5 Summer Blockbusters That Are Totally Going To Blow Your Mind

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Mon, Apr 17 - 12:47 am EST | 8 months ago by
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    I have a friend whose father likes to remind him that his college tuition was paid for by Apple stock he bought way back when. It makes sense: a previous investment helped pay for a future endeavor. The same applies to the movie business (and the drug trade, kids!). Did you enjoy Arrival? So did I. Paramount Pictures likely helped finance that film with the money they’ve made from the rebooted Star Trek franchise.

    All of those smaller, more intimate movies you love are usually paid for by the excess cash studios earn. When do studios traditionally make the bulk of their money? In the summer blockbuster movie season, of course.

    As we enter that very phase, here are five upcoming blockbusters that we are most excited for.

    Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 (May 5)

    Guardians of the Galaxy remains one of the Marvel Cinematic Universe’s most original entries and by far the one with the most personality. It’s such a good underdog story that Vince Vaughn might challenge it to a game of Dodgeball.

    If you had told me in 2009 that the chubby dude in Parks & Recreation would lead an obscure, second-tier comic book movie to $773 million at the box office, I would have nodded politely and agreed because I hate confrontation. But in my mind, I’d be laughing at you like the schoolyard bully.

    Can writer/director James Gunn catch lightning in a bottle twice? You bet you Xandarian ass he can.

    Captain Underpants: The First Epic Movie (June 2)

    Full disclosure: I just watched this trailer for the first time today. I have no idea if this movie is going to be any good. But I absolutely loved the book series when I was a kid and since my spirit and dreams are slowly being crushed by the cold, harsh realities of adulthood, I desperately need Captain Underpants to deliver.

    Don’t let me down, Dreamworks.

    Spider-Man: Homecoming (July 5)

    We’re all in general agreement that Spidey’s extended cameo in Captain America: Civil War was the shiznit, yes? People still say shiznit, right? You know what, it doesn’t matter. I’m rolling with it.

    Adding Peter Parker to the MCU gives everything a whole new flavor and lays the groundwork for the future of the Avengers. Whereas Captain America is, like, 94 years old and Tony Stark is starting to get up there, Spidey is just a high school kid. He’s not a billionaire playboy or a super soldier; he’s just some nerd who likes to crack wise.

    Tom Holland is a perfect fit in the role and the screenplay by John Francis Daley and Jonathan Goldstein appears to nail the loose tone. This is going to be a fun movie.

    War For the Planet of the Apes (July 14)

    I honestly feel like I don’t even need to explain this one. Look at that trailer, man. A crazed Woody Harrelson is fighting with an ape! Monkeys are devising battle strategies! Shit is popping off!!!!

    If that doesn’t get you jacked up then your girlfriend must be very bored.

    Dunkirk (July 14)

    Has Christopher Nolan ever made a bad movie?

    *Checks IMDB

    Nope, Christopher Nolan has never made a truly bad movie. If the hype from CinemaCon is to be believed, the action and cinematography of Dunkirk is nothing short of breathtaking. You give Nolan a World War II story, IMAX cameras and fighter planes, you’re going to get something worth the price of admission.

    Beyond that, Nolan is the rare filmmaker who can ground mainstream blockbuster fare with real nuance and emotion. Dunkirk looks to be a mix of all the best qualities we love about movies.

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