHOULDNT RECEIVE STIMULATION DURING SEX BECAUSE OF IT’S PLACEMENT?

    • Xor

      Looking back yeah, I was pretty ambivalent about the article but 6 actually gives away the obvious misogyny. It’s like arguing men are inferior because they have external genitals that aren’t as well protected or something.

    • Raucus

      I laughed so hard.

    • SweetD

      Amen to that!

    • SassyNP

      Agreed…the guy’s nuts! Always do your own research. I’m in medicine, and I can tell you that you can enjoy each other orally and not risk your life. Just be smart. This guy is going to miss out on a lot of joy. Really??? Women have to turn to women just for joy, sex, and pleasure.

    • LadyO

      Yeah, I want to see that article too! lol

    • Thinker

      Best laugh in a month. TY

    • HETEROSEXUALITY=GENDERTREASON

      worthless nigger piss ofshit

      heteroxxxeuality is disease and u must be beaten until u convert again to nature of own sex

      if u r heterosexual u must be treated with hormones, u worthless parasite scum

      heterosexuqality is perversion

      it destroys gender like multiculturalism destroysd natural culture

      we will kill u and ur fucking retard family gender traitor scum

      heterosexuality is mental disease and testosterone is the cure

      u worthless gender traitor fag

      heterosexuals have no best friend thus they become gender traitor u retarded estrogen pusyfag

      homosexuality means permament homosociality, 100% manliness

      i will stab ur family scum

      gay means faggot aka unmanly = pussyfaggot heterosexual

      u arent manly for mansex, u have gender identity disorder so u cant stand testosterone, u arent normal, normal means manliness u gender traitor fag

      only pussies like pussies

      brostitutrefag

      bro before hoe u fucking cocktraitor scum

      u muff fuck like animals not like men, homosexuality is what differs humans from animals

      hetero sapiens doesnt exist

      why dont u fuck pigs if u like diversity, HETEROSEXUALITY DESTROYS GENDER LIKE MULTICULTURALISM DSETROYS HERITAGE

      GTFO FAGx

  • Durr

    Lmfao. This is absurd. Btw, marijuana is not a gateway drug.

  • Tony

    This MF is gay as hell…SMH

  • Talia Gamble

    Dude, screw off, my husband and I are very oral beings, and let me tell you. He has a magic tongue and iron clad immune system. Your cute attempt at double standard misogyny has made me giggle today…

  • bob

    Did the author get an English 101 assignment to write about things he avoids? “Repetitious and silly. You get a D minus Mr Gulliver. Next time pick a serious topic or drop the class.”

  • M

    You are an ignorant, lazy in the sac A-Hole!

  • Carlos Dangerous

    10) Just plain stinks.

  • lesbofag

    if you day men shouldn’t eat pussy because of possible diseases, then same goes for women sucking dick because of diseases. please, leave and take your misogyny with you

  • Sue

    “A successful relationship between a man and a woman features the man in the dominant role” Jesus christ is this the 1950′s? Not only is a horrifically mysogonistic article it’s also incredibly homophobic.

    • Warrior4just

      why is it …when people speak fact..for some reason the perpetuated political correctness is found its way to the justification people make. Men are the dominant..sexually or otherwise..the fact that is you don’t hear does not mean it isn’t the state of affairs in nature. 50′s or 90′s…
      Get over your motherf***ng self

    • fr33kSh0w2012

      agreed!

    • Ashley Sweeney

      I am subservient to no one. Why do males have any right to control me? What ordained biological right makes me the lesser?

    • Ivan Urkinuov

      It’s also natural, Sue. Homosexuality does not procreate the race. A man is the boss of the woman, she should either submit or face clitoridectomy.

    • HETEROSEXUALITY=GENDERTREASON

      worthless nigger piss ofshit

      heteroxxxeuality is disease and u must be beaten until u convert again to nature of own sex

      if u r heterosexual u must be treated with hormones, u worthless parasite scum

      heterosexuqality is perversion

      it destroys gender like multiculturalism destroysd natural culture

      we will kill u and ur fucking retard family gender traitor scum

      heterosexuality is mental disease and testosterone is the cure

      u worthless gender traitor fag

      heterosexuals have no best friend thus they become gender traitor u retarded estrogen pusyfag

      homosexuality means permament homosociality, 100% manliness

      i will stab ur family scum

      gay means faggot aka unmanly = pussyfaggot heterosexual

      u arent manly for mansex, u have gender identity disorder so u cant stand testosterone, u arent normal, normal means manliness u gender traitor fag

      only pussies like pussies

      brostitutrefag

      bro before hoe u fucking cocktraitor scum

      u muff fuck like animals not like men, homosexuality is what differs humans from animals

      hetero sapiens doesnt exist

      why dont u fuck pigs if u like diversity, HETEROSEXUALITY DESTROYS GENDER LIKE MULTICULTURALISM DSETROYS HERITAGE

      GTFO FAG

    • kizzy

      How is that statement homophobic? It’s sexist. But I don’t see homophobia in that statement.

  • Gumfriend

    I think this guy really got screwed over by some chick who he used to give a lot of oral pleasure to once. Now he wants to ruin it for all of us.

  • Mark Emilio Fleener

    So a woman can’t fall in love with all of me? Noah Gulliver, are you for real?

  • gaby

    Diseases, bacteria? Same goes for woman doing oral sex to man. or in his twisted mind that’s different? What a loser! And he is worried about his dominance! Ha-ha

  • JDTurkPerry

    I had the “Michael Douglas” cancer. It’s been over two years since it’s been gone, but because of the radiation treatment I had my saliva glands are damaged for life. I didn’t have insurance at the time so treatment cost me over $50,000 out-of-pocket till I was able to get coverage. Will I go down on a woman again, probably. But, it’s going to be someone I’m in a long-term relationship with (not that that matters as far as getting the HPV virus).

  • dough

    80% of this shit makes no sense… you sir are an idiot.

  • Geebee

    I would like to punch this author in his face right after I knee him in the balls. Cunnilingus is only emasculating for men who aren’t secure in their own skin and their own sexuality. It is entirely up to the individual practicing at hand and should in no way be generalized to the mass public. Furthermore, not every woman would be willing to let a woman do it to her. Unless she is sexually charged by women in her everyday life, she will most likely stick with men. Sure there are women who like to get off to both genders, but the reasons never include “because a man went down on her”. I cannot say any of this for certain, because everyone is different and circumstances vary, but nonetheless this author needs a serious reality check.

    In response to hygiene: OK, this is a big deal, but there are a number of ways to perform cunnilingus safely. Always proceed with caution, and ask your partner if there is anything in particular to be concerned over. Otherwise, indulge and enjoy it!

  • sheena

    hey then wat abt a man he uses his thing to both urinate as well as cum…if a man wants d woman to do it so should man to woman……i agree seriously wit marco….

  • frank sinatra

    i stopped reading after number 4; hell, i would never want anymore trim the way this story is unfolding…

  • Chris

    Wow this is such a bullshit article. I’ll risk the diseases. Most girls love it and I love to do it. I was kinda like ok what ever, but the part about losing dominance because were on our knees what a load of bullshit

  • MikeJ2

    Either this article is totally a put-on, or else it’s a clumsy way of pushing a rightwing religious agenda, which climaxes in points 8 and 9. Everything has a risk level, including walking outside. The article has zero numbers on statistics, probability of catching an illness, etc.

  • Courtney

    Haha! This article is actually funny to me! So when is this douche’ bag going to post an article about how giving blow jobs is unhealthy to us women?! I bet he’s not going to at all! He’s a sexist pompous asshole who apparently has never been laid in his life! Period! Gtfoh with all that nonsense! What does he have against women & us getting pleasured in the first place is what I’m trying to figure out! I can’t believe such propaganda was even allowed by the editor of this site to be published! This is ridiculous!

  • dick

    wow, this guy must really be bad at oral sex. besides if a woman is shitting out typhoid there is probably something worse wrong with her.

  • rwagg

    Never dated a woman that expected this disgusting practice nor sought it.

  • iLickVaginaAllTheFuckingTime

    Did the friggin Pope commission you to write this article, Mr. Noah Gullible? This one reeks of vagina hate, to me. It’s got flaws in every argument and the guy is definitely insecure about his woman, if at all he is straight. Next time you wanna write something as shitty as this, don’t forget to disable commenting.

  • OpedAnderson

    Long live The Cunning Linguists!

  • Bart

    I had never read so much bullshit in my life…”A successful relationship between a man and a woman features the man in
    the dominant role. That dominance is lost the moment a male gets on his
    knees to bow before his female and perform oral sex”

    The stupidity of this troll is world class

    Read more: http://www.everyjoe.com/2013/07/23/health/men-should-never-perform-cunnilingus/#ixzz2b7NK1cuz

  • marj

    I’m going to take the high road and assume this article was written as a provocation only. If written for any other reason, I suggest a therapist. And soon.

  • Wesley

    wtf kind of bull shit did i just read… i feel like this is a black guy who wrote this

  • deejay sleets

    lol really?? sooo maybe you tried to eat it before that’s if your not GAY! I shall say she told you “hey what you doing down there? im dry as the damn Arizona heat, bad experience will make you write something like this rubbish here! couldn’t even give us 10 reason only 9? oo man this is bs! not saying it isn’t true though….

  • Jax

    I hope this is a joke. Makes me think the OP/Author just got jumped.

    Some folks like it some don’t

  • RiverS

    Holy sexism, ladies and gentlemen. I’ve never read an article with so much nonsense in all my life (that wasn’t a parody, anyway). Many of these things can be avoided with trust, proper hygiene, and safer sex materials. Condoms can be turned into dental dams to avoid any bacterias from entering the mouth, and I think that cunnilingus is just fine! Hell, some women prefer it during foreplay, so what’s the problem? Spicing things up in the bedroom (or wherever you have it) isn’t so bad. Emasculating? Really?! I know I lot of guys who pride themselves on what they can do with their tongue.

  • parroteyes

    This writer is a complete idiot. Items 1-4 can be addressed with simple prophylactics (dental dams) for health concerns — fecal matter is not present if everyone, um, y’know, bathes and prepares appropriately for sex . . . (what are you, 12??) and, NO – “biological material” (read: semen) does NOT “get in there anyway” if a condom is used, that’s the whole friggin’ point of using a condom. Candidiasis is not fatal (unless you are an idiot and don’t get it treated.) The other assertions are just ridiculous. Assuming your gf is automatically cheating/a lesbian/only interested in your tongue. Whaat?

    Dude, if you’re not into oral, just man up and own that it’s not your thing. I know a lot of guys find it hard to believe, but plenty of women don’t care to receive it either. (Of course men never believe this and have to say, “Well, there must be something wrong with you.” NO – some people don’t like it the way some people don’t like spaghetti or watching golf on television. It’s no more complicated than that . . . either for women or for men who don’t care about cunnilingus.

    Stop with the BS non-science non-explanations. There is enough bad info out there and safe sex is too important to screw it up with more bad info. Your editor should fire you.

  • Frank Lee

    WTF? I thought this might be satire, but after reading the whole thing , I don’t know.

    Sometimes you have to take some risks Noah, and well, this is one of those times. I’m not saying do it on the first date, but once you know her and have come to the mutual understanding you are both clean, go for it. Despite what your Mom might have told you, not all girls have the cooties

    An inch from the anus? Well ok, then slide back for a little rim job – odds are she should like that too. (Yea, post shower dude, it’s fine.)

    “The amount of stimulation cunnilingus provides is unnatural.” Well, that might be true … awesome, ain’t it? My suspicion is that most women enjoy an unnatural amount of stimulation now and then. I know I like driving her wild and getting her dripping wet from the pleasure.

    “A successful relationship between a man and a woman features the man in the dominant role.” That is one incredible statement – is it out of the bible or did you find it in the 1950′s?

    What’s the deal about the women straying and turning lesbian? That’s just plain bizarre. I’m wondering if that’s what made you so bitter toward women and confused about sex.

  • Pearl Castillo

    All the same goes for a woman performing fallacio on a man, the SAME DISEASES. Health 101 bish*

  • bob

    Can’t the same thing be said of a woman sucking on a penis or a gay man sucking on a penis? I’ve never heard such nonsense…Sex is a pleasurable act and all aspects of this should be explored. I’m continuing my attack on all the vaginas I can!!!!

  • cruizerdave

    That’s the dumbest, most sexist thing I’ve read all day. And I accidentally logged on to Fox News!

  • Alma

    any relationship promiscuous always proceeds to a fatal risk but keeping your partner and take care of each other does not have to involve a danger! unless you’re a womanizer or a prostitute then if I understand, safe sex means having a partner you trust and have the unlimited pleasure! if you do not want to have danger just practice safe sex even if they want to have a serious relationship

  • Jarred

    This guy is as dumb as a sack of hammers. I think if a man wants a woman to go down on him, he absolutely has to go down on her (unless she doesn’t like it, which as a few have said, is uncommon). As for some of the “Reasons”… If the girl has an STD or Yeast infection…… Why the fuck would you be doing anything sexual with her anyway. I mean, if a guy’s penis smelled like bread, do you think any woman would go near it? Nope. That’s just common sense. And the closet lesbian thing is ridiculous. A good woman will fall in love with a man for the things he can BE FOR HER, not DO TO HER… Those, are just the perks. The tongue is one thing, but any woman will tell you that a vibrator or a dildo can’t match what the real thing can do (size notwithstanding). If this guy HAS a girlfriend of wife, I feel so sorry for her.

  • bud

    Sounds like the author has some emotional and maybe even mental problems.

    • Were Rabbit

      sounds like everyone is perverted

  • Big Richard Johnson

    I’d agree with this guy…if I were going down on the dirty crack whore he’s describing! The fact is, never go down on a broad on a one night stand and not until she’s washed her shit down in a tub! I’ll go down on my wife or girlfriend, never on a girl I hardly know.

  • http://www.blomlaw.co.nz/ John Cox

    What about abstaining from all unnatural sexual acts – with men and women – and sexual activity out of marriage?

    • stee

      nah…

    • Were Rabbit

      sex outside of reproduction is perverted

  • http://www.kendrasuniquestyle.blogspot.com/ Kendra Richards

    Talk about exaggeration! “Deadly case of candidiasis.” Yea… I’ve lived with Candida IBS & endometriosis for half my life and it’s not deadly. WTF? The author is clearly uneducated and did not check HIS facts. Number two, it’s written as if only women get HIV/AIDs and only women can transfer it to their male partner if the male gives them oral sex. That was just ignorant and this kind of spreads misinformation, so I totally lack all respect for both the author and this entire ignorant website. It should’ve discussed the dangers of oral sex for BOTH parties instead of portraying it as if women are the only ones who can give these diseases/infections. P.S. if a woman has a yeast infection, why the hell would the couple be engaging in sex/oral sex anyways? Did you not know that men can get yeast infections too, not only women? And they too can transfer them to other people? Oh, and please do cite your sources for your (mostly) misinformation! Where’s the studies and research/facts about the cancer from performing oral sex on a woman? And you’d better hope that it turns out that only women can give this cancer and not men or else you’ve really lost respect and trust from your readers because you made it sound solely like a cancer that comes only from oral sex on a woman.

  • http://www.kendrasuniquestyle.blogspot.com/ Kendra Richards

    “Deadly oral candidiasis?” That’s not deadly. IDIOTS!

