7/01 ECW: Give Me A Reason To Love You
July 1, 2008 by Michael Sedor
Filed under MMA-UFC
ECW Results and Highlights
Matt Hardy, Finlay, and Hornswaggle def. The Miz, Morrison, and Chavo Guerrero
Atlas Ortiz def. Armando Estrada
Mark Henry vs. Colin Delaney
Image details: Coachella Valley Music And Arts Festival 2008 – Day 2 served by picapp.com
As we all know, ECW got the serious short end of the WWE Draft stick. Here’s a summary:
Wrestlers (of note) Lost: CM Punk (now WWE Heavyweight Champ); Kane; Kofi Kingston (now Intercontinental Champ); Shelton Benjamin.
Wrestlers Gained: Matt Hardy; Mark Henry; Finlay; Hornswaggle; Super Crazy.
What that means is that I’ve lost four of the seven reasons I watched ECW. The other three being The Miz, Morrison, and Evan Bourne. I’ve gained 1 1/2 reasons to tune in on Tuesday nights (Finlay and Hornswaggle). That leaves me with 4 1/2 reasons to watch which I’m pretty sure is less than seven.
In short, I’m giving this week a shot. ECW has to earn its way onto my Tuesday night schedule.
**
Segment One:
Mark Henry says he’s ECW’s savior. I wonder why I’m watching a show where Henry could be deemed a positive addition. He announces a Mark Henry vs. Colin Delaney (!?!?!?) Main Event. I’m confident Tuesday’s will be all mine once again.
Segment Grade: F.
**
Segment Two:
Matt Hardy, Finlay, and Hornswaggle vs. The Miz, Morrison, and Chavo Guerrero
The only good ECW roster members are ALL in the match (save Evan Bourne) and we predictably get a really good match. Great back and forth action, good wrestling, and good drama.
Segment Grade: B+. Does ECW have a chance? Then again, all six of these guys drifted from brand to brand before the draft so I’m guessing I won’t have to watch ECW to see them again.
**
Segment Three:
To make up for the talent drain ECW is introducing new wrestlers. Teddy Long calls it the “Superstar Initiative.” The first is Atlas Ortiz a/k/a Atlas DaBone a/k/a Rich Young formerly of Florida Championship Wrestling. Atlas is an ex-professional footballer who spent some time on the Kansas City Chiefs practice squad, in the CFL, and in the Arena League. He’s facing Armando Estrada and we’re ready to give him a chance.
But not for long. He’s pretty lifeless in the ring. He’s quick but sluggish and not exciting at all. He’s Interesting looking but utterly uninteresting as a wrestler. Of course he beats Estrada which disappoints us. At least Armando has a personality.
Segment Grade: F.
**
Segment Four:
Mark Henry beats super-dweeb Colin Delaney but the match lasts longer than expected. At one point Henry throws Delaney upwards and its a wonder Colin doesn’t hit his head on the Jumbotron. Wilford Brimley’s Liberty Medical commercial about “keeping your diabetes in check” is only slightly less exciting than that bout.
Segment Grade: D. Looks like I’m finally free from ECW and Mark Henry’s ugly mug. Thank heavens.
Image details: Mark Henry USA served by picapp.com
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Check out what others are saying about this post...[...] Last week I asked ECW to give me a reason to love it. It didn’t. So really, I shouldn’t be watching. But I am because the good people at the Innovative Beverage Group sent jabandgrapple.com some of their new “anti-energy” drink: Drank. The beverage promises to “calm and relax you” with ingredients that include Melatonin, Rose Hips, and Valerian Root. My ECW hate has been so virulent as of late that I need some relaxation. I need, as the drink boasts, to “slow my roll”. [...]