130,000 Inflatable Breasts Lost At Sea

Message in Bottle From Castaway Says ‘No Need to Rush Rescue Ship’

Well, I guess it’s better than being stranded on an island with your volleyball…

Australian authorities said they are looking into the disappearance of 130,000 inflatable breasts that were lost en route from China.

Officials suspect foreplay.

The Australian men’s magazine Ralph was planning to include the boobs as a free gift with its January issue in a unique “buy one, get one free” promotion.

In a new promotion, the magazine said anyone who provides information that leads to a recovery of the salacious cargo will be eligible to win a free motorboat.

Law enforcement agents are attempting to track the double-D disappearance by following a school of dolphins who were not only seen smiling more than usual but also swimming lazily on their backs smoking cigarettes.

In other news, Disney announced it will be making a sequel to The Little Mermaid in which Ariel gets implants and works as a stripper to help put Sebastian through culinary school.

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“Under the Cs…”

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Photo credit: Everystockphoto.com