  • http://www.kendrasuniquestyle.blogspot.com/ Kendra Richards

    And who the heck are you to say how much stimulation a clitoris is “meant to receive?” Wow. You are not a woman, don’t have female genatalia. If you are so extremely against oral, don’t do it, but why spread misinformation to others in hopes of getting everyone else to follow your rules? Don’t. Just don’t spread information about a body part that you do not own and clearly know nothing about. Sounds like you’re terribly jealous that we have a body part that can be stimulated by something other than your penis. Get over yourself. (To the author.) My rant shall now be over. Sorry guys!

  • Guest

    This is now the dumbest article I have read this week.

  • kim

    This article is B.S!! Think about it: If the penis was meant to receive that much direct stimulation through oral sex, Mother Nature would have placed it in his mouth.

  • Rachael

    This has got to be a satire or trolling. There is no way this guy is serious.

  • Sam

    This has to be a joke. Tounge-in-cheek, perhaps? :-)
    On a serious note, regarding health concerns, use a dental dam if it’s outside of a monogamous relationship.

  • Alice

    According to this guy, probably all kind of physical contact is unsanitary. Let’s not even talk about sex! Ew…

    Also… what’s this stereotype? It’s the reasons why ‘men’ shouldn’t go down on a woman… So, I’m guessing as a woman, I’m immune. Cool. :P

    I’d like to see the reverse article. Oooh, even better. The one about rimming. Oo

  • Notalesbianyet

    wow this is such a load of shit!!!! my fiance loves going down on me and its caused us no problems! also my fiance just went down n me then yelled ‘yay im a lesbian now’ lol!!!!!! congrats noah you just wrote the biggest load of tripe in the history of the written word!!!!

  • Mike

    Obviously written by someone who lacks the magic tongue

  • Noah is a faggot

    This is the most ignorant and uniformed piece of writing I have read in a long time. And I have read some serious bullshit…..also you’re a faggot.

  • Noah is a faggot

    This is the most ignorant and uniformed piece of writing I have read in a long time. And I have read some serious bullshit…..also you’re a faggot.

  • Ruckers

    All I’m seeing is “women spread diseases.” FYI, men can give women diseases too. So where’s your “article” on that?

  • Wow. Just wow.

    I’m sorry, this has got to be the dumbest article I’ve read in a really long time. Almost all of these things can go the other way too, as to why fellatio should be performed, however, some of these reasons are just plain misinformed. Women don’t fall in love with a tongue or a penis. Do you fall in love with a vagina? Your hand?

  • locqq

    @ lovernofighter are u like 12 or something?? If over 18 I would like to know where u are located. Only a handful of girls like that! I dont like that crap either so chat me up, sweetms!! Haha

  • Damara Megido

    If you wanna avoid STDs then how about you use protection you dumbass?

  • asdfg

    Girls Can catch stuff from guys all the same….and the whole fecal matter travels that short distance cmon,,,,wipe front to back…duh… normals girl get a yearly doctor and dont sleep around till they catch something..this whole this is for dirty hoes

  • Susan34

    It’s amazing but a man’s dick is close to his asshole as well so fecal matter is on it too. Men can have std’s so be careful of passing that love on. As for Noah, you must hate women, but that’s okay because I bet most hate you as well schmuck!! I think Noah has been neutered by a female and it pisses him off.

  • grant L

    Because it’s potentially unclean in nasty MAN !! My first time down under was with a woman that had a smell that was so bad it wood kill frogs,I didn’t know what it was suppose to smell like,later she had me pick crabs from the area.When I was much older I knew a woman that had juices that where so strong,it made my teeth hurt…Need I go on?

    • Angie Goodnight

      That is no more and no less than a lack of cleanliness. A vulva can a have a strong musky scent, but it is an aphrodisiac and if you don;t enjoy it she is either dirty and has not washed the smegma from under her hood and from between the folds of her labia. or you are gay. One or the other.

  • grant L

    I have to agree with you on the # 8 reason.

  • grant L

    Your right, All we men need is to be skilled with big willy and our fingers,if they want head tell her to call over her girl friend then bend them both over,But don’t climax before she has at least 3 or 4 times.

  • grant L

    That’s why Ms Bullock lift Mr James…She wouldn’t do him.

  • Were Rabbit

    If you are not making babies then, your are into cheap thrills, perverts.

    • Mr.insight

      Are you serious i really want to know because if you are then please go join up with the person who wrote this and STFU your a idiot plain and simple you must be just as perverted as the rest of us to be at this article the man who wrote this made his point that he hates going down by stating obvious risks and false information your woman isn’t going to levee you for a woman if she likes being licked if she was she would have already if she did leave its because you can’t get it up and she does not have a emotional bond with you don’t blame oral sex for a failed relationship blame your inability to see and value equality

  • JJ MummyBunny Burton

    Yes, because every woman is a disease ridden idiot who can’t wipe her own backside properly and falls in love with a tongue….

    This whole article is absolutely ridiculous.

    1: Your first five reasons are pretty much disease, infection, disease. You’re an idiot if you think that penetration doesn’t run the same risks. You can contract an STD aswell as a yeast infection through penetration, as can a woman from a man.

    2: The suggestion of fecal matter is also present in a male, just because there is not an opening in the same substance as a female, does not mean that traces still can’t be left. Although the likelihood is slim as presumabley most people ACTUALLY clean themselves properly.

    3: FALL IN LOVE WITH YOUR TONGUE?!!! Are you kidding me?! What world do you live in?!
    - we generally fall in love with a PERSON and if a man OR a woman are only not straying because of oral/sex then that quite probably means that they DONT love the person they are with, especially not their tongue!

    4: As for dominance being lost, maybe you experienced that as you are certainly no man, but I can assure you, men are not at the mercy of a woman when performing oral, it is quite the opposite. Clearly you’ve not been doing it right, or at all.

    I suggest you go back to your germophobic sandbox and put your keyboard away.

    From a very amused woman.

  • grant L

    This is a thought that came to me,just think of the Kobe Bryant case when he was accused of rape of a hotel worker,guess what they found in her panties?
    Now that’s reel nasty.

  • Toona

    As stupid and anti clitoris this thoughtless misogynist is, STD’s are always a risk weather it’s oral sex or not with either gender. Only a retard would this “article” seriously. It should treated an poorly done unfunny portray.

  • Toona

    “The amount of stimulation cunnilingus provides is unnatural.”

    Because nature is just that dumb to create a sex organ that shouldn’t be there. What a load of shit that is.

    “A successful relationship between a man and a woman features the man in the dominant role. That dominance is lost the moment a male gets on his knees to bow before his female and perform oral sex.”

    I think it’s deliciously dominant for a man to do that for a woman since he’s still giving her pleasure. What a pussy you are.

  • MaX Mpesiris

    AAaarrgghh!!!

    My poor head….

    Where do I even start?

    1. Ok, I don’t know all that much about the HPV virus, but just like with all sexually transmitted diseases, you can always avoid it!

    Always take your examinations!

    Besides, sex is always dangerous!

    There is always a small amount of danger, no matter how careful you are!

    I don’t see why you mention only cunnilingus!

    2. Yeah, same thing!

    Take examinations!

    Watch yourself!

    3. You don’t say!?!

    4. Yeah, that’s why you should wash yourself properly!

    And again, there is always a small amount of danger, even with regular sex!

    5. And that’s why you shouldn’t go with every woman that gives you a wink!

    Stick with partners you trust!

    6. Yeah……..and???

    Nature won’t tell me what I do in bed!

    7. If your partner likes you only for your oral skills or your penis, then either you are doing something wrong or you should rethink your relationship!

    8. There are so many wrong things with this statement!

    First of all, when you go down on your partner, you are the one in control!

    You decide what happens to his/her parts and what parts will be pleasured and how much!

    Even if that wasn’t the case….

    What’s wrong with submitting for the sake of pleasuring the one you care for?

    Not to mention how misogynistic your statement is!

    9. That’s a myth!

    Lesbians exist because women understand each other easier and better!

    Before worrying about diseases, and homosexuals, and dominance, and cheating, etc., people should focus more on understanding their partner’s feelings and body, and improving their own selves and skills!

    Do these things and not only you won’t have to worry about homosexuals or your partner cheating on you, but life will look so much better for everyone!

  • Occu Bagger

    This full out “War on Pussy Pleasure.” What are you going to do next, give the pussy a good tongue lashing?

  • Gigi

    First off, you don’t go down on anyone unless you’re positively certain that he/she has a clean bill of health. Second, you don’t go down on a woman at her whim. There has a to be a mutual agreement. And lastly, if you have comfort issues with it’s proximity to the ass, there’s a reason why showers were invented.

  • loida dominguez

    Totally depends on the couple. Both of them will just have to be honest about their health and their point of view about the act.

  • tsktsk

    Sometimes they want it, sometimes they don’t. But if you really don’t want to be infected by any kind of pussy-related diseases, then let her know and ask her if she is infectious.

  • Steve

    Funny, but true. The author is merely pointing out the risks involved when you’re going down on your woman.

  • Am I a Dog’s head

    This dominant art,has been used against the interests of a sincere infinitly lasting relationship. Also, I might add,it has been used as a measure to control the woman’s feelings of guilt,and CREATE a paranoia, sometimes maybe to prevent infedility,
    but I seriously understand better,,,,,this cursed act, has since bygone days, brought nothing ,BUT INFEDILITY,,and cases of anger,,manipulation, deceit, and a real reason to leave any woman,,,,,,”",becawse now she gave it all to me ,so now I must convince myself of my male superiority, and her sinful lust that lead me to commit this gorss act ,on myself, YES,,now ,,,,I must find a real woman,,,, one that doesn’t practice this.”"
    Or the other extreme possibility,,,,,where a woman “”who is a harlot at heart”" must of nessesity bring her male companion,,,,,into this sinful artful course,,,,,,,becawse she wants him to know exactly everything he will miss,,,,,,if HE LEAVES HER. He will never
    find this kind of ectasy unless he performs this act.Or yt anther extremist view,,could be
    that of the woman,,,,,really dering this,,,,and all for the selfish reasons she must have,
    I am a forensic writer,,,,,and I see this all the time,,,,,,,it does not mean I judge anyone at all!!!!,,,,,becawse this is only something you enjoy WITH A STATE OF MIND,,,,,,and the
    ecstasy involved is extremely erotic,,,,,there is not a shred of intelligence in it,,,,,,,,,,,,
    becawse it may be the woman in question wants to ARM another woman,,,,,,while the community also will enjoy the sport in time involved ,,,,,,,alltoghether a DEMONIC practice,,that usually but not allways starts,,,,,,,,with a jealous partner.
    And the reasons left as numerous,,,,,and whatever reason you are now aware of also,
    is suitable for a witness.It is really all about THE STATE OF THE HEART OF BOTH PARTNERS.

  • goatshapeddemon@live.ca

    Please read in your bible,,,,,,
    ,,,,,,2 Kings 18:26,27 and the next Bible Book of——– Isaiah 36:12.
    All these make reference to eating excrement and drinking urine,,,,,,,this is tantamount to
    anal sex and oral sex.
    A further reason to abstain,,,,,,,,if not for health reasons,,,,,,,,,then for conscientious reasons,,,,,,,,becawse bible knowledge,,,,,,,,,,will develop in anyone a conscience,,,,,,
    this must be trained in the right direction from the day you are born,,,,,,,.
    Finally Galatians 5:24,25.

  • Alan Feierstein

    cunnilingus is good and I think it will be good for many people…I’m glad I entered this testing theory.

  • Cinnamon

    I was just looking for some information to help someone,,,,,,,so I will now involve myself
    in writing,,,,,,,and write about some facts regarding equality of the female and the male,,,,,,so that this degrading fact of superiority is thoroughly understood,,,,,,,,and this
    goat demon practice is brought to an end,,,,,,,,@ least in understanding,,,,,,,this is so Demonic,,,,,so Demonic,,,,,,that I would have to venture and write about the deep things of Satan,,,that will be taken care of in my book,,,,,,,,a book of Forensic studies about the
    beginning of community living from times immemorial,,,,,,or Summeria,,,,,,to start with,,,,this practice is from an EXTREMELY ARROGANT COCKY DOMINANT frame of mind from the man,,,,,who is supposed to have respect for the woman,,,,,,,,and the woman also have respect for the man,,,,,,but the reality that has shed its light has been a DARK light,,,,,,,the Bible mentions Male Temple Prostitutes ,,and Female Temple Prostitutes,,,,,,,in 14 books of the Old Testament only,,it is ,,,not mentioned @ all in the New Testament,,,,,,,,,these practices then would constitute then an integral deep seated part of the human frame of mind as well as his inclinations and the heart of the man or woman ,,,,,,,,THIS SYMBOLIC HEART is situated in the LIMBIC part of the brain,,,,,,,where
    the Emotions Short term memory and Behaviour succeed,,,,,,,and complement the actions ,,,,,,,,,,,,in the Bible the Heart ,,,is given extreme importance and application is expected and demanded,,,,in fact it is a command,,,,,,,,,you are invited to read the Bible yourself,,,,,,and find out exactly what the mind and heart was supposed to think and feel,,,from the beginning.
    Instead OF THIS FALLEN DEMONIC FLESHLY SICKENING SELFISH ACT,,,selfish becawse it will be using the woman @ all times and will convince himself of HIS ARROGANT MALE SUPERIORITY,,,,,,and HIS RIGHT TO DO WHAT HIS OTHER MALE COMPANIONS WILL ALSO APPROVE,,,,,,THIS HAS BEEN A prayerful practice from time immemorial and a mindset,,,,,,,this can be changed,,,,,,,but it will take individual efforts to do this.
    In conclusion, the Mind and the Heart then are found in all of us,,,,,,,,,but the actions will differ constantly,,,,,,,for all the reasons in the Kosmos we already know about,,,,,you change your HEART ,,,,when you change your mind ,it is as simple as that. Nobody taught me that, I learned it through much studies,,,,,,,,which brings me to my book,,,,,,,my book also has been plagiarized,,,,,,,and some of my ideas have been plaigiarized,,,,,and this can only come from a Jealous Heart and mind.
    Hope this helps some to see a balance in goat shaped demon practices.

  • nixon

    First about “emasculating, become lesbi, only men pleasure is good sex, blablabla” are IDIOT statement from author’s one side opinion.

    If there’s a men that love to go down for women and the women also enjoy it so its their choice you can’t forced your standard…

    And i think the real good sex are when both men & women perform and received oral sex to each other it’s a simbiosis mutualisme (win-win solution) and matter of equality.

    Cunnlilingus have a good sensation too not only blowjob so get rid off your double standard and sexist statement!!!

  • headuphigh

    hey u idiots should respect this guys advice..because everything he just said makes alot more sense than you fools that swish your tongue around in girls holes…
    and you dont have to go down on a woman so she can go down on you…unless your an idiot whose that desperate…

    • Angie Goodnight

      Fanatics always make sense to idiots. That is why people carry suicide bombs and believe in non entities in the heavens. In the cold light of day the author is talking through a hole in his penis!

  • Brevity, Brevity, Brevity

    Both partners should floss, brush, rinse and gargle with antiseptic mouthwash before sex? And shower also.

    “A typical human mouth contains billions of bacteria. If you haven’t brushed your teeth lately, you might well have more bacteria in your mouth right now than there are people living on planet Earth. Scientists have identified more than 700 different species of mouth-dwelling microbes.”

    Source: WebMD

    Germs Quiz: What Lives in Your Mouth?

