Board Games We Should Make Into Movies Before Hollywood Ruins Them

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Tue, Apr 1 - 10:48 pm EST | 8 months ago by
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The terrible movie adaptation for the wonderful game Battleship made over 300M at the worldwide box office. If Hollywood has now run out of ideas so thoroughly they’re mining our favorite childhood board games, maybe we should beat them to it instead. These are some board games we need to turn into movies before Hollywood can ruin them.

Any other games you think should become movies? Let us know.

Jenga
This would be about two world-renowned architects who play a real-life Jenga game as they attempt to build the world’s highest skyscraper during a never-ending sandstorm in Dubai.

Tagline: “This holiday season – it all comes falling down.”

Nude Jenga
Source: Rice and Beans

Mouse Trap
Mouse Trap would be the sequel to the 90s classic, Mouse Hunt, but would involve a spectacular color palette, wild traps and somehow, the posthumous efforts of Chris Farley.

Tagline: “Turn the crank, snap the plank, boot the marble down the chute, watch it roll and hit the pole, knock the ball in the tub, hit the man into the pan – THIS SUMMER.”

Monopoly
The ‘Monopoly guy’ from Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls would star in this romantic comedy about a short, old, bald man who finally finds the perfect woman, but can’t seem to Park his Avenue in her Broadway.

Tagline: “He’s up to his monocle in trim.”

Hungry, Hungry Hippos
This would be a jungle horror movie where hungry, hungry man-eating hippos stalk a hapless safari group on vacation in Africa.

Tagline: “Did you know that hippos can run at speeds up to 30 mph? Now you do.”

Hungry Hungry Hippos
Source: Tumblr

Candyland
This would be like Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, but without any of the consequences; just a bunch of kids released into a sweet, colorful wonderland of candy, cake and happiness. Each movie stub comes with a pound of chocolate to snack along with during the film.

Tagline: “Insulin has met its match.”

Kid in a candy shop
Source: Nourish Water

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  • darkcirclequeen

    I would love to see hungry hippos in the theater – who would be the starring actress?