I hear you’re running for President in 2020.
I reacted to the news the same way I reacted when you said you were starting your own fashion line; the same way I reacted when you bum-rushed Taylor Swift as she accepted a very hard-earned award; the same way I reacted when you lost your shit on a nationally televised fundraiser and declared “George Bush hates black people!”; the same way I reacted when you said your wife deserves to be the face of high fashion.
Photo by Jason Merritt/Getty Images
I don’t think you’re a bad person. I think you’re a sad person. I think you’re a genius and like most geniuses you are both mad and completely narcissistic. I think your mother was the only thing holding your feet to the ground and when you lost her you lost your anchor. It’s clear to me you’ve been floating around aimlessly looking for something to root you ever since.
So I don’t want to berate you right now. I’m a mother and I also have a son I adore, as I’m sure your mother adored you. I know what it feels like to parent a son and to watch that son flounder and succeed. I obviously didn’t know your mother, but I know the love of a mother for her son and I watched her with you as you were breaking into your celebrity status. I have a feeling she’d have some choice words for you these days. I wanted tell you that if I were your mother, I would too. This is what I would tell you:
Son, that hole you’re trying to fill…it’s bottomless. You will never have enough awards, accolades or Instagram followers to even begin to fill it in. You will never have enough money or enough recognition or enough time in the studio. You will never have enough. There is only one thing that can fill that void, only one person. You have a Creator whose best plan for you did not include all the pain and rejection you’ve suffered, but Who nonetheless is willing to be there to repair the damage from the choices other people made that hurt you. Find your satisfaction there.
That need you feel to remind everyone of how special you are all the time? It’s not attractive, it’s not right and it’s not the hallmark of a leader. Being a pop star doesn’t really make you a leader, but now you’re a father and a husband and that most definitely makes you one. It’s time to stop acting like a spoiled brat and start acting like the head of your household. That means acquiring and modeling humility and a heart of service. A leader in a family understands he is the least important member of the household. He serves quietly. He does not self-aggrandize but rather proves his worth through action, faith and acts of service. He does not need to remind the world of how special he is because he never thinks about that. He is reminded daily of how special his family is, and how they are more valuable than any praise, fame or accomplishment in the studio. Lead your family, son. Watch how the Lord blesses you when they come first – not just first with your material provision but first in your expressions, words and deeds as well.
You don’t have anything to prove to anyone. You’ve come a long way from very little. You’ve pushed the boundaries and limits of what you thought possible and you’ve made a life for yourself when there were so many times you were ready to give up. That’s something special. That’s something good and amazing. Stop acting like your biggest problem is that people don’t appreciate your genius enough. That’s just a symptom of that big ol’ hole in your heart you keep trying to fill. It’s bottomless, remember? Make the choice to walk away from it every day and you’ll stop feeling the need to prove something to your fans, your family, the teachers who discouraged you, the dad who left you, etc., etc. You have nothing to prove. You’re a father now. You need to pour that energy into loving your family.
To sum it up, child…look around you. Your father-in-law is a woman, your mother-in-law just tried to trademark the term “Momager,” your wife and your sisters-in-law make their living from letting total strangers witness their every disastrous decision, your fashion line is horrible (I’m sorry, it’s just really, really bad) and despite your years as a bona fide artist you are best known for rudely interrupting important moments.
Find an anchor. You’re sinking and it’s painful to watch such a talented artist succumb to self-indulgence and delusions of grandeur.
Top photo by Kevin Winter/MTV1415/Getty Images For MTV
Kira Davis is a writer, video blogger and homeschool mother of two. She has interviewed President Obama and appeared on Fox News, The BlazeTV and the Dr. Phil Show. Kira is a dog person but she owns a cat anyway. You can find her on Twitter @RealKiraDavis.
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