  • dr. feelgood

    this guy simply hates pussy. TO HIM he only thinks a pussy is her FRONT ASSHOLE. LOL!!!!! Join forces to put an end to it…..bite your tongue!!!! Go suck a dick you gay sob. It sounds like that’s what you really love. And you want to ‘dominate’ your woman…alright now mr. caveman……you are the one who is vile and crazy in your thoughts not US!!

  • dr. feelgood

    oh, and one more thing I need to say after reading through some of the comments. You also must be not only secretly gay yourself but VERY RELIGIOUS!! Sex, and intimacy always carries risks but to me its worth the risk. GET THIS!! SEX doesn’t only mean intercourse. It means different things for different people. To me SEX IS CUNNILINGUS NOT INTERCOURSE ALWAYS. I don’t care for a blowjob, but its fine with me if she wants to. What is all of this male belief about your dick being everything and KING?? Nothing wrong with the tongue being KING. And I’m not in the slightest worried about her becoming a lesbian…hey, the more women the better. As for women who do not want to be licked….I’ve run across a few I’m sorry and horrified to say, but that’s their choice….I’ll never know why. Luckily, most love cunnilingus!!!YES YES

  • Dicklaus

    I completely agree Good Man. I feel like I’m licking some bloody urine sweaty salty fishy tomahawk wound. I’d rather lick my own ass, at least it doesnt do half the nasty things the vagina does like bleed and excrete fishly characteristics.

    • Angie Goodnight

      Does she not wash then? The vulva is very clean. It it wasn’t it would irritate and she would get ill I would recommend that you both buy an ebook by Andy Macbeth and Jane Tothree called Oral Sex Orgasms. Part of it tells you about hygiene. If you taste urine or a fishy taste the girl is not clean. Unlike semen which tastes like cough mixture, female ejaculate can taste quite sweet and a muskiness is natural. If you don’t like a girl’s natural musky smell from her vulva then you are probably gay.

  • Emily

    lmfao this guy has probably never kept a girlfriend for very long

  • somedayamanda

    there are two reasons a man shouldn’t go down on a woman.

    1. he doesn’t want to
    2. She doesn’t want him to
    done. end of article.

    • Angie Goodnight

      Well said.

  • Ash

    Where is the 9 reasons not to go down on a man. It’s ver simple women give unless the recieve. I would never go down on a man unless he goes down on me.

  • Mark

    The women clitoris is huge part of her orgasm. It is my gfs favorite part, its like my penis. By denying a woman oral sex or rubbing it, you are denying her of her orgasm. The clitoris must be stimulated to arouse a women.

    It sounds like you can’t get a girl to orgasm, so you make excuses. If you don’t go down on a girl don’t complain that she doesn’t go down on you. I bet you are a one pump chump with a small dick or your gay. Try sucking a guy.

  • Aphra Behn

    Another few reasons to love Obamacare.

  • Walter White

    This guy is so full of shit! Just how insecure can you get? Emasculating? He was obviously the bitch in his relationship. It’s a gateway to Lesbianism? Obviously his wife ran off with a woman. My girl goes down on me all the time and it doesn’t make me want to go and suck a dick. Sex is the world’s greatest free gift. It’s a world to explore where and how you choose. Has Michael Douglas never smoked, drank or done drugs? Bearing in mind he was one of Hollywood’s biggest stars during the 70′s, 80′s, and 90′s and no doubt partied like one for some of this period. Surely these are the main, and more likely causes of throat cancer, as well as other cancers. This guy is a clean fiend who carries hand sanitizer on a holster around his waist and sanitizes every time he touches a door handle. Nothing wrong with a bit of muff-diving, I absolutely, and positively recommend it to anybody.
    It’s fools like this who scaremonger and create hysteria when people google a slight ailment and end up in a state of shock thinking they have cancer or some other awful disease. Amateur internet journalism is a dangerous thing, and planks like Noah Gulliver are the people who make it so. He needs to find some new reading material because that Old Testament is seriously dated!

  • Ajc

    My guess is that the Fucking Moron that wrote this waste of time article is some woman-hating freak. With the mental age and writing skills of an 11 year old.

  • m96

    Hahaha hilarious to read the comments below :-) Always the same thing.. when peoples “world view” is shrugged. Doesn’t matter if it’s this or the earth is flat. Massive uproar.

  • knlk

    What crap!!!

  • Brendan

    This author is one hell of a sexist troll. I love going down on my girl.

  • Diny

    I’ve been asking my boyfriend to try going down on me recently but he referred to this article to tell me why its not a good idea, but he doesn’t want me to stop giving him blowjobs. What can this mean? I don’t know much but the points mentioned in this article don’t seem realistic.

    • Mr.insight

      Listen he got false information and believes it or he is as sexist as the person who wrote this its just as dangerous performing oral on him as it is for him on you thus article is stating that women are whores and are disease ridden which is ignorant and should be ignored tell him the article is bullshit and that if he wants you to do it to him he needs to do the same for you

    • Angie Goodnight

      Diny, don’t let him use that as an excuse. If you are in good steady partnership there is no reason you shouldn’t go down upon each other. You might find some of the articles in my blog interesting to show him. Find the blog by searching my name as Angela, not Angie, Goodnight and add the world blog. Cunninglingus and fellatio are two of the most wonderful sexual activities, if done properly orgasm is guaranteed and there is no danger of pregnancy. You could get yourself tested, but should insist he does, too.

  • The Truth

    Women rather have other women do it to them these days.

    • Angie Goodnight

      That is not true – read my blog on lesbian g-spot orgasm. AngelaGoodnight.com/sexblog

  • Lilith

    This has GOT to be a joke. No one on earth could possibly be this completely and utterly stupid.

  • William

    “A successfull relationship between a Man and a Woman features the Man in a dominant roll” – Who wrote this shit

  • PhucPhags

    This seems like it was written by a fag.

  • Jessica

    SINCE WHEN ON EARTH IS LOVING A MAN FOR HIS PENIS A SUSTAINABLE REASON?! You are clearly just afraid and/or grossed out by giving head. Don’t you think half of these are true for blow jobs??? Christ, you’ve clearly never had good sex.

  • DB

    Silly misogynist. With as much medical knowledge as my dog.

  • Pysmythe

    Looks like I’m a dead man.

  • Michel Weij

    YOU.ARE.NOT.DOING.IT.CORRECTLY.

  • LickityJim

    What a moronic article this is. The author clearly values a dick nudging his dimples. Personally, I’ll die eating pussy.

  • Dr. Jim Hess

    Noah sounds like my kind of man. One who would rather have a cock in his mouth any day.

  • Joyous

    OMG.. Everyone is giving him what he wants. He’s a troll.. If anyone loves it or not. He’s just getting off on the abuse and everyone has took it so seriously. Ha we know its a load of shit. So Just LaUgH.. Heehehe lololololol hahahahahah

  • Alex

    This man acts as if the only way to spread sexual diseases from genital to oral is by giving head to a woman. As if no disease could ever be spread if a woman gives a guy head… of course.

  • Billy Bones

    4. Diseases From Fecal Matter in Females Can Spread to Men

    I also go down on my princess’s bum. Suck that, you party pooping scribe

    • Angie Goodnight

      Every girl is taught from a very young age that you always wipe from front to back to stop shit getting into your vulva. Only an idiot would wipe the other way.

  • Not the Douche writing this bs

    So this is what it’s like for a virgin to write about oral sex.

  • Pete

    This has got to be the dumbest thing I have ever seen. All the reason have to do with the women have some kind of disease, and pretty much say no women can be faithful. This gushing wrote this is a fucking moron and prolly prefers penis over vaginia anyway. Nothing wrong with that but why put down the vaginia like that. You deserve a kick in his ass and slap in the face. Fucking dumb ass

    • Angie Goodnight

      Think he’s talking more about the whole vulva rather than just the vagina.

  • Warrior4just

    Fuk what some women want “because they were made to think the need it”…if it hurst the health and well being of others..and one big fk to what women want if it is fatal to men.

    • Angie Goodnight

      Nice guy … I don’t think.

  • Aaron

    So, in summery eating a pussy will give us Cancer, HIV/AIDS, and a myriad of other potentially fatal diseases. While also displacing and possibly outright forfeiting our masculinity to our domineering and subconsciously lesbian girlfriends/wives. Ah, yeah and somehow you drew a parallel between l lesbians and heroin. Did I get all of that right or did I miss something?

    Looks like closed minded, fear mongering, right wing propaganda and bullshit to me. Dismissed.

  • Rebecca Joseph

    Giving cunnilingus is all a matter of using your tongue, lips and mouth to pleasure her down there. Let you tongue glide over her vaginal lips, don’t ignore the clitoris, and work your way inside her vaginal walls. Once you have settled on a nice, steady rhythm, keep the pressure up – and at this point, you need to pay attention to what her body is telling you. Does she like you to go harder or faster? Following the pace that she wants, don’t go lax on the pressure and simply keep on doing what you’re doing. You’ll know that she has reached the big ‘O’ when her pupils dilate, and when her vaginal lips go flex tightly and then go lax. MORE AT — http://tinyurl.com/n5lztz2

  • dozyla

    This list is also the reasons why women should not perform oral sex on men.

  • marty

    laaawwwwllll these are great. You sir are a wonderful troll.

  • lazlodelarental

    Jesus teaches us that cunnilingus is a sacrament!

    • Angie Goodnight

      I’d like to know where it says that. LOL.

    • lazlodelarental

      Galocians 7:11

    • Angie Goodnight

      There appears to be no such book as Galocians. I’ve checked Galatians and can’t find it there. What is Galocians?

    • bleeblu

      While I’m pretty sure Lazloetc isn’t serious, some quick googling turned up at least a few allusions to oral sex… Song 2:3 speaking of her beloved: “and his fruit is sweet to my taste.” where it’s not unrealistic to determine what his fruit is, and shortly followed with Song 4:16 “Let my beloved come into his garden and taste its choice fruits.” for cunnilingus; if his fruit is the obvious, then it’s not hard to interpret what fruits he’s tasting…

  • amaze

    go buy dental dams. its like how you need to use a condom for fellatio? duh. Some women don’t like cunnilingus so you guys terrified of it can go date them of course. But if your gf asks you for it and you cant provide I guess maybe you should break up and go find more compatible partners? -eyebrow raise-.

    In any case I doubt we’ll ever see an article about fellatio with the same amount of staunch support from both side as women are taught to be ashamed of their junk and men are taught women want to suck on their’s like it’s some sort of candy.

    • Angie Goodnight

      Unfortunately they suck! We tried one for a future blog Peter intends to do on my Angela Goodnight Sexblog site. The texture of a tongue on your clitoris is vital. The latex dams make it more smooth and I thought it felt absolutely awful and Peter hated it.

  • Lukeanicich

    Did you know that oral sex is the only way that most women can orgasm?

    Man I feel sorry for this person. Anyone could steel his woman from right under him. If she is never having any orgasms it’ll be like cake lmao

  • Another Toni’s husband – RON

    I READ ALL 9 OF THE TALKING POINTS – there may be some degree of hygienic validity to a few of them – but you can pick up infections from kissing or even picking your nose. KNOW WHO YOU ARE WITH AND WHAT EACH OF YOU LIKE AND ENJOY – AND IF IT TURNS YOU BOTH ON – TELL THE WORLD TO GO TO HELL.

  • Caroline Morris

    I am dying laughing at the steaming pile of bullsh*t. It all comes down to never ever ever go down on a woman because A) woman b/c she might be disease ridden and/or previously f*cked another dude and that’s almost like crossing swords. NO HOMO! B) because she might like it more than you d*ck and nothing is more important than your d*ick! C) because you might make her think you want to give her pleasure when y’know that the only pleasure them womens needs is fetching their manly man a beer and sandwich!

    Yeah, stick with this advice and die alone from masturbating 42 times in a row.

    • Billy Bones

      Die alone. That’s all it comes down to. If you can’t lovingly lick, suck and munch the female hole, u wil DIE ALONE! thank u

  • Rachel

    Raleigh Beckett isn’t afraid of cunnilingus, and you shouldn’t be either

  • rainbow

    I love how he equates hpv with vags, as if men don’t carry hpv as well. You can get cancer from sucking cock or vag. Maybe oral sex should be stopped.

  • Angie Goodnight

    I cannot believe the sad nature of this article. Oral sex in a monogamous relationship is one of the most delightful pursuits in the world. When my partner gives me cunninglingus it is carefully, but thoughtfully done and I’ve had the most amazing orgasms that way. Fortunately, being able to orgasm more than once I usually then go on to have a second climax through sex. As regards oral sex on him, for the same reason I rarely take him to completion as it usually ends the session although I will do occasionally for a treat. Sex is the most wonderful experience in the world and Peter Stone and I blog about it daily. You’ll need to google me as Angela Goodnight, not Angie.

  • Mike

    ARE YOU TRYING TO TURN US ALL GAY!!!

  • Pureburn

    You take it on the face and swallow and we will… Every guy knows that eating out a girl gets it in your face and in your mouth so fair is fair. Right girls?

  • realtyesq

    This article must have been written “tongue-in-cheek”

    • Brian

      More “head up ass”, I think.

  • just_a_man

    As a guy who actually got candidiasis (a, uh, yeast infection that turned my tongue white from …y’know… munching box), I just want to say THIS WRITER IS A MORON. You don’t die from yeast on your tongue. Only 2 types of HPV (16, 18) can cause throat cancer in men. You have no idea what you’re talking about. Nothing you write is factual. You’re an idiot.

    After reading the comments, I figured out that your username is fr33kSh0w2012 (right?) . And in one of your comments, you say mouths aren’t supposed to be used that way. This mirrors your perception of how sex organs are “supposed” to be used.

    I think you misunderstood something really basic when they gave you a body and consciousness and let you draw breath. Let me spell it out for ya. THERE IS NO “SUPPOSED TO”. Sure, people aren’t supposed to fly, but we all do. People aren’t supposed to breathe underwater, but we made scuba gear. Hell, if there’s one thing guys ARE supposed to do in bed, it’s give girls an orgasm.

    It’s possible that women disgust you, and if so, you’re not “supposed” to have sex with them. Maybe you’re asexual. Maybe gay. Thankfully for you, you live in a very modern, open-minded society where you can be whatever you want.

    But don’t get off telling other people what they should do. You don’t know anything. I’d feel sorry for you if you weren’t acting like such an ass.

    • Angie Goodnight

      So sorry that happened to you and so glad you kept it in perspective. Well done.

  • Woman in her 20′s

    men who don’t eat out are just pussies in my book… no pun intended. I like sucking dick because I like the reaction, because unlike the pussy who wrote this article I care about the pleasure I’m giving just as much as the one I’m receiving. If I come across a man who states he does not go down on women… that is the biggest turn off ever.

  • mallenby

    This is without a doubt one of the stupidest, most ignorant things I have read in my lifetime. No wonder women think men are clueless. Based on this fictional work I agree with them. I would rather go down on a hot woman that breathe and my life has been full of quality women. I also do not buy into that male superiority BS either. PEOPLE come in all genders, colors, sizes and shapes and no “group” of them are superior/inferior to any other group. I love women and love making love with them. I have had a great life. My very hot wife is in the shower right now… Gotta go brush my teeth… ; ĺ

  • DREW BURGE
  • VaughanThomas

    This is such bs. Sure STDs can happen with any sex, but the other dominance stuff–awful.

  • DanV

    Why put a once removed penis in your mouth. Go for the real thing. Go Blow!

