Press Conference: Tearful Kathy Griffin Blames Sexism For Backlash

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Fri, Jun 2 - 3:39 pm EST | 6 months ago by
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    Disgraced comedian Kathy Griffin held a news conference on Friday where she, together with her lawyers, attempted to quell the firestorm of controversy surrounding her outrageous ISIS-inspired photo shoot that saw her pose with a likeness of President Donald Trump’s severed head.

    Griffin astutely noted that her career is most likely over thanks to the sickening gaffe, but she blamed the Trump family for having “mobilized their armies” against her in an effort to get retribution for the offending photo.

    “I’m going to be honest,” Griffin said, choking up. “He broke me, he broke me, he broke me.”

    While she insisted that the video was a parody of Trump’s comment about then-Fox News host Megyn Kelly having “blood coming out of her eyes, blood coming out of her wherever,” Griffin acknowledged that she “made a horrible, horrible call.”

    “Trust me, if I could redo the whole thing I’d have a blow up doll and no ketchup,” she said.

    However, things took a bizarre turn when Griffin began soapboxing as if she were the victim of a smear campaign orchestrated by Trump himself.

    “If you don’t stand up, you get run over,” she said. “What’s happening to me has never happened ever in the history of this great country. Which is that a sitting president of the United States and his grown children and the First Lady are personally, I feel, personally trying to ruin my life forever. He picked me, I’m the easiest target.”

    Griffin even reached into the realm of social justice to explain why her career is now in shambles: “It’s a bunch of white guys trying to silence me. This wouldn’t be happening to a guy. This is a woman thing,” she whined.

    When asked about a report claiming that Trump’s 11-year-old son, Barron, was traumatized by the image after seeing it pop up on TV, civil rights attorney Lisa Bloom jumped in.

    “Allegedly” traumatized, she clarified, adding: “You’re assuming everything the Trumps say is true.”

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