Dear Frightened Woman Considering Abortion:
Today is the 42nd annual March for Life in Washington, DC and I’m thinking of you. I’m thinking of every one of you who is sitting wherever you are right now, unable to concentrate on schoolwork, your job, your parents chatting to you over a family meal, your friends talking about whatever your friends are always talking about. I can picture you right now. You’re scared. You’re wondering what’s going to happen to you, what’s going to happen to your future. You’re probably wondering if your life is over.
As a mother I completely understand your fear and I understand all the reasons why you might be thinking about seeking out an abortion. It sounds easy. A little money (in some cases, none at all – at least on your part), a couple of hours, some discomfort and some pain meds, and all of that fear and uncertainty can be completely erased from your life. The people on TV make is sound so easy. No fuss, no consequences.
But I want to tell you – in a spirit of love – that there are consequences to pregnancy, whether you end the life growing inside you before she breathes fresh air or whether you carry her to term and become a mother yourself. This is life, and you are the life-bringer. You are changed already, even if you don’t know it yet.
It’s right to be scared. You must have so many thoughts. “Will he hate me? Will my parents hate me? Will my friends judge me?” This is not just an issue of politics. This is your life! This is what we call a “crisis moment” and until that crisis is resolved that “moment” will seem like an eternity.
I’m a writer but this situation often creates a loss of words for me. There is so much wrapped up in becoming a mother. Indeed, you are a mother already. That’s why you’re so scared. I want you know – you have options. Your life is not over. You are not sullied or tainted or shamed. Your future isn’t over. Your happiness hasn’t been stolen.
You have options.
There is a future after this, not just for you but for your baby. It may be the scariest thing in the world right now to consider carrying a child for 9 months but what is at the end of that will (without a doubt, and this is the only true guarantee you will ever have in your life) be the most incredible sense of joy and gratefulness you’ve ever experienced, for yourself or for someone else. If you’re not sure about what that joy looks like, watch this viral video of two parents meeting their adopted baby for the first time. THIS is the power you hold right now, and it’s incredible.
One of my closest friends in the world was right where you are. Kassie was 18, pregnant and scared – like you. She was alone – like you. Every year at this time she reaches out on Facebook to young women like you to remind you that you are not alone, and that your life is not over. She knows the sting of judgment, she knows the confusion and she knows what will come next if you let it.
And so, dear reader, dear sister, I’m handing over my Kiraspondence this week to Kassie, who wrote this on Facebook…she wrote this to you. She wrote this for you. Please read – and if you would like to get connected with Kassie or any other support group, drop something in the comments and I will make my way to you and personally connect you. You are worth it and so is your baby.
There are crisis moments in most people’s lives–moments when we think our “life is over.”
As adults, we learn that is never the case. There is always a new beginning.
But our first experience with a real crisis is the most difficult. It’s a fear we have never felt before. It involves panic and an almost inability to see our way out–especially if we are very young.
I was thinking about listing all the great things in and about my life.
I started…but they are countless.
Then, I thought about all the ways I wanted my life to be–how it didn’t always go the way I wanted it…
but how I’ve always been surprised to find that God knew my real heart’s desires even when I didn’t.
He’s kind of funny like that.
He leaves little bread crumbs on the path when you’re going in the right direction–little “yesses.”
I had a crisis when I was 18.
In September of 1986, I was horrified to realize I was pregnant.
My “life was over.”
In my shame, fear, and panic I thought of every way out.
Thank God, by His grace and mercy, I recognized the lies crashing around my brain like a wrecking ball.
I’m not a heroine. I played with life.
I’m not special. I did what I was supposed to do. Nothing more, nothing less.
My circumstances led me to go the adoption route.
I’m told they wept when he was placed in their arms.
Why am I telling you this?
I want you to know your “life is not over.”
I’m here to help if you want it. I’ll walk with you. I will.
I was thinking about listing all the great things about and in my beautiful life.
I started…but they are countless.
There is one thing I don’t have.
In life and love,
Photo by tomasso79/Getty Images
Kira Davis is a writer, video blogger and homeschool mother of two. She has interviewed President Obama and appeared on Fox News, The BlazeTV and the Dr. Phil Show. Kira is a dog person but she owns a cat anyway. You can find her on Twitter @RealKiraDavis.
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