Commitment. The right girl will be looking for the right guy (you). Though she might still enjoy going out and partying with friends, she still understands the value of being in a committed relationship and isn’t interested in meaningless flings or one-night stands. Perhaps she’s been through complicated relationships before where things haven’t always panned out the way she wanted. But that hasn’t deterred her outlook or her principles when it comes to love, trust and commitment.
Trustworthiness. A lot of bitches be shady. And this goes beyond infidelity, though it certainly is a big part of it. At the end of the day, a trustworthy, loyal girlfriend/ wife will always keep your best interest in mind. She might get loud at times and demand her needs or throw around her weight every now and again, or be moody or what have you. But deep down, you’ll know that she acts the way she does because she cares…about YOU. At the end of the day, you can count on her to not screw you over. Because really, in a serious relationship, you are totally exposed – feelings, vulnerability, etc. You have to trust that that person won’t take advantage of you in any sort of way. That’s why they say love is like handing someone a loaded gun and trusting that they won’t use it on you.
Unconditional Love. Someone that will love you no matter if the chips are up or down, that sees the good in you when no one else does – not even yourself. That’s the type of woman you want by your side and on your team. Someone that can bring the best out of you, but check you when you need it. Because, contrary to popular belief, truly loving and caring about someone is also being able to tell them the truth when that person starts to go off on a tangent, riding a unicorn on a rainbow somewhere. It’s easy for a person to get too carried away, and sometimes you can’t trust that your closest friends will give you an objective opinion. But wifey will love you so much she couldn’t bear to see you fall off. And even if you did, she’d still be there to support you, to motivate you, and to love you no matter what the circumstance (even if she has to say “I told you so”).
Emotional Stability. This one’s a funny one. It’s been my experience and observation that many people that appear to be emotionally stable are in truth, quite the opposite; they’ve spent so much effort procuring the façade of stability that they are actually ticking time bombs ready to explode. On the flipside, there are many people out there that are confident enough to express their emotions freely, regardless of the emotion and how it will be perceived. More often than not, I find that these people have the ability to manage their emotions better than the former. That’s not to say that if your girl looks, talks and walks like a schizophrenic that that equates stability. But what I’m saying is the definition of being stable means having a thorough understanding of how you react to different things/people/situations, and being able to channel those emotions in a healthy manner. Everyone has moments of happiness, sadness, anger, frustration, etc. Emotionally stable doesn’t mean you never have an angry or sad emotion – or even the ability to suppress it. Emotionally stable means acknowledging that you do encounter these feelings from time to time and know how to react to them in a healthy, rational way. And PS, there are a few situations in life where flipping out is exactly the appropriate response. Stability is being able to decipher between what situation deserves what reaction, and adjusting yourself accordingly.
Respect. She has to respect your likes, dislikes, needs, wants, hobbies, friends, family – the whole shebang. And of course, vice versa. If she doesn’t respect you but is still dating you, there’s a good chance she’s also playing you. Otherwise, she wouldn’t be with you.
Sense of Humor. She’s got to be able to laugh, at the end of the day. Laughter is the lube to getting out of tense, awkward situations, and also, it’s the key to staying emotionally sane.
Physical Chemistry. Well, obviously, sex and intimacy is a must – not just because of the nookie factor, but also the physical (non-sexual) aspect, as well. The act of holding someone, cuddling someone, making out with someone, sleeping next to someone… That’s all a part of the physical chemistry that you will have with the right woman.
Honest Communication. No lying; facts only.
Married? Find out what to do when the wife quits giving blow jobs from the Ask EveryJoe Show