  • DanV

    By this reasoning, a man should never let a woman blow him, lest he turns gay. Hogwash!

  • blee blorp

    You keep not going down on a woman, I’ll keep doing it. It’s fun, and one of the biggest turn-ons I can imagine. Bye!

  • robertcooper

    You either have some serious issues, or you’re taking the piss out of those who do.

  • Etzwane

    Jeez, I bet you don’t even have your red wings yet.

  • jamilleChristman

    I like articles like this, because it brings out a large majority of men and women who can come together and agree to how absolutely misinformed and accidentally hilarious this article is and how obviously uneducated the arguments are…..like HPV and throat cancer. Women are at higher risk of getting HPV from performing fellatio than men are with cunnilingus. Also, you don’t get HIV through saliva, but hey, who am I to use actual science to rain on your deluded parade of nonsense. Though I have seen more men irritated by this article than it seems the women are…but I suppose many women expect this sorta thing from misogynist idiots who can only have sex with a girl when he knocks her out or pays for it. It also brings out other misogynists that say the most delusional hilarious things that are fun to giggle wildly at.

  • Allyn

    After reading this, I’m having a bumper sticker made: Beware Typhoid Fever; avoid the vag.

    lol

    And I know it would be a waste of time, but I’d love to point out that the more orgasms a woman has, the “cleaner” her vagina becomes (unless all girl cooties are inherently disgusting and then you’re sol, I guess). I wonder if there’s a great, tried-and-true way to induce a large number of vag-cleansing orgasms…

  • disquslunchbox2222

    LOL I wonder what this author would do if I asked him to eat my ass

  • JasonTorpy

    slow clap. click bait + troll post + flame-war firestarter. I can only imagine the everyjoe.com jubilance at how much you’d rake in from this bit of yellow journalism.

  • John

    Dear Mr. Noah Gulliver,

    You, sir, are either a profoundly talented troll, or a spectacularly stupid person.

    Only two through four have any real merit, and those pose no real issue unless you’re dating women who never bathe, or are cheap prostitutes. The rest read like chauvinistic fearmongering circa the 1950′s. (Number eight is particularly idiotic.)

    If you are, in fact, a troll, then kudos, you have successfully trolled me.

    If, however, this is intended as it was presented, then I feel sorry for any woman that happens to be tricked into any type of relationship with you.

  • rhonan

    Dental dams take care of the hygiene issues, and being a good partner takes care of the rest. Of course, the author clearly is not secure enough in his own manhood to be a confident and caring partner.

  • Artemis

    Seriously? Get your medical facts straight. Get a clue. Don’t pollute the internet and minds until you open a textbook and study the CDC STI information. Go away. Go away now. Site admins? Take thisunsubstantiated and unfounded post down. Now. You are hurting the cause of hehealth women and menand the facts surrounding healthy sexual relationships. This is the same type of information that makes people think they can get chlamydia from a toilet seat. Go away. Now.

  • parrots_abound

    Sorry, but I really do not enjoy the thought of never eating a girl out again. I actually LIKE it.

  • francisco

    you are ignorant and sad.

  • The Spirit Molecule

    This is one of the funniest articles I’ve read on the internet. Anyone that gets upset because of this article has no sense of humor. This is how my Grandpa looked at cunnilingus.

    5 stars ! Made my day ;)

  • Anonymous

    This article is the dumbest thing I’ve read this week. And I read political blogs.

  • Robert Hackenberg

    and eating snatch helps with beard growth. Look at my profile pic. I shaved this morning!

  • Brad

    Who wrote this bunch of garbage? A new study shows? What study? When, where, & by whom. This sounds like its coming from Pat Robertson, or some of the other scare mongers. Man should be dominant and never get on his knees? A danger of the woman falling in love with your tongue and out of love with you? That’s hilarious. Or maybe we are just priming them up to be Lesbians? That’s beyond hilarious! I hope they didn’t PAY this nut-job to write such an opinionated muse. This is not scientific, or medically based in any sense.

  • Okidoll

    Michael Douglas lied about HPV. He has the same kind of throat/tongue cancer his father has. He admitted he made that up.

  • dickwad

    written by a boy who has self-image problems and needs to be dominant all the time.

  • dickwad

    this guy fears and knows he will always be inadequate in knowledge and ability, and cannot accept that truth.

  • Sarah7741

    This is actually true and there are scientific evidence for it. Its not misygonist a bit, it is educative and helpful. You are more likely to get dieasese by licking pussy that sucking dick. Research on it, its a scientific fact. Feminazis before commenting,you might want to educate on this topic before you accuse like dumb idiots.

  • DavidinAlaska

    “If a woman falls in love with your tongue, . . . it’s better . . . for a sustainable reason — such as your mind or your penis.”
    WRONG. Your tongue is lot more likely to work in your old age than your dick or your mind. Especially since neither of those is working very well for you right now.

  • alicat

    “A successful relationship between a man and a woman features the man in the dominant role. That dominance is lost the moment a male gets on his knees to bow before his female and perform oral sex.”

    FUCK YOU!!! YOU SEXIST ASSHOLE!!!

  • drsimmer

    Idiotic.

  • Artboyz

    This has to be the single dumbest thing I’ve ever read on the internet, and that is saying something.

  • blacktooth19

    fuck that, I eat the pussy till I burb

  • Sandiai

    “1. HPV in Women Causes Throat Cancer in Men”
    Yes, so let’s vaccinate the boys as well as the girls.

  • ICouldn’tResistCommenting

    1.
    HPV in Women Causes Throat Cancer in Men – yep, same as HPV in Men
    causes cervical cancer in Women. HPV is one of viruses transmitted via
    sexual contact, so – you want to stay safe from HPV leading to throat
    cancer – stay away from sex in general if we’re talking about extreme
    measures. Oh, but also cut the cigarettes and alcohol, they lead to
    throat cancer too. 2. Other Sexual Diseases in Women Can Spread to Men -
    mhm, because it works one-way only, rrrright? Simple solution – no
    sex=no STD, that should work for ya!
    But
    seriously – both 1 and 2 items on this list can be taken care of by
    simply being faithful to your partner – it’s not such a big deal to get
    checked before starting a sex life with your new other half.
    3.
    Non-Sexual Diseases in Women Can Spread to Men – another one-way
    working bullshit according to the author. Remember boys, girls are one
    big walking nest of bacterias and viruses, but you’re as clean as a
    newborn!
    4.
    Diseases From Fecal Matter in Females Can Spread to Men – wow, now
    that’s a revelation! Let’s think about all those girls suffering from
    cystytis cause their partners transmitted fecal matter into their
    vaginas…oh wait, i FORGOT it’s one way and a problem only if a guy
    goes down on a girl, not ANY other way!
    5.
    Other Men’s Matter Remains in the Vagina Indefinitely – now that’s
    offensive, assuming that your girl is obviously cheating on you. Sure
    the matter stays, for a while, but as mentioned – women have a
    self-cleaning system, doh! And we’re also not living in middleages where
    taking a bath was considered almost a crime. Plus, on a more mean side -
    if the girl IS cheating on you, you may take it for granted she’ll make
    sure you won’t get any other man’s matter on you anyway, she’s not that
    stupid.
    6.
    The Vagina is Desensitized to Penis Centric Sex – do some research
    first, before making such statement. Clitoris is much bigger than you
    think and it actually goes around vagina’s walls too, it’s only the tip
    that is visible and you can reach during oral stimulation. Plus –
    “direct” stimulation on that tip will most likely make the girl jump and
    i’m not talking about jumping out of happiness. Also, some research
    states that clitoris is placed as it’s placed cause in old, old times,
    when men were hunting mammoths and so on, sex was done with girl on her
    four and guy’s scrotum was indirectly stimulating this area. Result? We
    didn’t extinct, cause women were more willing to have sex with those
    filthy cavemen.
    7.
    Women Will Fall in Love for a Fleeting Reason – let me enlight you –
    women in general don’t fall in love with guys penises, nor their tongues
    (unless we’re talking about ability to use their tongue to express
    their feelings and opinions). Women fall in love with the mind and
    personality. I’m not saying sexual attractiveness and abilities don’t
    matter, but believe me – it’s secondary. Not to even mention that
    normally there is an attraction to the person and getting to know each
    other before there is sex. And statistically men are more likely to find
    new partner because their current sex partner is not so good, than
    women. And even if your woman is with you for your oral skills or penis,
    sooner or later she’ll find someone who’s better. Or bigger.
    8.
    Dominance in the Relationship Will Be Lost – dominance, huh? That’s
    funny one – as much as women like their man to be their rock and being
    “manly” oral sex won’t change anything in that matter. On the contrary -
    giving her an oral will result in having a happier and more devoted
    woman in many cases. And hey, she may be more willing to return the
    favor,cause one-way things simply don’t work in a long shot! Plus a
    little secret – relationship is not about dominance, but about balance.
    9.
    Cunnilingus is a Gateway Drug to Lesbianism – that’s the most hilarious
    one, i must say! So, you’re saying that a heterosexual guy receiving a
    lot of oral sex will eventually turn gay? You must be kidding, but i’ll
    take as if it’s serious – according to latest studies sexual preferences
    are not something that you “choose”. It’s a personal preference that
    we’re born with basically and it is impossible to turn gay or lesbian
    into heterosexual no matter what sort of “therapy” will be done.The same
    rule applies to heterosexual people.

  • Daniel

    To the Author: What a big pile of nonsense! Complete utter nonsense. Oral sex causes cancer? As if! And a man submitting to a woman in the bedroom will ruin things? You’ve got to be joking! Also you talk about the vagina as if it’s a dirty, disease ridden area that’s not to be touched. You come across as sexist and gay at the very least. The only thing you were right about is contracting diseases from oral sex, that’s true but only if they have a sexually transmitted disease. If they don’t, then there’s no risk going down on a lady. Obviously if her vagina has some kind of infection then having oral sex with her would not be advisable.
    The way you put it is that the vagina is a no go area. You couldn’t be more wrong. You’re sexist, gay and a troll.

  • palestinian atheist

    Satire, I presume.

  • James Nimmons

    author is a fucking moron.

  • beardedClam

    the writer of this article is just a hypochondriac misogynist who’s afraid of pussy.

    seriously, the same ‘excuses’ he used can be used against sucking dick too.

    he’s nothing more than a selfish prick who’s afraid of a woman enjoying herself and convinced himself the clit is of the devil!

  • Silus

    Why you shouldn’t give a woman oral: She didn’t suck first.

  • Brasilmagic

    How sad that we need to comment on such an ignorant article to prevent this obviously in-the-closet gay man to spread lies and harm women. A man who is sexually attracted to women loves every part of her. And the “dominance” thing…the poor guy never had an equal and mutual loving relationship in his sad life.

    • Brian

      I’m pretty sure even most gay men have a better grasp of how to sexually please a woman than this guy does.

  • Nathan

    Offensive on every level, pure pseudoscience. This Noah Gulliver thinks he’s a “real man” by keeping woman submissive and because he thinks his dick is the ultimate pleasure tool. A real man doesn’t need to force a woman to submit to stay with him, a real man gets both partners off like a champion, not by prioritizing his pleasure over hers. Every strong and happy couple I know includes cunnilingus in their sexual repertoire. Noah Gulliver, you are not a real man, as evidenced by how childishly terrified you are of vaginas.

  • Fiona Stone

    Basically it boils down to: don’t go down on a vagina because it’s gross, you’re bowing to your woman so you’re emasculated, if the c lit was supposed to be used it would be in the vagina, and you will turn her into a lesbian because oral is too good.

    • Guest

      not about getting them, he can’t keep them.

  • MAD WHITEGIRL

    lmaoooo this dude must not get a lotta women. you can switch this entire article around to say the same about blowjobs. but he’s a dude. I’m sure he ain’t against a lil bump n grind with a blowjob thrown in there. fuck whoever wrote this dead ass article

    • Marty Holden

      he can probably get them, he just can’t keep them.

  • Katelyn

    I’m guessing this guy was laughed at one time too many in this department.

  • Danielle Mammano

    LOL this is too funny. You can’t be serious. I bet you have a COMPLETELY different view when it comes to blowjobs though. And a successful relationship is not one where any party is dominant, it is one where both parties are working together and being a team. My relationship is going to hit the 7-year mark soon and we NEVER argue, make decisions together, and have never fallen out of that “puppy love” most people see fading.

    Oddly, my man doesn’t actually like oral (giving or getting! he prefers to be face-to-face and intimate and such, he’s a romantic haha), but that’s fine, because I can live with or without it myself. There’s someone for everyone!

  • Gb47

    If you ask me I can retort every single one of these and say the same thing about going down on a male.

  • Mel

    this is legitimately the most inaccurate and most idiotic thing ive ever seen regarding sex. this has to be a troll.

  • Sondra Treasure

    Ha ha ha ha ha ha!!! Ha ha ha ha!! This is the guy who’s so bad it, women get up and walk away in the middle!!! I promise, on my honor, I will never go seek the arms of a lesbian if you’re doing right. Just saying.

  • kittykat

    Wtf half of that goes both ways and who cares if it’s an unnatural amount of stimulation? How does that affect someone’s health? Sounds like an ego problem.

  • Al Wolf

    noah…. /wrist now, thanks.

  • pan

    Good satire A+ . Coming from a lesbian, I laughed a lot :D

    • Brian

      Lesbian? But that’s impossible? How do you tell who’s dominant?!

      (Sarcasm tag. Normally I wouldn’t think it necessary, but… Well, you read the article. Apparently some people think that.)

  • MamaCarrie

    Every one of your statements can pertain to women as well. I would even go further to state that mens penises are dirtier than vagina. We are taught to wipe front to back to avoid issues with infection from a young age while men are required to touch their penises each time they urinate. The hands come in contact with even more bacteria and unless you are washing your hands prior to urination (which I highly doubt) you are spreading fecal matter found on door handles, dirt from whatever was last touched, and all manner of disgusting particles to your tender skins, which are another hot, sweaty breeding ground of bacteria. Also, the possibility of cancer is equally viable in women with the added issue of throat trauma due to overly excited men not knowing how to hold back on their thrust. If he grabs your head, ladies, chances are he thinks what he watches in his alone time is how oral sex works. Sorry, we’re not adult film stars who are all practiced in deep throat arts. The chances you’ll get a girl accidentally covering you in that delicious dinner you just had increase when you think this way. I’d also like to point out that all parties should ensure clean parts for safe, consensual acts between adults. Really, if you’re worried whether or not there’s fecal matter or other foreign substances on your lovers’ bits then perhaps you should reconsider whether you need to have sexual relations with them at all.

    • Marty Holden

      AMEN!

    • Danielle Heriford

      Vagina’s are actually self-cleansing, so first off we are already having cleaning maintenance asides general mandatory wiping and cleaning. Penis’s don’t have that function, and they don’t wipe that often. How can we trust them, we don’t know where they’ve been. It’s an unnecessary risk. Say no to Fellatio.

  • Robyn Leigh Becker

    I think you wrote this article as a social experiment to see just how many people would be offended. Aye, verily I say unto thee, surely you jest, brother.

  • Anony-mouse

    Very funny. Quite the comedian. 10/10 would read again while having cunnilingus performed on me.

  • Brian

    Not quite the advice I would give, but then, I’ve actually satisfied women.

  • Alexander

    All I saw while reading this article was ‘blah blah blah I can’t hold a stable relationship with a woman because I don’t know how to properly pleasure her and only care for my pleasure during sex blah blah blah punch me in the nuts’

  • Shannona

    I really REALLY hope a shit load of idiots follow this advice and there will be a lot more single miserable dudebros out there.

