Al-Qaeda Now Franchising. Like Quiznos. (Daily Show Video)
February 17, 2008 by Sean Kelly
Filed under Business
(FranchisePick.Com) It’s Official. Al-Qaeda is now franchising, at least according to this video from Comedy Central’s The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, broadcast on February 14, 2008.
In the humorous feature, Jon Stewart reports that “documents seized from the terrorist group’s lairs [which] include numerous application forms for potential recruits, with questions like ‘What is your alias’ and … ‘Are you willing to drastically relocate?’” He then asks resident expert John Hodgman for an explanation.
Hodgeman matter-of-factly replies: “Of course they have application forms. Annual reports, March Madness pools, secret Santas … well very secret Santas.”
“You have to understand,” Hodgman continued. “Al-Qaeda is now a sprawling multi-national organization just like any other They need systems in place to keep up the quality of terrorism we’ve come to expect. You know the motto: ‘With a name like al-Qaeda, it can’t possibly be good.’”
“You’re talking about al-Qaeda like it’s a brand,” said Stewart.
“Sure, a brand with franchises,” said Hodgman. “There’s a corporate umbrella overseeing an affiliation of independent owner-operators committed to their mission of doom. It’s really the Quiznos model.”
Hodgman then intoduced “Hodgman’s 5 Habits of Highly Explosive People” which gave suggestions for the aspiring al-Qaeda recruit.
He emphasized sending a resume that will “emphasize the dislikes” and spicing up at the interview about “who are some of your favorite scapegoats — and don’t just say the Jews.”
Dress is also important, because “you never want to walk in there looking like you have something to live for,” and finally you should “always send a thank-you note.”
IS AL_QAEDA LIKE QUIZNOS?
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Wow, I always thought that anything could be franchised and now I know I’m right.
Hi Sean,
For the first time ever, I have to disagree with your posting of this silliness. I think that the whole thing [comparing The terrorists to a franchise of sorts} is classless and tacky. I would never post this tackiness {to put it mildly} on my blog.
Joel Libava
Thanks for sharing.
I would never leave a comment on your blog calling you tasteless and tacky.
I’m good with diversity.
Hey Sean, the post got me to thinking. “There’s a corporate umbrella overseeing an affiliation of independent owner-operators committed to their mission” pretty much describes the various flavors of religion ecumenically speaking—NOT just the Christian varieties. Also a good description for gangs, such as the Crips and the Bloods, sororities, fraternities, even social media. The list seems endless.
As to tasteless and tacky they apply to many things stemming from us humans.
Whoops! My Bad.
Sean, I see that YOU did the original post. I am still not calling you tasteless or tacky, or your post.. I am only referring to the tasteless and tacky gig that The Daily Show did. I enjoy your insights. Some things really wig me out.
Joel
Joel: I do all the posts, since my writers are still on strike.
My weakness for the delightfully tacky yet unrefined goes back to my early years as a Hooters Girl. I just never outgrew it. If you think that’s tacky, I better not show you my parody sites.
no offense taken… just avoid any posts tagged “humor” It’s all good…