An 18-Year-Old Refuses To Make Decision That Will Have Entirely Too Great an Impact on My Life

Super Tuesday was yesterday. Screw Super Tuesday. Whoever the President is, it will in no way affect the next four years of my life as much as where Terrelle Pryor goes to college. You see, Terrelle Pryor is apparently the greatest thing to ever happen to football. And he had narrowed his choice of universities down to two schools: the venerable University of Michigan and Ohio State. (Apparently Penn State is now involved, whatever, it’s between Michigan and OSU.) The next four years can either be happy or sorrowful, depending on this young man’s decision. Either he leads the new Rich Rod Michigan to glory and resurrects the basketball program, or he goes to Ohio and becomes an annual fear in November. Today was national signing day. He didn’t sign. And so, I remain on the edge of my seat, wondering whether Terrelle Pryor is a savior or evil. At least I know he’s indecisive.