  • Shortkut232

    I love eating my woman out and if you love somebody then you will give tit-for tat; if she bows down on you bow down on her.. When your married they call it “one flesh” if that is true then why be one sided and why only experience half of a person when you can do it all? And I might add, if your worried about your woman cheating on your so bad that your afraid to go down on her then you probably shouldn’t be with her. If you base your relationship on how well you preform then your going to lose anyway.. The question isn’t weather or weather not to have oral sex, its who are you compatible with and what does it take to turn you and her on. We always have each other strait from the shower anyway and even if those diseases do exist as much contact as we have with each other we are bound to catch each others cooties anyway so might as well have fun doing it.. By the way there are over a trillion good and bad bacteria in the human body… If your afraid of that then having sex is just not for you.. just saying.

  • ACMEsalesrep

    With this attitude, I hope you never get a blow job again. After all, every single argument you make against performing cunnilingus could be equally applied to fellatio, right down to the “if he really enjoys it, he’ll eventually seek out another guy” part.

    Also: grow the fuck up.

  • Sam

    Ladies, if the idiot guy you’re with ever presents this as evidence as to why he can’t go down on you, just switch all the gender/reproductive organ words around, and present it as evidence as to why you can’t go down on him. After all, every risk he’s “exposed” to, so are you when you do the same thing.

    Then drop that ignorant fool and go find a real man.

  • Meeko

    What a fucking joke. Falling in love with you for your penis, hmm?

    Sorry to break it to you misogynist douchebags, but if we were going to fall in love with a phallus we would LITERALLY just buy all the dildos we want and not have to deal with your BLINDING IDIOCY and at the same time be perfectly and delightfully satisfied each and every night without you and your precious dick.

    Protip: Not taking the time or effort to pleasure the woman in your life(and not just ramming her with your fucking dick long enough for you to cum is not pleasuring her) does not make you hot shit or dominant or a real man. It just makes you a shitty partner, and you probably SHOULD be replaced with those dildos I mentioned above.

    Women don’t have time for men like you.

  • RCFrey

    You see what’s happening here, right? If you check out the author’s other entries they have 3 comments, 7 comments — oh — 49 comments and then there’s this entry: 335 comments and counting, multiple shares on Facebook….. Just like a little kid, even negative attention is at least attention. Spreading misinformation disguised as “science” as well as misogyny? Oh well — at least people on Twitter are talking about him.

  • mjames

    This is the most ignorant and DUMBEST article I have ever seen written anywhere. What an idiot. I clean my vajay regularly, I didn’t buy the self cleaning kind. Id like to know how many men have died from oral yeast and your cock is just as close to your ass as our vajays are to our asses…so we should prob all stop giving BJs too.

  • Kayla

    This shithead makes me happy to be a lesbian

  • Porphyra Philia

    LMAO wtf kind of article is this? Why is it pretty much saying vagina is gross? The guy who wrote this must be gay. To each’s own, but no need to write such a pathetic thesis for this article. It should have been about not going down on skanks…not women as a whole. BTW That male dominance shit is so stupid too. Real men please their women….and by all means, make sure shes got no poop on her butt or std’s and all is well. lolol &whoever agrees with this garbage is an idiot.

  • Porphyra Philia

    LMAO
    wtf kind of article is this? Why is it pretty much saying vagina is
    gross? The guy who wrote this must be gay. To each’s own, but no need to
    write such a pathetic thesis for this article. It should have been
    about not going down on skanks…not women as a whole. BTW That male
    dominance shit is so stupid too. Real men please their women….and by
    all means, make sure shes got no poop on her butt or std’s and all is
    well. lolol &whoever agrees with this garbage is an idiot. Why even
    judge dominance in any relationship? There are so many different roles
    being played in today’s society when it comes to sex and gender. Who’s
    to say a relationship can’t be successful if the male plays the dominate
    role in the bedroom sometimes? That’s pretty much making fun of anyone
    who isn’t the traditional straight person. This guy must be a self
    hating gay lolol. I pity the writer of this article.

  • Porphyra Philia

    LMAO
    wtf kind of article is this? Why is it pretty much saying vagina is
    gross? The guy who wrote this must be gay. To each’s own, but no need to
    write such a pathetic thesis for this article. It should have been
    about not going down on skanks…not women as a whole. BTW That male
    dominance shit is so stupid too. Real men please their women….and by
    all means, make sure shes got no poop on her butt or std’s and all is
    well. lolol &whoever agrees with this garbage is an idiot. Why even
    judge dominance in any relationship? There are so many different roles
    being played in today’s society when it comes to sex and gender. Who’s
    to say a relationship can’t be successful if the male plays the dominate
    role in the bedroom sometimes? That’s pretty much making fun of anyone
    who isn’t the traditional straight person. This guy must be a self
    hating gay lolol. I pity the writer of this article.

  • Sage

    Highlights of stupidity: “if you think you’re in a committed relationship, by the time you find out your woman has been cheating on you it’ll be too late.” are you suggesting all women are cheaters?!
    “think about it. the clitoris was never meant to receive that much stimulation”I just want to add that a low percentage of woman orgasm from penetration alone- THAT IS WHAT THE CLITORIS IS FOR.
    “he can’t compete with the intimate knowledge a female mind provides when engaging in this activity. Thus if a woman truly loves oral sex she’ll find herself in the arms of a woman” Then wouldn’t the same apply to a man? People with vaginas seldom have penises, so that means all men, even straight ones will divert to homosexuality to get good head.

    • Chuck

      Stimulating the clitoris is unnatural! As is flying! If man were meant to fly, he would have wings! I hope the author never gets on a creepy unnatural airplane! THESE THINGS GO DOWN!

  • z

    “Wait so you’re saying that men shouldn’t
    perform oral sex on women because they’ll get a disease, but women
    should still perform fellatio for men????? We’re running literally the
    same risks???? But we should still do it so men should feel “dominant”

    I mean if you’re gonna try to do sexual fear……”

    “DOn’T GIVE WOMEN ORAL OR THEY’LL REALIZE HOW MUCH BETTER IT IS THAN
    YOU BLINDLY SLAMMING YOUR PATHETIC DICK INTO THEM AND THEY MIGHT
    ACTUALLY ENJOY THEMSELVES HOLY SHIT”

    “DONT GIVE WOMEN ORAL O THEY MIGHT REALIZE YOU FUCKING SUCK AT IT AND GO DATE OTHER WOMEN WHO KNOW WHAT THEYRE DOING”

    Just want to thank you, woman to man, because now I have perfect reasons to never give head again! Woooooooh, go vagina!

  • redcore

    “Thus, if a woman truly loves oral sex, she will eventually find herself in the arms of a lesbian.”

    So, I take it you like your dick sucked and, thus, find yourself in the arms of a gay man who knows how to do it best (you know, since they understand the male mind best).

    I get if you just don’t like it, unfortunately (or fortunately for me) a lot of men don’t for whatever reason, but some of the rationale seems to indicate closet homosexuality (having to have your butthole fingered just to get off? seriously?) or at least some serious past issues/traumatic events with women (show me on the doll where your mother hurt you, Norman Bates! lol). The tone is bordering on disrespectful and paints women poorly. If you had a woman leave you for a lesbian, perhaps the whole time she was a closet lesbian for whatever reason, and your initial attraction was that shared attribute as many times we as people tend to attract those like ourselves.

    Also, I’ve never dated a woman who has demanded cunnalingus “on a whim” – that is to say, my girlfriend has never walked in the door after a hard day’s work and said “eat my pussy, motherf***er!” LOL! Heck, I was the one that initially pressed the issue in the bedroom. It’s not about one dominating the other, though there is a time and place for it, but your fear of being dominated (again, mommy issue resurfacing) and inability to give to your partner unselfishly will always lead to the destruction of the relationship. Perhaps this is why you’re so upset with women, not something as petty as eating pussy.

    • Porst

      Maybe the author found out how to suck his own dick and this is just his really passive-aggressive way of bragging.

  • Jenna B

    Noah, you are aware that sucking cock can transfer HIV and Herpes? Are you then sugesting we remove oral sex from the equation? Pray tell, what is this nonsense about men’s semen being “stuck”, as you so eloquently put it, in a women’s vagina for months? Research as shown that semen can last up to 2 days, but the vagina cleans all that out pretty quickly. I would know, I have one, I see the discharge in my underwear. (Oh, did I gross you out with my highly superior multi-orgasming woman parts?) Pick up a biology book.

  • Lyndsey

    OPs dick so dry he blamin’ the pussy.

  • Annoyed

    Some men don’t like to, I get it. However, if he actually knew anything about masculine and feminine and even anything about a dom/domme and their sub, they would know you aren’t compromising anything about your masculinity by getting on your knees and showing your female exactly how much you enjoy her. Part of loving someone completely is being willing to do anything for them and try anything with them. It isn’t a terrible thing if you don’t enjoy it but this writer is the only man I know of who doesn’t enjoy the taste of a woman’s vagina on his tongue who didn’t originally have other preferences in the bed room. I’m sure they are out there though, don’t get me wrong. What I wonder is how he not only supports but is trying to force a medieval idea down other men throats instead of just being happy with never truly making another woman happy. Men came a long way when they accepted pleasing a women in such a manner. Why would you back peddle so hard unless your compensating for being absolutely terrible at it? If you are with a woman who is unfortunate enough to have a yeast infection, and you go down on her, shame on you and you deserve the infection in your mouth. If you are worried about being with a woman who has a disease, go to the doctor together and get tested together and do it on a monthly basis if you are truly that worried about it. How about actually trusting someone? If you believe every single woman is going to cheat on you obviously you Sir need to stop whining like a little bitch and get over the fact you dated a whore, FYI we aren’t all the same. I wont be with a man who doesn’t do oral to a woman especially if that man thinks I’m doing any such thing to him! My husband and I are both equally dominant in our marriage and never once have I ever thought any less of his manliness for being amazing with his mouth. Get over yourself man, life will look a whole lot better.

  • Jason Shambo

    This guy is a chauvinist and apparently a lousy lover. I go down on my girl because I love that I can make her climb the headboard with my tongue. There are risks to ones health in any sexual activity, but we are not going to nor were we meant to live forever. The author obviously is not very skilled with his junk if he thinks that going down desensitizes the vajayjay. After I am done, with a sopping wet chin; I can get my girl to reach climax multiple times without ever a complaint that she has lost any feeling. As far as straying to another woman, or cheating; again refer to not knocking her socks off yourself. If you are hitting it right, no woman on Earth will stray. As a matter of fact, it can be hard to keep her away if you are doing it right. My suggestion to the author, watch more porn, brush up on your skills. Quit jacking off in a minute or less so you can have some stamina for your lady. Oh and such that clit into your mouth and draw out the alphabet with your tongue, thank you Sam Kinison for the advice. Been a pro since my teens thanks to that raunchy ole bastard! ;)

  • Erick Mercadante

    This is absolutely ridiculous!! first point.. a man shouldn’t be eating a woman out if she has an std or yeast infection or on her period anyway!! Anyman who does is fucked up.. As for the fecal problem… that is a womans job to keep herself clean down there. The vagina is self cleaning, chances are by the time the womans’ lover comes back the biological material is gone already. The material does not stay there, if it did then women would be dirty as hell. Another problem I have with this is the article pretty much says women are things and you should not under any circumstance do anything to make her feel good.. man if you want a blowjob you need to do something for her. Also this article says all women are disgusting and dirty. One more thing it also says women will cheat and turn lesbian if you eat her out.. how the hell does that happen?? This article is more flawed than the writers life. I have no problem with eating my girlfriend out, I LOVE it actually it’s fun there’s nothing wrong with it. Women are not things, they are people. The sooner you learn that the better your life will be.

  • James

    Why are you letting 12-year old boys write articles for your website

  • Ana

    GAAAAAYYYY

    • EdgarTF

      Homosexual!

  • ttW

    It is true! All of it!

  • frank ridley

    I feel dumber for having read this. Thank you Norman Bates for the info.

  • Sarah

    I’m a profesional gynecolist and i laughed SO BAD with all this bullshit hhahahaha

    • Sarah

      *gynecologist lol sorry

  • fang

    The guy who wrote the article needs to come to terms with his sexuality. Its totally fine to be gay, I am! I will GLADLY let you suck my Dick ;)

  • EdgarTF

    Pussies kill more people every year than airbags and trans fats together. If you go down, you are a step away from death and eternal doom. Actually you shouldn’t have sex if you are not trying to have kids.End of transmission. Message sponsored by Christian Churches United. .#godswatchinyou

  • Christian R. Bauman

    I think you drew #9 from your own insecurities. I mean, the same can be applied to the other genders, right…?

    “Even if a male reaches the peak of his ability at the art of
    cunnilingus, he can’t compete with the intimate knowledge a female mind
    provides when engaging in this activity. Thus, if a woman truly loves
    oral sex, she will eventually find herself in the arms of a lesbian.
    Think of cunnilingus as being comparable to marijuana and lesbianism
    being comparable to hardcore drugs such as heroin and crack. This
    gateway is best to be avoided.”

    Shouldn’t that also be true then that guys are better at sucking dick than girls? Maybe, the one time you’ve got head, you probably thought… “Man I truly love this… but this girl can’t possibly compete with the intimate knowledge a GUY would have. After all, he’d know how to work a penis better than this girl would ever know… ”

    And maybe that’s why you’re not that big of a fan of a vagina. You know what else is gross? The fact, that you came out of one too. That’s right, you were pushed out from a place just a few inches from the asshole, as you mentioned. So right there, you should be covered in diseases too.

    I think you did a great job listing your 9 reasons for staying the fuck away from a vagina. And that’s wonderful. I’m proud of you and wish you the best. There’s already a bunch of guys out there refraining from the horrors of vaginas, you should start hanging out with them. Maybe it’ll grow into something great and more worthy of your time than writing shit articles under the illusion of “alphaness”. Maybe you’ll get into an awesome relationship without every having to kneel before a woman or get near her pussy.

    That’s my advice for you. Wish you all the best with your manhood.

  • Colt

    He is soooooo misinformed, your penis and your tongue cause two different styles of orgasm, clitoral via tongue, vaginal via shaft. What an idiot. And I have never lost my ‘dominance’ in a relationship after giving multiple orgasms before having ‘true intercourse’, thats not even a thing! If anything she will come back for more and if its a monogamous relationship you will give her more reason to never wonder what else is out there. Men do NOT listen to this guy, all healthy and long lasting sexual relationships begin with you going down on her. A smart man knows that she comes first, in the sack and in the relationship.

  • Hopefully not getting it

    Tell me this is some kind of ineffective and harmful satire? Its a stretch to call this science of any kind. The only valid argument is that unprotected sex (of any kind) can spread sexual disease. They rest is unimaginative sexist drivel.

  • Tymber Dalton

    I hope this guy never gets laid again in his life. What a juvenile asshole.

  • Unimpressed

    This website is a waste of my time. The 9 reasons why men should never give oral sex really shot your credability and not much else is lifting it. Im going to now browse sites with interesting information. Hope your site gets better. Maybe hire some better journalists. Also your idea of a successful relationship is narrow as are your ignorent assumptions about women and the human body. Please get educated this insults intelligent people.

  • Ivan Urkinuov

    A man who licks a vagina is no man at all. He is not properly taking the woman as nature intended. Everyone knows that excretions from the vagina are commonly used in voodoo mind-control rituals in Haiti.

