A prank lawsuit was filed against Johnny Manziel in Florida by someone going by the name of Samantha Schacher. The hoax lawsuit asks for $25 million in damages for emotional distress and sexual harrassment. Whatever jokester filed the suit probably didn’t think it would actually get past the clerk. But it did… and the details in the “lawsuit” are hilarious. There is hot dog and vienna sausage talk, a 4.5-inch measurement and so, so much more…
Using Samantha Schacher’s name
First of all, if you don’t know, Samantha Schacher is a co-host on the Dr. Drew show and contributor at CNN. The address on the complaint is CNN’s headquarters in Atlanta. Why did the prankster use Schacher’s name? Because she’s hot? Who knows!
The Dr. Drew threesome
One of the most hilarious “allegations” is that Manziel wants Schacher to have a threesome with himself and Dr. Drew. Now that’s a sex tape that I’d have to download!
The Clowney reference
Throughout the document, there are numerous references to Manziel’s small penis size, but it also talks about someone else’s penis too. “Johny Manziel said he Skyes with Judereon Clowney in South Carolina, Clowney sent Manziel a Pic of his penis which was 9 inches, and Manziel showed it to me on Skype and asked me if I could handle that monster.” Let’s just assume among all those other typos that they mean “Jadeveon” not “Judereon.”
The NCAA violations
Some of the funniest parts of the prank lawsuit against Johnny Manziel are the references to NCAA violations such as cheating on exams, receiving lavish gifts from Texas A&M, taking steroids and smoking weed in the locker room.
The plug for Samsung
“Defendent Manziel has been sexually harassing me since Valentine’s Day, 2013, calling me non-stop on my Samsung Phone and sending me naked selfies of himself showing me his penis.” Nice subliminal advertising!
“Don’t want no short, short man”
We all know the real lyrics…
Get ready for that song to make a comeback!
Though it’s obvious that the lawsuit is a prank that went to far. I just want to make it clear that I’m not making light of anyone who is really sexually harassed by an athlete (or any one else for that matter). It’s going to be interesting to see how quickly this one gets dismissed. It’s Florida — so you never know what might happen. Good luck Johnny!