Imagine you are Antonio Margarito. Your impressive July beat down of Miguel Cotto was a rousing success both in pulling pay-per-view buys and in garnering media attention. Casual sports fans have started recognizing your name and maybe even your face.

The sky is the limit. Right? Well, not so much. There are so few people out there for you to fight for your deserved huge payday. Shane Mosley? Yawn, that guy never caught the public’s eye. Paul Williams? Nobody knows him and maybe he’s a little too dangerous. Zab Judah? I’d have a good time at least. Ricky Hatton? Um, maybe? Manny Pacquiao? Not for a while, but maybe. Floyd Mayweather, Jr.? He ain’t coming out of retirement for me. He’s scared of the Tijuana Tornado.

No, the guy I really want is Oscar De La Hoya and he says he’s done on December 6th. You then continue your daily morning routine, open your computer and check your boxing RSS feeds. Lo and behold there’s a new article from Dan Rafael about the Golden Boy.

Its headline is intriguing enough, “De La Hoya shies away from retirement talk.” You start to get really excited. Does he want to fight me? Please Oscar, please. I could retire after the money made from that fight. You scan down the page. Still no mention. But wait. Here it is:

“My dream is to fight at Estadio Azteca,” De La Hoya said at the news conference. “I want a big farewell fight to leave a lasting impression all over the world with a huge event…fighting there would be a dream come true, and that’s why I don’t rule out the possibility of having another fight next year.”

“Oh my heavens,” your inner Antonio must be thinking, “he must be talking about me! Who else would he fight at the Azteca? It ain’t gonna be Sergio Mora or Ricky Hatton I guarantee you that! I need to start training right now. It doesn’t matter if he wins or loses to Manny; everyone in Mexico will want to see that fight. I’ll be avenging my hero Julio Cesar Chavez. I can’t wait.”

Neither can we Antonio, neither can we.

Post from: EveryJoe

De La Hoya Not Set on Retirement; Magarito Ecstatic

I’m going to pose the question that’s on everyone’s mind: Where is Edge? Is he checking out the Finnish Art Nouveau buildings in Helskinki? Visiting the faux-”Tropical Beach” in Helsingborg? Touring the Baltic wonders of Hel, Poland? Or just spending some island time in the Hellenic Republic?

He could be doing any of these things. Because he hasn’t returned to the WWE since The Undertaker evidently sent him hell during the hell in the cell match at SummerSlam. Straight through the ring, fire and everything. And if hell is under the ring, does that mean Hornswaggle is one of Satan’s minions? I digress.

An exclusive jabandgrapple investigation revealed that the last time Edge checked into his myspace page was April 24, 2008 and he hasn’t posted a blog entry there since seeing the Foo Fighters. Could my favorite Rated-R Superstar really be gone?

Actually it’s been reported on the wrestling gossip newsletters that Edge has a slew of nagging injuries and just wanted some time off. A TLC match and a Hell In A Cell Match will do that to you. In the meantime, we wish Edge well. SmackDown hasn’t been the same without your flowing mane. Vickie Guerrero hasn’t been as despicable, the show hasn’t been as lively, the Edgeheads not as sycophantic, and poor Chavo just seems lost. Even your biggest supporter, Mick Foley, had to leave and join TNA. (Bad choice, sock man. Bad choice.) Come back Edge, we all miss you so much!

Post from: EveryJoe

Where is Edge?

The news tore (like his pectoral) through the wrestling world: “Poor John Cena has suffered another sidelining injury, a herniate disk in his neck, and will need surgery.”

The WWE ran a ticker during it’s ECW alerting fans to this heinous turn of events. In somber voice on RAW GM Mike Adamle told fans that Batista monstrous Batista Bombas at Summer Slam caused the injury. (Adamle’s conclusion was, of course, untrue but it does prop up the Animal’s abilities.)

The wrestling rags even reported that the news spread to the pages of the Wall Street Journal although searches of the wsj.com website brought nothing.

Cena’s surgery should keep him out for the remainder of the year and perhaps shows that he came back too early from his pectoral injury. That setback was caused by the injury-prone WWE Superstar Mr. Kennedy who had his own shoulder dislocated just a few weeks ago against Shelton Benjamin.

Kennedy also recently had surgery and will miss months of action. Maybe Cena will throw him a bone and a part in his next movie. They need something to do over the course of the next few weeks!

Post from: EveryJoe

WWE Superstars Out for the Injury Count

The wooing is over, the coy glances have stopped, the contractual bickering has been worked out and the most anticipated fight since Larry Merchant suggested it to ESPN.com’s Dan Rafael in October 2007 is on!

That same Dan Rafael reports that at a 2:00 p.m. press conference today Oscar De La Hoya will his December 6, 2008 opponent in what he claims will be his last fight. That adversary is expected to be the popular pound-for-pound king Manny Pacquiao.

There are so many stories, plots, and intrigues with this super fight. Most pressing to me is: will Larry Merchant get to work the HBO PPV fight he imagined or will the slick Gen X media starlet Max Kellerman get the nod?