    • Billy Bones

      Did nature intend for your wife to suck your limp noodle to fullness?

    • Ivan Urkinuov

      Yes, of course. It’s not an equal world.

    • Ivan Urkinuov

      How else will it get full?

  • Proud Black Queen

    Get the fuck out of here. I understand why this person wrote this. Because he or she doesn’t know how to do cunnilingus. I would write something like this if I was turned away as well. I guess your 4inch dick will really please someone. Women love it when a man has master the cunnilingus technique.Do me all day long and I’m yours forever…

  • AS

    I would point out what’s misinformed, misogynistic, and just plain moronic about this article, but then I’d just have to copy the entire thing. Have you ever even been near a vagina. Or a biology textbook?

  • Sharon Masters

    Having read this on “Everyjoe.com” I have to now believe that the site is not able to distinguish heath from satire, nor screen their writers, and will no longer be viewing the page. I suggest EVERYONE who posted do the same…. until they are gone from the net due to STUPID/irrelevant articles that blow up statistics out of proportion and make jumps of faith…. out of science.

  • Erin Jaye

    [Ring....ring...] “Yes, hello, The Onion? Yes, hi, your piece on female cunnilingus has mistakenly been posted on everyjoe.com”

  • Bearded Clam

    I hope you enjoy your life of celibacy, moron.

  • maggielololurfuckingstupid

    you, my friend, are a fucking idiot

  • E

    Congratulations. This is officially the stupidest article ever posted on the Internet.

  • ng

    Ahem. This is the biggest piece of shit I have read. Why is it safe for women to give men oral but not the other way around? It runs exactly the same risks. This article is FULL of sexual fear. ““if the clit was supposed to be used for sexual pleasure than it would be in the vagina” Men’s G-spots are up their asses. Newsflash.
    This article was probably made by someone who is afraid women will realise that there are more pleasurable ways of having sex than having someones dick rammed into you over and over.

  • Taylor D

    1. HPV in men is transferred to women through oral sex. According to my doctor, the odds of cancer developing are very low either way.

    2. All male STIs and STDs can be transferred from a penis to a woman’s mouth. Or a mans mouth. or any human mouth.

    3. Penile diseases that aren’t sexually transmitted also transfer during oral sex and can lead to bad things but yet again cancer is highly unlikely in both directions.

    4.Urine, sweat, and feces are in fact on both the male and female sex organs. Fecal matter is more common on testicles. Dried semen and pus is also more common on the male penis.

    5. Biological material is cleansed from the vagina after roughly 3-5 days. Faster if a woman cleans it with water or douches (but douching can be pretty unhealthy). Organic matter does not stay in a vagina if you use a condom. The purpose of a condom is to catch the ‘organic matter.’

    6. The vast majority of women cannot orgasm through vaginal stimulation alone. The clitoris has roughly 12,000 nerve endings compared to the 8,000 in the head of the male penis.Clitoral stimulation is as important to attaining a female orgasm as touching the penis is to the male orgasm.

    Also, Mother nature made some major mistakes with the development of human genitals. When the testicles develop in utero they are inside of the body and later drop when the fetus develops into a male. This leaves holes where cancer can form.

    Fun fact: some land cats have clits that are so large they stick out like little cat dongs.

    7. I think the last line is satire?

    8. Typically relationships are most successful when there is no such thing as dominant and submissive roles but that is totally based on the relationship.

    9. basically what you’re saying here is “DON’T GIVE WOMEN ORAL OR THEY MIGHT REALIZE YOU FUCKING SUCK AT IT AND GO DATE OTHER WOMEN WHO KNOW WHAT THEY’RE DOING.”

    tl:dr – dudebro that wrote this article has no understanding of female anatomy and has probably never given a woman an orgasm in his life

  • Jlee

    Please tell me this is a huge joke! The 9 pointless reasons are a joke. It sounds like someone has not had much luck with the ladies over the years.

  • love69

    He probably got his heart broken by the love of his life because she broke up with him because he wouldn’t go down on her and she found someone that eats her out like no one in the world ever has… So he figures if he can get men to stop then he won’t be a freak for not loving the taste of a woman on his lips… or he’s gay. Either way… A dick may be a better alternative for you buddy!

  • Sandra Jean

    Who ever wrote this article need to be dick slapped.

  • BULLSHIT

    NOAH GULLIVER HAS NEVER SATISFIED A WOMAN.

  • TKstyle

    why does the name “twat waffle” come to mind? Ah yes, because only a dinosaur of a man would write such bullshit. I call shenanigans on this article.

  • Milania

    Sounds like your bitter because your girlfriend left you because you didn’t know how to please her correctly. I’m sorry for your loss oh and you are probably gay.

  • so lame

    this is easily the wackest article i’ve ever read in my life

  • txconfederate101

    Definition of oral sex is two people sitting on the edge of the bed and talking about it.

  • Laura

    como decimos en México: que mamadota!

  • couic

    the only reason I wouldn’t do it is a stinky vag

  • BulldogMama

    I haven’t read this much ignorance and BS since trolling AOL Chat Rooms in the late 90′s!

  • Chuck

    Was this written by a Muslim Catholic in 1950? WHAT. THE. F…

    Dudes, pay no attention to this crap.

    Really.

    Sincerely,

    The King.

  • Jess Geez

    OMG HAHAHA! This is such a joke! You are soooooo misinformed. The chances of catching anything through unprotected oral (on a woman) is negligible (on a man, however, the risk increases). You have a greater chance of contracting something through fingering or condom sex.

    I’m not going to read this bullshit and just assume this is some kind of joke site. MAN THE FUCK UP, BOYS. Eat that pussy and stfu.

    • steelcast2009

      yeah ! give it to me

  • Kristen

    Lesbianism? I love how the argument gets less and less convincing as it goes.

  • Stuart Gairns

    “Gateway drug to lesbianism” – Retarded author confirmed.

  • MercedesAllen

    Seriously? I’m guessing the tenth, deleted reason was the “cooties” argument. Fortunately for the author, the editors left six or seven others that more or less say the same thing.

  • author used wikipedia for rese

    So I’m guessing women should never give oral sex to men either, right? Case closed.
    Why didn’t he ever mention that HPV for example is passed from men to women and it causes cervical cancer so very me a river about your throat cancer.

    • oops

      Cry me a river*

  • IdRatherPissGlass

    This guy has GOT to be some kind of religious fanatic to even remotely suggest that the “mans role” is to be the dominant. I’m as equal opportunity as they come, and I’ll be damned if I will feel threatened by a woman that has a dominant demeanor. If she goes down on me, then why should I not go down on her? Hell, I LOVE eating pussy, and would be hard pressed to not go down on a woman if I liked her.

  • Kristie Hammill

    The few parts of this article that are accurate or have any scientific basis whatsoever are basically common sense. If you engage in sexual activity, you run the risk of disease. Thank you, 6th grade health class. The rest is opinion. Esmaculating? Please. To each his own though, I guess. #9 is unfounded and ridiculous. Although if your girl is considering switching teams, maybe showing her this article will make her change her mind.

  • Chris Wa Hya Hudson

    This is ridiculous. All these women saying that this is pushing sexism and male domination are fucking crazy. Most of you saying that also say that you would never give a guy a chance who just doesn’t like to go down on you. That is just fucked up. The standard that most woman hold a man to now in days is crazy. Don’t get me wrong I am ok with going down. It is not my favorite thing to do but I would do it. Anytime a woman demanded I would do it and I would lose interest. Mainly because all those women would turn out to be controlling bitches that would lie and cheat. Maybe that is just my experience but I am sure there are a few of us here that have felt the wrath of a crazy woman. I know half of you are going to freak out on me and call some shit like gay or never had sex. I will tell you now fuck off. I have a wonderful loving wife and two kids. Oh I am also Atheist so you can’t pull that religion bullshit either. I am also a supporter of gay rights and believe in equality between every man, woman, or race. That means “EQUAL” Expect the same fucking treatment that you dish out or change your fucked up ways. No one is more important then the other. FUCK YOUR STANDARDS! Have a nice fucking day and please have safe sex. Don’t want any of you catching or transmitting anything.

    • doctor_spaceman

      Would you be willing to date a women who wouldn’t give you oral?

  • felacia

    #1 It is called practicing safe
    sex. “HPV is so common that nearly all
    sexually-active men and women get it at some point in their lives. This is true
    even for people who only have sex with one person in their lifetime.” (http://www.cdc.gov/std/hpv/stdfact-hpv.htm) There are these magical things called dental
    dams which allow for oral sex to be performed. They have condom for safe oral
    sex on men and for safe sex in general.
    If you are sleeping with anyone you fucking meet, then stop it. THAT’S why you are getting STD/STI’s.

    #2 Fucking ANY
    guy will give you an STD if he has one.
    That’s just a fact. Women are
    always told to keep condoms around for safe sex, but why is the man not taking
    responsibility for his actions? Why is
    he not keeping condoms and dental dams around?
    Going down on a man or fucking him will give the SAME STD/STI’s and then
    some. Try again.

    #3 Don’t go down
    on a woman if she has a yeast infection.
    Hell, if she has a yeast infection she won’t want you even touching her
    vagina. How is this a hard concept to
    understand?

    #4 This is a
    reason to NOT HAVE SEX and to NOT EVER GIVE ORAL because the same can be argued
    for going down on a guy. Seriously, this
    is one of the stupidest things I have EVER read. And I have read some stupid shit. Your
    TOOTHBRUSH is COVERED in fecal matter. I’m
    not joking. No matter where you put it, it WILL get fecal matter on it. Don’t believe me? Put on Mythbusters, they kindly prove this in
    an episode. So every time you brush your
    teeth, you are getting an amount of fecal matter. Yeah, think about that for a
    second. So, don’t have sex unless you
    are into scat?

    #5 I spoke too
    soon on saying the last thing was stupid. This is even dumber than the
    last! Seriously, I don’t even know where
    to start on this one. No “biological” material will get into the vagina with a
    condom, otherwise, she’d get pregnant. I’m looking for how this “self-cleaning”
    takes “months.” It doesn’t. Otherwise,
    we would have issues EVERY time we have our periods. Why?
    Because after a period, the vagina cleans itself. Want to read more about vaginas? http://www.nhs.uk/Livewell/vagina-health/Pages/keep-vagina-clean.aspx

    #6 This is just
    OUTRAGEOUSLY wrong. First of all, MOST
    women cum from clitoral stimulation. MANY women can’t cum from anything BUT
    clitoral stimulation. Most women I have
    talked to about masturbation masturbate with one hand, fingers on the clit, and
    never penetrate their vagina. Why?
    Because the clit feels DAMN GOOD! It is far more sensitive than any part
    on a male, and it NEEDS attention. This
    person claiming the amount of stimulation is unnatural obviously has never seen
    a woman have her FIRST orgasm on a sybian.
    Clitoral stimulation is a MUST. I
    have known MANY women who CAN’T cum just from sex. If they are on top, they cum better because
    they can get the right friction on their clit.
    So why didn’t Mother Nature put it on the inside? Well for one, it’s like a small penis, and
    every female has a different clit size.
    For two, when a girl starts exploring herself, she discovers her clit,
    realizes how good it feels and cums from it.
    So if inserting penis into vagina is the most important thing in sex,
    why is it that men don’t hit the G-spot correctly? And why is it that the male G-spot (The
    prostate gland) is in the anus but most guys don’t want anything up their
    ass? So really, women should be donning
    strap ons and fucking men up their ass because THAT is where they have their
    sensitive spot.

    #7 That’s
    bullshit. That is actually just the most
    bullshit I have seen spewed today. That’s
    like saying a girl has to go down on a guy to keep him from straying. Here’s the thing: people are going to stray
    if they are going to stray. Don’t be an
    asshole of a guy, treat your woman with respect, love her and cherish her, don’t
    be a dick, and she will be less likely to seek someone better than you. That’s essentially like saying “Don’t have
    sex with this person because they are going to stray and leave you.” If you are in a relationship, enjoy that
    relationship while it lasts and try to make the other person as happy or
    happier than they make you.
    Relationships are a give-and-take.
    If you aren’t willing to give, don’t expect to take.

    #8 Wow. Wow.
    Wow. Fuck you and your misogynistic bullshit author. First off, I am actually IN the BDSM
    lifestyle and have a DOMINANT man. Know
    what he does? He eats my cunt and makes
    me scream and cum and beg for mercy because I can’t handle anymore. It doesn’t take away from his Dominance. It doesn’t take away from my submission. Second of all, I know MANY Domme Females who
    would rip someone to shreds for thinking that.
    Since that is saying to them that THEY can’t choose to go down on their
    submissive boys because it takes away from their Dominance. A successful relationship is based on trust
    and communication, not who is on the bottom.
    Again, relationships are a give-and-take. If one does practice BDSM doing certain acts
    doesn’t take away from their role in the relationship. My Man helps me in the kitchen and sometimes
    even cooks. It doesn’t make him any less
    in charge of things. And were a Dominant
    Female to help me in the kitchen (which I have had) it doesn’t take away her
    Dominance and my respect for her as a Domme.
    Your argument is invalid, author.

    #9 Holy SHIT!
    This…this…is…wow. First of all, being a
    lesbian is more than just enjoying oral sex.
    You can be a straight woman and enjoy oral sex and never even THINK
    about being with a woman. It’s called
    pleasure, we enjoy it. I’m bisexual and
    enjoy both males and females. My Man is
    great at giving oral. If a man learns
    how to give oral and how to actually please a woman, then he wouldn’t have this
    “fear.” However, it can be argued that a
    man is going to go gay if he likes his cock sucked because a guy knows far
    better what to do. So again, invalid
    argument. Sexual orientation first of
    all isn’t a ‘choice’ and second of all isn’t going to magically change because
    someone likes oral sex. Either they are
    straight, bi, lesbian, gay, or asexual, or pansexual but most misuse that
    word. Marijuana DOESN’T lead to “heavier
    drugs” either since most stoners I know have never touched anything other than
    pot (and maybe shrooms but again since they are naturally occurring I don’t
    feel they are a heavier drug, nor do I feel it will lead to something
    else.) “Gateway” drug is simply
    something created as the War On Drugs was made in order to propagate the idea
    that one drug will lead to another. Since caffeine is a drug, it should then be
    argued that it would lead to crack or meth because both work better at giving
    energy and keeping your ass awake.

    Anyone who reads
    this list and says “Those are good reasons” or thinks that they shouldn’t go
    down on a woman just because of ANYTHING on this list, needs a fucking slap
    upside the head.

  • Loven the Taco

    Some people risk lung cancer because they enjoy smoking cigarettes. I think it’s worth the risk, going down is all part of the experience! Maybe we should evaluate how many people we sleep with….

  • Lovendataco

    Some people risk lung cancer because they enjoy smoking cigarettes. I think it’s worth the risk, going down is part of the experience!

  • Daniel

    This is satire, right?

  • sb

    I hope stupid motherfucker misogynist noah gulliver rots in hell. Guess WHAT, WOMEN SHOULD NEVER EVER PERFORM FELLATIO ON MEN.

    • Ivan Urkinuov

      Of course they should! Studies have shown it is good for them.

  • mexicutioner

    Aww you’re never getting laid…either turn the light on in the closet or come out

  • Joshua Paul Hawkins

    Is anyone else deciding to NOT take this article very seriously as the websites top story is apparently a phantom nipple slip from a celebrity most of us have never heard of?

