5-minute shoeshine
UPDATE: Some excellent additional suggestions and commentary over at Metafilter.
I believe it’s pretty well established that I like to find the path of least resistance for a given task. Shoeshines are no exception. The real question is whether shining shoes is even worth doing in the first place. I think it is. Not if you’re wearing Vans to work every day, of course. But if you’ve got occasion to wear a decent pair of leather dress shoes, you’re probably going to need to shine ‘em up once in a while. There are some pretty good shoeshine tutorials out on the web–I like this one. However, most people say that it’ll take 30 minutes to shine the shoes. That’s unacceptable if you’re late getting out the door and you look down and notice that the shoes are ratty. I’ve got my shine down to under 5 minutes, which includes both shoes. Admitedly, it’s not exactly a premium shine, but it fakes it pretty well and it’ll last several days. Now, just to be clear, I’m utterly clueless about shining women’s shoes. I’m guessing it needs to happen and that the process is pretty much the same. But I dunno. Standard disclaimers apply.
My dad taught me how to shine his shoes, back when I was knee-high to a
grasshopper. I know now that having your kids shine your shoes really is the path of least resistance! My son isn’t old enough yet, but his day is coming… A few years after I learned how to shine shoes, I slapped together this little shoeshine kit holder box thingy in middle school woodshop. Dad is fortunate enough to not need to wear dress shoes anymore, so I get the funky kit. Here’s what’s in there:
- Some inexpensive liquid polish. This stuff has a foam applicator built-in, so you don’t get your hands messy.
- Some decent paste polish, for when time isn’t an issue.
- A horsehair applicator, for the times when I use paste (not often).
- A horsehair brush. Don’t skimp on this, it’s essential.
- Some soft chamois-type buffing cloths. I guess you could use an old tshirt if you had to.
The actual shoeshine process is super easy, but you’ll add some time if your shoes are really manky. If you’ve been walking in the rain a bit, then you’re probalby gonna have manky shoes. You’ll need to take a minute to get the worst offenders off the leather. Water works fine, so does a dirty shirt. The dirty shirt method takes longer to get the stuff off your shoes, but the water method takes longer to dry. I generally go with the dirty shirt–I mean, you’re gonna have to wash that shirt anyway, right?
So assuming you’ve got shoes that don’t have tiny dirtclods hanging off them,
crack open your liquid polish in the appropriate color and start dabbing it around one of the shoes. If you start seeing foamy bubbles, you can stop squeezing the bottle and just spread the polish around. You really only need to worry about the toes and the heels. The middle part is tough to get shiny, so I usually throw some polish on there, but don’t worry too much about it. Just be sure to get good coverage on the toe and heel areas. Now set that shoe aside to dry a bit and do the same thing to the other shoe.
When you’ve finished applying polish to the second shoe, go back to the first shoe and buff it all over with your horsehair brush. Doesn’t matter if the polish isn’t quite dry, just buff it all over until there aren’t any wet spots of polish.
You can actually stop here with decent results. I usually take an extra 30 seconds to put on the final shine on the toes and heels, though. The way to get that final shine is to get your chamois cloth or clean tshirt 
and, with your foot in the shoe, hold onto the ends of the cloth and move it quickly from side to side while applying pressure to the shoe with the cloth. You’ll quickly see the shine surfacing. Repeat on the second shoe and you’re on your way.
This is the same kit Dad passed sown to me. I think its pretty much standard from the Royal NAvy from the late 60s and early 70s. and I believe all my uncles in the forces have the same kit. Although I think the liquid polish probably came a bit afterwards :D
Love it… I learned to shine shoes when I was in ROTC in high school. Now, I can’t stand seeing my shoes any other way. A shoe-shine hack I learned from a friend: if you’re using paste, whip out a hair drier and blast your shoes once the paste is on, then let it dry. The hot air helps melt the wax and lets it get in to all the creases and cracks on the shoe, giving you a better shine in the end after you buff it off.
“Manky” is a great word, btw.
