Angelina Jolie’s Womb: The Franchise

(Franworst’s Worst Franchises) The news rocking the franchise world today is the confirmation of the rumor that Angelina Jolie is franchising her womb. Business satire site BizLevity (or BizLechery, judging by a photo – left – so offensive I could not help but post it.)

Mark Jabo broke the story of Jolie’s intent to franchise her womb in a post curiously titled Angelina Jolie To Franchise Womb. Jabo alleges:

Angelina Jolie today announced she will be working with Goldman Sachs to market a chain of artificial insemination clinics to take advantage of the insane prices being paid for pictures of any of her kids.

In a nod to her husband’s popularity, Jolie has said the new clinics will be called Pitt Stops.

Franchise owners will have exclusive rights within a given territory to charge customers for donating their sperm on the chance that it will be combined with eggs donated by Miss Jolie. Proceeds from the resulting baby pictures will be split among the client, the franchisee and the Pitt-Jolie Foundation for Indigent Paparazzi.

According to Richard Quick, Esq., whose Enviro-Ad Advertising-Agency-to-the-Stars is agency of record, (and is the founder of the Environmental Product Placement movement) the original name “Womb Raider” fell through due to a licensing impasse with the Studio. However, a Franworst post on the confirmation of the Pitt Stop rumor (curiously titled (BRAD) PITT STOP FRANCHISE RUMOR CONFIRMED displayed items Quick discovered in his own dumpster, which he will list for sale on ebay. The items include drafts of Pitt Stop logos and advertisements, like the one pictured here.

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