So you’ve been dating this girl for a while, and things are starting to get serious. You like her and think she’s great wifey material, but something inside you – that little gut instinct of yours – is telling you that taking it to the next level might be a bad idea. Below are five major signs that could mean you’re just not ready to commit, even if that’s something you’d eventually like to do. Read on to gain more insight about your current commitment-minded status.
You’re on the rebound. Perhaps you’ve recently gotten out of a relationship, and the breakup was drama-filled and stressful. Especially if you were with your previous girlfriend for multiple years – sometimes that alone is a sign that you need to spend some major time alone, to get to know yourself again, and regroup. Many times we automatically jump from relationship to relationship in order to ease the pain of a bad breakup, or because we are afraid to be alone. Though not always the case, many times rebound relationships are simply distractions from current heartbreak – which is okay. But it can also be a sign that you’re truly not ready to commit.
You’re coming off WAY too strong. Perhaps you are being very eager and wanting to move quickly with the girl that you are dating. You’re already thinking about when’s a good time to get a place together, and she’s already met your parents and family after just a few weeks together. Sometimes men view a goal (i.e. relationship and marriage) and execute with the quickness with whom they think they want at the time (women refer to this as “his cab light is on”). If you’re more invested in the timeline of your dating/relationship milestones than you are her, this could potentially be a major sign that you should pump your brakes and just let things unfold naturally.
You seriously can’t stop checking out other women. Perhaps you’re on a date with your current girlfriend or lady friend, and every female you come into contact with – the bartender, the server, the hostess, the food runner, the manager, the patrons – you can’t take your eyes off of. You find yourself fantasizing being with these women and feel bad for yourself that you’re stuck in an exclusive dating situation (relationship or otherwise) with someone else. This is definitely a sign that you are not ready to commit, as if you were, you would already know that one good girl is worth a hundred other casual encounters with random women. If you don’t think of your girlfriend in this way, then surely you are not able to commit.
You don’t make her a priority. Perhaps you have lofty goals in several different areas that take up most of your time – whether it’s that potential job promotion, taking care of your aging parents, your Fantasy Football League – whatever. But, if your girlfriend doesn’t even make the Top 5 list of priorities, then this is a definite sign that you are not ready to commit to her. Commitment means being in a relationship where both parties are committed and dedicated to each other – one in which you spend lots of time with each other and love each other deeply. If you find yourself wanting to take off and hang with buddies every weekend instead of her, it might be time to reassess why you are in this relationship in the first place.
You have yet to introduce her to your homies. Perhaps it’s been several weeks – months, even – and having her meet your bestest buds hasn’t even crossed your mind. When men are excited about a girl, they want to introduce her to their friends. It’s a way of integrating the two worlds together. If the urge to bring your worlds together is nonexistent, then that means you are not ready to be in a committed relationship, which is basically a mash-up of her world AND yours together.