When I was knee-high to a grasshopper in the biz world, I once asked one of my “bosses” if they had one piece of advice for me. It was a naive question, but I was curious. The guy turned and, with a serious look on his face, said “Wear shined shoes, always.”
So, thanks for the tutorial. I needed it.
That stuff works fine and takes about 30 seconds. Five minutes is far too long. And you call yourself a slacker. Pfft.
Silicon Avatar, your link goes to an oily sponge. You’ll note I’ve got one in the deconstructed picture of the shoeshine kit. They suck. Yeah, you can do a 30 second shine, but the shine only lasts 30 minutes. And don’t even think about walking in the rain.
My dad always shined his shoes on Sunday morning (he’s a minister). I’ll always remember waking up on Sunday mornings to the smell of shoe polish and the swish-swish sound of the horsehair brush across the leather. Just reading your shoe shine process brought it back to me.
Dad had (still has, actually) a nifty wooden bucket-thing on three legs that holds all the tools at just the right height (when seated). The lid flips over and has a shoe rest for holding the shoe while you polish it.
Thanks for triggering a great memory.
Pantyhose. 30 second shoeshine. Nuff said?
Spooky parallel cosmic nudging again. I used a similar kit to shine my shoes before I headed out to PDX Monday morning. Followed pretty much the same process.
My dad also taught me how to do a “spit shine” (you don’t actually use spit, though I guess you could) using water to get an extra shiny set o’ shoes.
Taking good care of my shoes has led me to notice other people’s footwear more often than not, now and it’s surprising just how much you can learn from a little observation. Inversely, I feel almost naked now without shining my shoes first thing after getting into work or before meeting a new client.
Here’s a few tips I learned over the years:
- First thing upon getting a new pair of shoes, remove the cheap “quartermaster shine” with some rubbing alcohol or saddle soap. Saddle soap also comes in handy for repairing salt damage (though it’ll restart the shining process).
- Use a old shirt or cloth baby diper to apply paste polish, wettened with a little spit. With your finger, start by making small circles (about half-dimes) from the toe to the heel. You should have just enough polish on your rag to make what look like little oil swirls … not enough to make a dull cake.
- When you’re done, forget the horsehair brush: use a package of lady’s nylons streched taut.
After a few applications you’ll have a finish any drill sarge would be proud of. Once you’ve started doing it this way, you’ll see how stingy using liquid applicators is … however, maintaining a good spit-finish is very difficult. I still wonder how Andy Dufrane made it out of Shawshank with his shoes glistening so prettily.
Great tips..here’s one more..buy a shoe tree and your shoes will look even better!
The trick is to spend a bit of time filling in your shoes with wax, then just keeping them up with thirty-seconds a day shining with a soft, almost-dry cloth and the oil you get when you press down on the Kiwi wax. This way you can see your ass-crack through your pants. Also, two fingers and small circles. Do not buff, it just scratches the mirror finish.
First thing upon getting a new pair of shoes, remove the cheap “quartermaster shine” with some rubbing alcohol or saddle soap. Saddle soap also comes in handy for repairing salt damage
This is the way my pop taught me to keep my shoes. Thanks for the memories. Also, the old shoe box motivated me to make one. I got tired of keeping polish in a laundry room cabinet. I mirrored the old standard design.
i’m in rotc and need to shine my shoes. i do not know if it works but i’ll find out.
http://www.theconsumerlink.com/Surefoot/detail/TCL+32390200000/16
The above link contains the “Max” Shoe Shine sponge. Most of you may think this is just a quick fix, but this sponge will shine, restore color, as well as waterproof. Best shine I’ve seen from a sponge.
Those Maxsponges do work very well! Best thing since sliced bread! HOOAH!
Never use liquid polish, the stuff is horrable. If you can’t do a proper spit shine, just rubbing the shoe polish on and buffing with the big brush is fine for a quick shine.
A proper shoe shine requires a 2 damp cotton balls and cold water. One cotton ball for application and one cotton ball for buffing. The cotton balls should be wringed out before application and buffing.
-Jeff O’Hara
http://blog.zemote.com