  • David Sirmons

    I agree with the health aspects of his observations. Recently I was found to have a Candida Albicans overgrowth in my intestines from eating too much high sugar foods. When I also found out Candida is the yeast in a woman’s vagina, it pretty much broke my heart because I realized I’d have to likely avoid tasting a woman ever again. A candida overgrowth is potentially deadly, will cause leaky gut which allows matter, waste and candida yeast to get into your bloodstream. It’s damnably hard to get rid of and can cause you (like it did me) to nearly die from malnutrition. After 13 years of being alone, I hoped to find a woman to love, to enjoy intimacy with in every way, and now this intestinal problem which will worsen if I were to ever again do something I haven’t enjoyed in 13 years. :(

    • Ivan Urkinuov

      See! PROOF!

    • David Sirmons

      Well, my condition didn’t happen from giving oral sex to anyone, guaranteed, since I’ve not had sex in 14 years. Alas. The yeast is already in the intestines of every human being on the planet, in small amounts. The more sugar one eats, the more the yeast overgrows and chokes out the bacteria lining the intestines which protect the sensitive walls from the damaging effects of the yeast. And for those women here saying they would not stay with a man because he doesn’t give oral sex to a woman, shame on you. That’s the same as saying a man is justified in leaving/disregarding a woman because she won’t give HIM oral sex. Such a qualifier is venal and selfish, not to mention focused on transient things which don’t really say anything of the other person’s heart or soul or character or worthiness for a loving and healthy relationship, but it does say much of YOURS. If any woman here would refuse to be with a man that refuses to give her oral sex, you don’t deserve to be with a good man at all. You DO however deserve to be with a man just like yourself whom places sex and sexuality higher than character and higher than the capacity to be a loving partner. I almost died from starvation during the acute phase of overgrowth, where the yeast literally is consuming every calorie before your body can even make use of it. The smallest amount of sugar I eat gives resurgence to my condition and it commonly takes almost a year of vigilance for anyone to get it back under control, for the intestinal walls to fully heal. There is NOTHING worth going through that daily, guaranteed pain again for something so unavoidable as eating, and if foregoing giving oral sex to a woman will prevent that daily agony, then so be it. Any woman that would disregard me while knowing this condition and my efforts to overcome it is unworthy of my attention, period.

  • mijan126

    Anyone want to take bets on how many successful vs. unsuccessful relationships this guy has had?

  • carl

    Did this moron actually get paid for writing this? How did the publisher excuse paying for this? What a load of [FILL IN THE BLANK]

  • Brandy Grote

    Everywhere one gender is mentioned (and acts relating to that gender), merely replace it with the opposite.

  • Nikki

    Who ever wrote this please come out of the closet or go kill yourself.

  • Shawna

    Summary:

    1-5 : OMGDISEASES (because only the vagina carries STDs)
    6. She’ll think she’s in love with you (OHTHEHORROR),
    7. Male pleasure will be reduced in regular sex (UM…NO),
    8. You’re no man if you do this (my reply: If your manhood depends on dominance built upon a permanent withholding pleasure from your partner, you’re no man worth having…as if dominance can’t be found in GIVING pleasure from either side…give me a BREAK).
    9. She’ll go gay (well that’s just science, isn’t it? WTF)

    15 THOUSAND people have liked that article…my guess at demographics:
    1- Men in no relationship who can’t hold one and never bed any woman more than a handful of times,
    2- Men in relationships with very unhappy/unsatisfied women, and
    3- Men (and women) with some sort of (sad but likely treatable) religious or abuse-based psychological hangups about oral.

    OH HEY…I just wrote this awesome alternative list:

    1. Because he wants to be a terrible lover.
    2. Because he wants to be a terrible lover.
    3. Because he wants to be a terrible lover.
    4. Because he wants to be a terrible lover.
    5. Because he wants to be a terrible lover.
    6. Because he wants to be a terrible lover.
    7. Because he wants to be a terrible lover.
    8. Because he wants to be a terrible lover.
    9. Because he wants to be a terrible lover.
    10. Because he wants to be a terrible lover.

    • steelcast2009

      Could you add men who dont want to die from throat cancer to your list .

    • Ivan Urkinuov

      Shawna:
      Vaginas DO carry diseases, other diseases, and spiders.
      A man does not need a woman’s love, only the use that nature created.
      Just because you choose to buck nature is no reason to not listen to the truth that the man who wrote the article is saying.

  • ———

    straight men are so dumb i dont get it

  • Lauren with a brain

    Funny how this guy forgets to mention how going down on a guy carries the same throat cancer risk for women!!! Ignorant sexist asshole.

    • steelcast2009

      not true, a penis is lot more cleaner than a vaggina, plus women have been doing it for thousands of years unlike cunnilingus which is a relatively new phenomenon.

    • Ivan Urkinuov

      Steelcast is right. It actually benefits women to go down on us, the other way is unnatural and abhorrent to nature.

  • Sharolyn Wells

    What a load of crap!

  • Sharolyn Wells

    And of course, a man can’t get these by performing oral sex on a man who’s had his cock stuffed up the anus of another man!?

  • Sharolyn Wells

    What a gigantic load of crap!

  • The Egypsy

    Ah, yes. Most men want a woman to fall in love their something substantial like their mind or their penis. Which in most cases is the same thing.

  • grumblemama

    Lol this is weird and sad and was obviously written by a Forever Alone.

  • steelcast2009

    Reason 5 eek ! Nothing like getting the biological matter of the guy that is banging your wife in your mouth. gross .

  • Nicole

    Well…that was the dumbest thing I’ve ever read.

  • Likegettinngoral

    What masogonistic ass created this bullshit?

  • Entropybabe

    Good point re: disease transmission. “Safe sex” right? No worries, there are “barrier protection” products for both men and women – use them. Most of the rest of the excuses given were lame and/or ridiculous. Probably satire, or at least, one would hope. If the author is serious – the only thing he should be allowed to date is his own hand.

  • bob the sucker

    IF you don’t wanna suck pussy, close your mouth

  • DMac78

    i’ll take the three health related risks as potentially valid but the last 6 are just outrageous…To the author of this trash…learn how to give good face instead of bordering on the ridiculous to out right sexist…..

  • peter pan

    Vise versa it works both ways for any oral

  • NoahGulliverisapussy

    This guy is a fucking loser. He clearly has no idea how to pleasure a woman so he feels the need to convince every other man that he shouldn’t either in order to level out the playing field.

    I hope you get herpes from the hooker that you’ll inevitably need to buy in order to get laid ever again.

  • jack

    This writer must be a woman-hating homo. What a loser!

  • Lotus68

    What a joke!!! Only in America would you read BS like that…. If I don’t get cunninlingus, then no BJ from me either. Oral sex is one of the best things ever. I rest my case.

  • Dee

    If it’s sarcasm,fine. If not, no bj’s for this guy, ever!

  • bd

    Truly a woman’s man :)

  • MopsyLaidlaw

    This article should be called “9 Reasons You’ll Never Get Head.” Because if you’re not eating pussy, you’re not getting head.

  • patata

    What the fuck. This is, like, the most sexist thing I’ve read in my entire life. What about chances of women getting VIH, infections, or any of those diseases, when giving a blowjob? What I do agree, is this guy is afraid of loosing dominance in his relationship, which is stupid, since equality is the key for any successful relationship.
    And it’s funny how the penis is said to be a sustainable reason for loving someone. Wow. Simply astonishing. I hope your penis falls off so you’re not able to displease a woman in bed anymore in your entire life.
    In case you’re a troll, which is quite likely… well played, but anyway you can go fuck off.

  • Lela

    … And this is why I’m a lesbian.

  • Kafei’s Grandpa

    This article is just filled with so much bullshit. What a narrow-minded douche.

  • Solitudinarian

    Nearly all medical informations in this piece of… satire? I surely hope so… are complete nonsense. Nobody has ever heard of a “deadly case of oral candidiasis”. The only true claim is that a genital-to-mouth transfer of HPV can cause oral or throat cancer in rare cases, but sucking a penis is far more likely to infect a person with HPV than licking a clitoris.

  • Tommy12345677

    Oh my god. Please read this response if you read those completely absurd 9 reasons. The moron that wrote this is part of the reason that women are sexually unsatisfied some (or a lot) of the time. Last I read in a survey, 80 percent of women orgasm from cunnilingus, while only 20 percent do during intercourse. Let me quickly break down this idiotic list. I didn’t even want to respond, but I need to for the sake of women that
    love cunnilingus and orgasms (which they deserve as much as men do), and for
    the sake of men that love giving women head (including me).

    1) So basically the first few parts of this article might as well have said “make sure your partner doesn’t have HIV and all other STIs before you go down on her.” That’s painfully obvious. I’d like to hope you’d check with your partner about diseases and infections. And if she happens to NOT have HIV, STIs, yeast infection, etc. (i.e., she’s clean) then of COURSE it’s safe to go down on her. It’s so stupid to point out that you shouldn’t eat a woman out IF she has diseases. No shit. But if she is completely clean and disease free, why the hell wouldn’t you go down on her? Michael Douglas should have asked about HPV apparently. But if I know a woman is clean, and I like her, I’m always up for goin’ down.

    2) The article says to make sure you don’t get her poop on you from her very close butthole region. Again, no shit. Hopefully the woman you’re going down knows how to wipe her butt after she uses the toilet and I’d like to hope if you’re going down on a woman that she showers as well. So should that stop you? No. A woman that doesn’t shower and doesn’t wipe her butt properly should be the only thing stopping you.

    3) Then it says that your penis cannot complete with your tongue as far stimulation goes. NO SHIT. That’s the reason WHY men use their tongue. If you have a better option for stimulation at your disposal, why the hell wouldn’t you use it? Did this guy think that women wouldn’t want penis at all, ever again, if men started using their tongue? Most women simply aren’t that selfish. I GUARANTEE that if you pleasure a woman with your tongue and make her cum, she will want to have MORE sex with you. Women don’t simply start hating penises inside them just because they’ve felt good cunnilingus. God that was such a stupid point. It’s actually opposite; the more
    you pleasure a women, penis or tongue, odds are she’ll want to pleasure you
    back even more as well. Read She Comes First for some great insight into making a woman cum first (with literal step by step instructions). You make a woman cum first and she’ll be amazed that you’re actually different than most selfish guys that only want to cum themselves. She’ll realize that and most likely want to give back in return.
    And after that, she’ll want you, and only you, to come back to her bed because
    she knows she’s with a man that can actually get her to orgasm.

    4) Then it says, as if it’s a fact, that a woman will fall out of love with you if she falls in love with your tongue. This is so beyond stupid that I can’t believe it’s posted. That isn’t the case at all. Relationships are all varied and dynamic; no one can say for certain if
    she’ll fall out of love with you for any certain reason or not. All relationships change and it depends on the two people involved. But just because she falls in love with your tongue doesn’t mean she’ll eventually not love you. In fact, it might be the thing that keeps her around; if you’re a master of eating a gal out, you’re different than most guys, and different in an awesome way. Thus, you might make her realize that you pleasuring her is a great reason for her to stay. And then it says to make sure she falls in love with the right thing, e.g. your mind, or your penis. What the hell? the article
    says it’s not okay for her to fall in love with your tongue, but it is okay for her to fall in love with your penis? Give me a break. Uh, I was thinkin (and call me crazy) that a woman and man should fall in love with each other as people, as personalities. If she falls in love with your tongue or penis as a by-product, I guess all the better. But people should be in love first, and of course it’s good to love things about them. But saying that a women should just fall in love with your penis instead of your tongue is so moronic. She should fall in love with YOU and then perhaps your penis AND your tongue. Because if you love a woman you should go down on her (if she likes it and wants it of course). She should love you as a person, your mind, your body, your soul, your intellect, your sense of humor, your penis and your tongue. You should her as a
    person, a mind, and you should love her pussy as well. You should both love EVERYTHING about each other, I’d like to hope. That sounds like a great relationship.

    5) I actually was amazed when it says the man should be dominant in a relationship and also not get on his knees for a woman (conventional proposals anyone?). Relationships between a man and a woman are about friendship, love, sex, etc. If you feel like you’re losing dominance as a man by going down on her then you’re a big pussy in my book. If a woman wants it, men should man up and go down there. When guys tell me they won’t go down on a woman, I actually don’t consider them dominant males; I consider them squeamish, selfish, assholes.

    6) And last: the article states if you go down on women, they’ll turn into lesbians. Wow. It states that only women can have that “intimate knowledge”. Yeah right. There is no great and unsolvable puzzle to the female orgasm. It’s actually fairly easy to accomplish if you simply communicate with your partner, practice a bit, and maybe read a good book on the subject. And furthermore, synergized with good communication, if you throw in persistence and keep on trying, I guarantee any man can be as good of a cunnilingus master as any woman; we’ve all got brains and tongues, so we can all make it happen for a woman. Other lesbian women don’t have this intimate unattainable knowledge; sure they might be experts or better at it then some men, but it doesn’t mean men can’t do it. The only reason a man couldn’t be as
    good at cunnilingus as a lesbian is because he doesn’t CARE to be. If you want
    to be as awesome as a lesbian when it comes to oral, you can be, I assure you. That
    point was like saying that if women give me head, then mean will turn gay
    because only other men know how to suck cock properly. Seems pretty ridiculous
    when you make that comparison…

    This moron wants men to join together to stop this terrible thing called cunnilingus. What a joke. We’re living in the year 2014. Women absolutely deserve cunnilingus if they want it. And I for one absolutely love licking pussy. I love making a woman that I love cum. So bottom line, yeah, make sure she is disease and infection free; make sure she showers. And after all that is good, there is absolutely no reason why you shouldn’t go down on a woman that wants it. Absolutely none. I hope people tell the writer of this article what an idiot he is for the rest of his life. Oh, and he’s most
    likely gay if I had to venture a guess. Or scared of women and vagina in
    general (stay dominant my hairless cowardly friend). A true straight man loves pussy and loves his woman enough to go down on her (again, if she wants it). The end. Everyjoe.com should be ashamed for having this article up on the Internet. I suppose they still follow Freud as well and think that clitoral orgasms are juvenile and woman
    should only have orgasms from the vagina (says Freud, as if they’re even different
    things). And they probably think that you should only have sex in the missionary position AFTER marriage only. No anal either. What a bunch of scared, irrational, short-sighted, obtuse, outdated, backward thinking dandies.

  • Alex

    This is the stupidest shit I’ve ever read.

  • j

    this is a joke, right?

  • Ryo

    Noah Gulliver, this article is horrible. You have dissapointed me heavily.

  • lakawak

    9 reasons why the “Writer” of this will never go down on a woman: 12. Women dn’t get excited about sleeping with bloggers in their mommy’s basements.
    OK..that is just one.

  • http://www.girlwithadirtymind.com Girl With A Dirty Mind

    We can die at any time, yet we all try to control our lives, every single second of it. Sex is there to be enjoyed. I love my boyfriend sucking my clit, and I’ll never stop sucking him. It wouldn’t surprise me if this article was funded by fucking overzealous religious fanatics. Let’s not forget that pheromones are in the genitals.

  • Nick Benson

    Another tip to make oral pleasure better for him is to make it more special. Look at your man with his member in your mouth and this will be a sight he won’t forget. Also, make some noises during oral sex. Give him some moans to work with. This gives him more stimulation to work with and it makes him feel like you are really enjoying yourself and that gets him turned on even more. Plus, moaning with him in your mouth will send these tiny vibrations all throughout his member and his body and this will drive him absolutely wild.CHECK OUT — http://tinyurl.com/m6hhu4k

  • Ba’al

    The smell of an excited, clean snapper get me hard as a rock. I love it. I’ll assume the risks. Nobody lives forever.

