1UP Feature: Overcompensating

Bob Mackey’s latest feature for 1UP instructs developers on “How to make the perfect game for today’s testosterone infused teenage males.” All the vital categories are covered, including the Protagonist, Women, Weapons and Story.

Developers are slowly realising that women are more than hoseless creatures who come together with males in the fall season for mating purposes; sometimes men and women actually engage in non-sexual activities together, including competitive video games. Today’s adventures include more female characters, but those wacky game companies got stuck halfway through their efforts. Sure, they introduced female characters, some of whom even star in their own games…but then someone called a coffee break before bothering to render serviceable clothing on their lead lassies and things have kind of stayed that way.

Or as Mackey puts it:

“[M]aking a woman your protagonist obviously comes with many difficulties, most of which involve constantly telling the press that your game is actually taking a feminist stance by showing that a fictional, genetically perfect woman can find empowerment by donning a ripped halter top and cutoff jean shorts. That being said, any game with a female lead must reward the player for their achievements by unlocking a selection of dehumanizing special costumes that should really only be equipped when mom leaves the house.”

(Or after mom drops you off at the Village of Sadonia at level 1 and tells you to have a good time, sweetie. She trusts that you’ll buy yourself some nice sensible wayfarer’s clothes at level 4 for 30 gold. Breaking your mom’s trust is uncool, Zanthar Lady of the Night.)

Image copyright Konami