8 Simple Rules to Solve Work/Life Balance
January 8, 2008 by David Zinger
Filed under Business
In a recent set of interviews, the Harvard Business Review revealed that work/life balance is the major challenge for managers and leaders in 2008.
Here are my 8 simple rules to restore work/life balance:
Ask yourself: Am I ready, willing, and able to change? Are you serious about creating better balance or is it just something you’d like to do, involving a passing thought as you gobble fast food at your desk and miss your child’s basketball game while you work 60 hour weeks?
Put life before work. I detest the term work/life balance. How did work ever get put before life. Turn this phrase around and see it as life/work balance. Get your priorities straight: Put life first, for without life there is no work.
Think dynamic balance not static balance. Static balance is a state you achieve and can hold for a long time. In the flow and flux of life and work don’t expect static balance, rather monitor when work gets out of balance and make constant and continual dynamic corrections.
Know you no’s and affirm your yeses. We must be able to say no to work in order to say yes to family. If work is becoming too consuming and your manager is asking for even more what would happen if you said, “no”?
Don’t B.S. about who you are working for. I have heard a few people who overwork say they are doing it for their families yet I don’t hear their families asking them to work more. More often I hear their family saying they would like to have them around more.
Apply instant empathy to gain valuable perspective. If you are overworking and have a family pause before the next task and think about how each of your family members (spouse – children) are experiencing the impact of your work being out of balance. Is there something you need to be doing differently? Right now?
Don’t tell a four year old that you are spending quality time with them. Don’t justify your lack of time with your family by claiming that the time you spend with them is quality time. Quality is good but it is not a substitute for quantity especially with a four year old.
Talk your way out of teetering at work. Talk to a trusted advisor or mentor to get help if you are out of balance. Talk with your family. Talk with someone from your employee assistance program. Talk with your manager. Talk with yourself. And even more important, listen to what they say and act on what they tell you.
Do you remember the TV series 8 Simple Rules? John Ritter, the actor who played the father in the show, died in 2003. He was a key character but the show went on without him.
The show will go on without you. What role do you really want to play in your work/life balance?
What are your rules for work/life balance? Leave a comment about what you do to maintain balance.
Photo Credit: Teeter Totter Crossing by http://flickr.com/photos/susan_w/523478994/
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David Zinger is a Libra. The Libra symbol is balance. Although David does not practice astrology he does practice dynamic life/work balance.
I got a little life-lesson in this a few years ago.
I got a little life-lesson in this a few years ago that paid off handsomely.
Early in my career, and being in a demanding profession that I love meant it was easy to fall into working 12 – 15 hours a day, including putting in hours over the weekend as well. The one benefit of this was being noticed as an achiever and my career progressed well, although my personal life suffered through failed relationships and friendships. It got to the point where it was difficult to let the work go, and I felt that if I didn’t put the time in, I wouldn’t succeed.
This continued for 6 or 7 years until I left to start my own business.
One of my first contracts was with an IT giant and they had a very firm and strict rule. Hourly-paid staff could not work more than 40 hours unless there was an extremely (out of the norm) reason.
Suddenly I was faced with having to stop what I was doing in the middle of a task where normally I would soldier on and finish it regardless of how late in the day it got. This taught me a valuable lesson and really shocked my system back into normality. I learned you *can* walk away, and it *will* still be there tomorrow.
Fast forward to today, and my wife and I now have 12 month old twins, and I am far more interested in finding the right balance now that allows me to spend time every day with my boys. In fact recently I turned down a very promising position with another large financial that would have paid far more than I currently get, purely because I would have had to work much longer hours and would very likely not see much of my boys at all during the week.
The financial gain was just not worth it to me.
Mark,
As the father of 16 year old twins I am thrilled that you are finding balance with the boys and your family.
So interesting that the company limiting your hours would help you gain perspective.
Thank you for one of the most heartwarming comments I have read.
David
Excellent article!
As a former manager at a Big Four accounting firm – one that truly believed in work/life balance, I can attest that a large number of my staff, and many “boomerang” ex-employees stay on/or return because of the firm’s incredible flexibility policies.
How do I maintain work/life balance? By promoting the concepts covered above into my team and peers. This helps create a support infrastructure that allows the team to stay productive as well as extremely flexible.
Side note: “was the major challenge …. in 2008.” Do we mean 07?
John:
Thanks for brining me into the present tense…yes it is not was but hopefully will not always be! I made the change right away.
It is interesting that flexibility is such a key as when we are physically flexible we often have better physical balance too.
Thanks for the feedback on the article.
David
David, will you please send me references to the HBR series? I couldn’t find it/them. Thanks!
Matthew:
I can do better than that. My post, that is already written for Thursday will outline the HBR site and give a link to the video – interviews with manager in the streets of Boston. All our readers will get the information this way.
David
Rosa Say at Managing with Aloha Coaching (see 2 comments above for a link to the site) is also focused on balance this month. I encourage you to visit her site as she is planning to discuss more around dynamic balance in the near future.
Great article David! I often forget the balance and then things like today happen: I am home sick and I am doing all I can to get some sleep.
So either you can be balanced, or life will balance you.
I hope I get the hint soon!
David – you touched the topic I am all over with it lately – WLB. You wrote “Put life before work”. For me it was wake up call. I was all contrary to this. Work was my life. It is still, but now it is my second life :). I simply adopted simple mantra “Who’s the first and the best customer?”. My family. This simple change rocked my world and the world of my two daughters and my wife. I see them much more and enjoy each and every moment. I just LOVE my job. But it never comes on expense of my family since this simple change
Great post! Thanks
alik
Phil –
Thanks for the feedback partner. At least you stayed home, it is amazing even during sickness how many will just press on.
Alik -
Good for you to ask the key question. We do need to have “custom” time for our key customer! Keep on rocking in the dynamic flux of balance between work and the women in your life.
David
Really good article – got me thinking ‘again’ about moving or quitting my day job, just now have to weigh up the opportunities against the negatives.
Nick,
All the best on weighing the opps and negs of moving or quitting your day job. A big decision indeed…don’t let it knock you off balance.
David
My contact details are for home and I work full time. I shared this internally at work and everyone has loved it – and is passing it on further. I will go home and spend a few more hours researching and digging out articles for others to enjoy from my home computer… instead of “playing” with my family.
So, interesting lesson for me.
I note too… that you ended your article still using work/life, not life/work as you recommend. But I like life/work. Such a good one liner…. I will take this on board and now go home. Good night :>
xc
Hi Charlie,
I am glad it was helpful. I am now planning to do more on life/work balance over the next few months. You are absolutley right that I did end with work/life balance — if everyone is using the term then I thought I should not fight it too much. But what the heck, I will stay with life/work…thanks.
David
David:
Thanks for thought provoking 8 rules. Putting life first is key but I guess work takes first spot in “work life balance” because without work there would not be much to live on. Sadly for most people, work is all encompassing and guzzles huge amounts of time and energy leaving very little for other aspects of life.
Prem:
Of course without life Prem there is nothing to be able to work with. I like the use of the word guzzle with taking energy with overwork.
David
finding balance with the work and family is a hard thing to do when you want to recive more money and you really like your work.
Finding balance between work and life is a tough thing to do, definitely. I think you really find balance when you have congruency in both areas, when your passion and talents are aligned with what you do for money and please.
http://jonathanmead.com – Authenticity, Clarity, Balance