  • ema rockurworld

    apparently some girl’s pussy has really messed him up pretty bad.

  • Clover81

    AHAHAHAHHAHAHA! OMG This is the stupidest thing I have ever read. This guy has to be a virgin neckbeard of the highest order, who’s just scared of vagina. Sorry dude you will never get laid. NOTHING ON HIS LIST IS AN ACTUAL FACT!!

  • YourNumberOneHater

    I’m done with your 1950′s attitude. Go home.

  • Cal

    You do realize that most of these points can be solved with a little something called a “dental dam”, right?

  • Common Sense

    This is the most bullshit I’ve seen for awhile. Yes, disease does pose threat, IF a partner has an STD. Most of those can be prevented by not having sex until you’re fully committed to someone. I didn’t even read the last one. You’re full of shit. Dominance? Really? Also: McFeel. I think you’re my best friend now.

  • justme

    I don’t really enjoy it either, I’ve been with 2 guys and neither really knew what they were doing. Hopefully I will come to enjoy it in the future.

  • John Doe
  • Truthteller

    Only beta males will submit to a female and go down on her. Pretty pathetic if you ask me.

  • suomynona

    two words, Dental dam.

  • Elizabeth Santana

    This should be titled “9 reasons why I will always be single”

  • rw

    but it tastes good , is there a rehab available for us cunkies…cunt junkies

  • g

    Hahahaha I can’t believe you ratards actually thought this was anything but satire

  • Yooyung

    What a load of BS!!! I love cunnilingus and so does my wife. Its a huge part of our love making…..You sir are a prize idiot. Go and suck your boyfriends shlong!

  • Guest888

    I’m sorry but this is disgusting. “A successful relationship between a man and a woman features the man in the dominant role” Thats what the society is teaching women : to be submissive to their man, to give blowjobs and not to receive cunnilingus. And the saddest part is, ALOT of women are okay with that, with the fact that their actual pleasure is optional in a sexual relationship, and i think that a lot of women don’t even have any idea of what it feels like to be pleased since all they do is please their man while thinking this actually please them [women] enough

  • DrTeaHC

    number 8 isn’t true. just smack her with your dick afterwards and tell her you’re hungry for a sandwich.

  • Sm

    My boyfriend & I perform oral on each other all the time to make the sex last super long. He loves it & I love receiving

  • KKKawKayzhun12

    according to number 4 i should stop tongue f#(king my womans a sshole.. and i suppose the a ss to mouth with prostitutes is bad too?

  • name

    This has got to be a joke, unless this guy just really is a misogynistic bastard.

  • Sunny

    Hilarious! My man loves sucking my puss and I love him for it. I’ve never met a mature man who doesn’t love giving and receiving. I assume this guy is either sixteen years old or has some serious social problems. Any sexual contact carries the risk of disease, I could get cervical cancer from my man’s cock but I’d rather love and life to the full than be a slave to fear.

  • DrSmackTalk

    Only one I agree with is number 5. And barely.

  • nrsg14

    Oh waaaaah you have to advocate for the HPV vaccine because all of a sudden it’s important now that it can affect you.

  • nope.

    “May lead to a fatal case of oral candidiasis” Oral candidiasis, also known as thrush, a common fungal infection infants get in the back of their throat and are able to overcome.

  • papple

    I will NEVER stop eating the V!!! NEVER!!!

  • ArizonaBayBombshell

    “Even if you’re a master swordsman, your penis can’t compete with your tongue in terms of creating clitoral stimulation.”

    No man’s tongue can compete with an adult toy. And I personally still prefer sex to toys or oral, by leaps and bounds!

    “Even if a male reaches the peak of his ability at the art of cunnilingus, he can’t compete with the intimate knowledge a female mind provides when engaging in this activity. Thus, if a woman truly loves oral sex, she will eventually find herself in the arms of a lesbian. Think of cunnilingus as being comparable to marijuana and lesbianism being comparable to hardcore drugs such as heroin and crack. This gateway is best to be avoided.”

    And just like with Marijuana, the Gateway theory is total bunk.
    Female minds differ as much as our pleasure preferences. Why are you so scared and turned on by lesbians? I’m a bisexual female, I’ve done a lot. I’ve been with men of all shapes and sizes, and beautiful women with talented hands and tongues and impressive toy collections. I’ve tried both forms of oral from both sexes, and generally, I think men are better at licking pussy. Women tend to be either too tender or too aggressive. Men I feel are better at sex in general, as they’re less likely to be lazy in bed. I’m crazy about sucking cock, but I don’t care really if I ever get eaten again in my life. You know what my favorite thing in whole world is? A perfect 7 inch dick pounding away at my shaved, disease-free, wet pussy… then marijuana…. By the way, would it surprise you if I said I’ve never tried or had any interest in heroine or crack?

    If you don’t want to eat pussy, that’s FINE. Don’t. But don’t go around saying it’s a poisonous deathtrap!
    Sex should be a good time, that’s all. If you’re not into something, don’t do it, and in turn, don’t try to force or pressure anyone else to do something they don’t want to do. That’s lame and rude. Dominance is cool, but not force. You just have to discover someone sexually compatible with you. Some guys love eating puss, some guys hate it, and their dicks go limp at the smell of it. It’s all fine. But no more nonsense!

    Ladies, you too. If sucking dick were the same as eating pussy, there would be continuous streams of cum flowing out of his dick the whole time you were blowing him. So I don’t even wanna hear that old, tired, incorrect argument! I won’t pretend eating pussy is the same as sucking dick, but several of those health risks mentioned early in the list can applied to blowjobs too. I take the risk because I love to suck my man’s dick, it’s fucking delicious, but I even transfer my own to myself (I’m delicious too) by alternating from sex to sucking when his temperature rises too high, to give him space to cool down without losing his grand erection.

  • Gina

    Stupidest sh!t I’ve ever read. This guy won’t be pleasing too many women. If you’re worried about discharge vs. secretion, use dental dam. There’s nothing wrong with being safe and enjoying one another. It’s not fair for a man to receive all the pleasure, some woman cannot achieve orgasm through stimulation. Don’t cheat your women bc of your own insecurities!

  • fedup

    utter bullshit

  • cleo

    I feel bad for a man who feels this insecure about his connection,sexuality and health…
    Emetophobia.Most of us just suffer from the fear of failure- Thank god!Wishing you to eventually bridge that gap and find yourself at ground zero, wher ” hope” resides.
    ventually bi

  • chadsuperhero

    I know when someone is making excuses when they give you five or more meandering reasons not to do something rather than one or two good reasons. Any bro that’s right with himself ain’t got no problem doing right by his woman.

  • MikeBrendan

    Ladies and Gentlemen, Noah Gulliver is an idiot.

  • Duard

    Oh for God’s sake…

    I have been happily performing cunnilingus on women for over forty years. I would be dead by now if any of these reasons were true.
    BTW, we know that God is a man because, if God were a woman, sperm would taste like chocolate.

  • DXW

    This is retarded for so many reasons…

  • Stubborn Lover

    I’m still going to do it, I don’t care if I die, as long as I went happy and so did she!

  • Alex

    But it’s fun though.

  • Megan

    To never ever ever get a blow job again. Thank you for this enlightening piece of obviously well researched and thought out journalism. Men worldwide will thank you when they never receive another blog job again.

  • Penelope Crowe

    Maybe he should rewrite this after he moves out of his mom’s basement and uses up the gallon of hand sanitizer she gave him for his birthday.

  • KamicDebt

    Whoa! The guy who wrote this is such a LOSER!

  • Arian

    This guy cant be for real… Wow

  • Arian

    Clearly this guy should just stick to sucking dick LMAO

  • Rage induced

    I really don’t mean to offend anyone but – Noah, are you retarded?!?!

    You’re actually suggesting that men should never please there women? FYI, not every girl can get off on dick alone. Why don’t you write an article on why women should perform opals sex on men, or is that just stupid thinking because it’s completely different that men get head, but women? OMG!! Run!!!!!!

    Dude, why don’t you grow up?!?

  • Jennyfer24

    That’s right guys, don’t eat the kitty and your girl will turn to a lesbian. Ladies it’s unacceptable to stick dick now so guys will have to turn to gay men. Enjoy fellas! :)

  • Ma’at

    Whoever wrote the article is very ignorant.
    Damn near every reason they gave why men shouldn’t do women are the same reasons why women shouldn’t do men either. Wow
    With it are risks either way it goes and it’s up to whoever is going to perform the oral sex to know enough about the person the choose to perform it on.us

  • What the

    Clearly a bloke that’s all about himself… What is your opinion on blow jobs??? What an IDIOT!!! Do u have any idea or care to satisfy a woman :o) Crawl back under that rock you came from… IDIOT….

  • LadyO

    Hilarious…. wow, my husband of 25 years is going to be sorry when I tell him I am a closet lesbian! If any of this bullshit was true we would have an epidemic of people dying of these named afflictions and women sneaking off to be with lesbians instead of their own men. HaHa – Also… many men, even in BDSM lifestyle satisfy their women with oral sex…In fact… want to dominate your woman more? Give her fantastic sex – oral, regular, anal, whatever she wants and she’ll do anything for you. Too few men really satisfy women sexually. Sometimes because they are uneducated, selfish… or just clueless that their woman is not satisfied. I am so glad my husband is none of the above. ;)

  • Ole Hiljaa

    Is this “article” a joke? I mean, it has to be.

  • Thinker

    Michael Douglas lied.

  • Jonathan

    Number 9 got me so hard xD….
    But the real funny part is all the angry lesbos’ comments

  • Anonymous

    This is the most outrageous crock of s**t I’ve ever read. Whoever wrote this article is the definition of a moron. Got a good laugh out this d bags opinions though.

  • mff

    I assure you, if you expect us to suck your dick but refuse to go down on a woman ever, this is much of a sure-fire way to turn us in to lesbians. Another excellent way to turn more women to lesbianism is to spout more of your ridiculous bullshit about how men have to be dominant. Welcome to the 21st century.

  • B-Rad

    Damn, I think I need to test the scientific veracity of his claims – through some very thorough hands-on research. Any women up to help me? C’mon ladies, it’s our due diligence. For science and stuff.

  • Bill H

    Reasons 1-5 do carry merit; however reasons 6-9 are totally ridiculous. Please reread #6 and see how it’s worded completely the opposite way it should be for an anti-cunnilingus sentiment. In an equal partnership, like a romantic relationship, the dominant role should be shared! Finally, cunnilingus is not the gateway to lesbianism – female attraction to other females is that gateway. As I see it, the withholding of cunnilingus would be the gateway to cheating – if she wants it bad enough she’ll find someone willing to perform it. This claim is as ridiculous as saying fellatio is the gateway to gayness in men – however, if we want it bad enough and our women are unwilling to perform, we’ll go out and find someone willing to provide it to us!

    Although I believe that the first 5 reasons do warrant some concern, both partners can employ mitigators that should make cunnilingus reasonably safe and enjoyable for both partners. These would/may include, taking a nice cleansing shower (possibly together) prior to oral sex, or perhaps any type of sex. Getting tested together for STI’s, including HPV before sex with a new partner, and remaining monogamous during the relationship will certainly go a long way. Both partners need to maintain decent personal hygiene, and try to smell good for their partners when engaging in oral pleasure. While it is certainly true that STI’s can be spread through cunnilingus, the same is certainly true with fellatio! Finally, if a man flat out refuses to perform cunnilingus, he shouldn’t expect to receive fellatio either – unless there is a valid reason (i.e. the woman has a confirmed STI or HPV) or it is her personal preference to perform oral sex but not receive it in return.

  • Dudeforcunnilingus

    Dude, I’m telling you to go see a shrink. Mostly because of the last few. If you’re in a relationship for the dominance aspect of it, get a fuckin dog. People aren’t here to be dominated. Yes it may be easy to assume that is the case (especially in the…lesser educated portions of the US and world) but “going down” on a woman is amazing. Not only does it excite both man and woman, having her open up like that is just exhilarating. Lets reverse the situation; do you like getting head? (If you said no, you’re a liar). A woman or man who takes a cock in there mouth (circumcised or not) is accepting the same risk. So lets not be biased here. If you don’t like going down on a woman, fine. You’re allowed that. But let me tell you what, cunnilingus isn’t going to push all womanhood off to the ominous “Lesbian syndicate.” If that’s your fear, then you’re doing that more so by posting this and not going down on women than trying to be the Arbiter to all Manhood. Dude, just relax. So some woman wasn’t exactly what you wanted her to be. Maybe even abusive. Doesn’t mean ALL woman who want a little excitement and pleasure are evil. Now, I’m also not saying you need to ask every woman on the street if they want it, but a relationship is about trust. I know I’m not putting my cock into an unknown woman’s mouth. Hey, just get to know her. And if you’re consorting with women who regularly handle STD’s, then maybe you shouldn’t be having sex with them anyway.

    Also, if you’re going to state that “studies show” in your post, it might be a good idea to give links or references. Otherwise its just you babbling some nonsense shit. For instance “Studies show that concerned individuals who post anti-cunnilingus blogs are not only poorly educated, but also have serious bigotry issues, mother or other adult women issues, and will most likely end up in failing relationships where their partner will be abused, harassed, or at the very least severely dissatisfied.” See, no grounds. Just opinion.

    I’m a guy and let me tell you what, cunnilingus is amazing.

  • lazlodelarental

    I’ve convinced thousands of lesbians they were on the wrong team as soon as they experienced my face buried between their legs and my tongue lashing at their kidneys.

  • Rev Faensen

    Pussymunch, -bah! Humbuggery.

  • Rev Faensen

    Curses on the censorship and a pox upon the house of the moderator.
    Before the summer solstice.

  • Brian Hinkel

    All the ladies with men who will not do this, I will! The potential disease is worth it once that pulse rate goes up and those thighs start to tremble! Mmmm… ;-)

  • Happywithmyhubby

    Another excuse for a man not to give. Unbelievable. I’m sure you don’t disapprove on the woman performing for you tho right? Men have been doing this for centuries. You hear of a hand full of stories, saying that it MAY be related to this act so of course you have to run with it. So selfish. Your not worth the time.

  • JP

    Wow, this guy seems to be the most UNEDUCATED writer I have ever had the displeasure to read. someone needs to go back to school and retake sex ed!

  • Angry Woman

    This article is crap!! And as for the other assholes who either agrees with this asshole AND refuses to do it…. What is wrong with you?!?!

    Well, as a woman, I’m one of those who WON’T give a man head unless they gave me head…..

    Yeah, and bjs are not a health risk at all… I hate this article and I wish it would GO AWAY and never surface on a search engine again!!!!!

  • Jocko

    I muff diving, practiced regularly, will solve your financial problems and make your children behave better!

  • Hannah

    Fact is, if you can’t or won’t do it, she’ll probably go for one who will! Same goes for woman who doesn’t blow!
    lolz

  • Kevin McLogan

    The ladies must really dig you. 1-5 is essentially the same reason, and the rest is just you being a misogynistic pig. Me, I like making my woman happy. And enjoy it too.
    “Dominance in the relationship” What century are you living in?

  • Steve

    whoever wrote this is a fucking cretin and needs to die in a fire