– University of Toronto Fruit Fly Researchers Unlock Key To Sex Appeal; First Step: Don’t Be A Fruit Fly Researcher – A team of incredibly freaky scientists at the University of Toronto say they have uncovered the secret to sex appeal, unleashing what they referred to as a “sexual tsunami” among the fruit flies used in the experiment. By altering the genetic make-up of fruit flies so they didn’t produce a particular odor or pheromone, the scientists were able to create a male fruit fly which proved irresistible to both the male and female of the species. Kind of like the Richard Gere of fruit flies. Professor Joel Levine, who led the study and also heads the campus Fruit Fly Porn Club, said the research had... [Read more]

– Blog Action Day 2009 Mobilizes Bloggers In Biggest Waste Of Online Time Since Computer Solitaire – Has there ever been a more ridiculous time sink than the amount of money, press coverage and trampling of individual choice associated with worrying about global warming? If someone can point it out to me, I’d love to hear about it. Take a step back and try to imagine any other reason why reasonably sane people would sit by and consider any one of the following scenarios as a normal, everyday occurrence: – Allowing the government to make your purchase of big screen TVs illegal – Having some faceless bureaucrat determine where, when and how you can take a vacation – Worry about the extinction of an Arctic animal... [Read more]

–Stories Ripped-Off From The Day’s Headlines – —- Russia Refuses To Back Iran Embargo Putin Says Sanctions Don’t Work … Better To Use Poison “Trust me, Iranians love sushi….” . ——————————————————————— Pepsi iPhone App Offers Guys Pick-Up Lines, Chance To Post ‘Conquests’ On Facebook iCreep App Proves Hit With Key Stalker Demographic Wants you to come up to the house for an energy drink and to meet Mom… . ——————————————————————— ‘It... [Read more]

– Lawyers Admit Former CEO Did Illegal Stuff But Argue That Doesn’t Mean He Violated ‘Honest Services’ Statute; Rest of World Says, ‘Huh?’ – The Supreme Court yesterday scheduled time on its docket to hear an appeal by former Enron CEO Jeffrey Skilling. The Court will decide whether to uphold lower court rulings which convicted Skilling on 19 counts of conspiracy, securities fraud, insider trading, lying to auditors and refusing to clap for Tinkerbell. Skilling and his lawyers are asking the Court to consider whether the “honest services” fraud statute was applied correctly, a move which should make this the fastest case in Supreme Court history. The lawyers are, in essence, arguing that... [Read more]

– Blogger’s Wife Captures Coveted Prize For Groundbreaking Work Proving ‘The More You Spend the More You Save’ – For the second time in less than a week, the world was shocked at the Nobel Prize Committee’s selection of a winner of one of its annual awards. Last week’s surprise was Barack Obama winning the Nobel Peace Prize for pretty much just being a likable dude as he beat out Matt Damon, Tom Brady and former American Idol contestant David Archuleta. This week, Dr. Mrs. Jabo (wife of famed humor blogger, Mark Jabo) won the Nobel Prize in Economics for her groundbreaking work proving it was possible to save money by buying things on sale. Committee members spent three weeks poring over a 3700 page... [Read more]