OK, that’s not really our first thought. The basic string of early questions? What weight will the fight be fought at? Is it really going to be at welterweight? Will the Filipino have enough power in this incredible step up in weight class? Will Manny’s speed be too much for Oscar? Will Oscar’s power be too much for Manny? Did Oscar get his 70-30 pay split? Is this really going to be Oscar’s last fight. Where will a win by either fighter put them in boxing’s pantheon?

The basic point is that at this early stage De La Hoya – Pacquiao ranks a megafight. It’s one that has me looking forward to December, will mark and end to another terrific year of boxing, and might stand as a touchstone in a new classic era of pugilism

Post from: EveryJoe

Oscar De La Hoya vs. Manny Pacquiao is On!

Dear Jabandgrapple.com readers. Chances are next week’s wrestler rankings will be funnier, better written, provide smarter, crisper analysis, might include someone other than WWE wrestlers, and won’t show extreme prejudice towards Mark Henry, JBL, and Kane.

That’s right, this is Mr. Jabandgrapple’s last post. That doesn’t mean there won’t be another Mr. Jabandgrapple just like there was another Ultimate Warrior, another Kane, and another Undertaker. What’s that? There was only one Ultimate Warrior, one true Kane, and one true Undertaker.

That’s besides the point. Just goes to prove that the next Mr. Jabandgrapple will be a more learned wrestling fan. Am I off to a lucrative column at Pro Wrestling Illustrated? A WWE writing gig alongside Freddy Prinze, Jr. in Stamford, Connecticut? Sideline speech and interview writer for Eve Torres? Exclusive publicist for Shannon Briggs?

Let’s just say I’m off to parts unknown. Without further ado, here’s my last WWE wrestler rankings.

1. Undertaker (LW: 1)
Taker’s to-do list:
Sunday: Edge sent to h-e double hockey sticks. Check.
Friday: Steal Vickie Guerrero’s soul. Sorta check. He said he was going to do it. Didn’t exactly see the aura sucked out of her body. Perhaps because SmackDown was again pre-empted by exhibition football and all I got was the standard-def feed. Taker is back and he’s on fire! Although presumably not as on fire as Edge.

2. Batista (LW: 2)
The Animal still holds the 1-0 edge over his former Tag Team Champion partner but his work on RAW – hobbling to victory over Paul Birchill – certainly doesn’t carry the same weight as Cena’s effort last Monday…

3. John Cena (LW: 5)
Hustle, loyalty and respect brought a handicap match victory over the reigning tag team. It’s only right then that Cena should be named Tag Team champion all by himself. We’re still surprised that Mick Foley never teamed with one of his many personas to win a Tag title. What’s that?

(Official voice: This is a WWE ranking and Mick Foley has nothing to do with the WWE. Cease and desist in mentioning the king of the hell in the cell.)

Let’s move on.

4. Y2J (LW: 10)
Our personal savior (who no longer is in the saving business) Chris Jericho joined the growing list of WWE superstars who’ve defeated the supposed RAW title holder, CM Punk, during his ignominious reign. Shouldn’t that then make him the World Heavyweight Champion just as Cena should be the tag team champ? That would make too much sense.

What also is inexplicable? Why did the WWE replay the Y2J-punching-Shawn Michaels’-wife saga on all three shows? Doesn’t matter, I loved it all three times.

5. HHH (LW: 3)
The King of Kings was just sort of there this week only slightly assisting our next entrant in his match…

6. Jeff Hardy (LW: 6)
The now-braided rainbow-haired warrior defeated the Great Khali in the biggest mismatch between athlete and non-athlete since nearly every Olympic boxing match. Somehow in those bouts the non-athlete always won. Shows you why I love pro wrestling.

7. Kofi Kingston (LW: 7)
It is STILL so unfair that Kofi lost his Intercontinental belt without getting pinned. We say he wins it back on tonight’s RAW. Of course we said the same thing last week.

8. Edge (LW: 4)
When will he emerge from Hades? If not this Friday then I’m dropping him off this list. But you won’t be here next week. Arrggghh.

9. Shelton Benjamin (LW: NR)
Beat Finlay in a very long match on SmackDown. I keep forgetting that Finlay has a title belt, namely the U.S. Championship. Yet another reason why next weeks ratings will be smarter.

10. The Miz (LW: NR)
Because I like him. That’s why. Because I love reality TV. That’s right I said it. Because the only show on television almost as good as wrestling is the Road Rules/Real World Challenge. And The Miz was a stellar performer on that show.

Dropped Out: CM Punk, Vladimir Kozlov

Post from: EveryJoe

WWE Wrestler Rankings: 8/25/08

I’m not going to reveal the winners in the Olympic boxing semis if some of you dear readers still want to watch the events tonight on MSNBC or Universal HD in sweet ignorance.

What I will do is point you to my semifinal previews again (links) below and let you know that I got 16 bouts right and 6 wrong. Not to shabby! If you really want to know who won click here to go to the official Olympics site.

Olympic Boxing Semi-final Predictions: First Session (Part One)

Olympic Boxing Semi-final Predictions: First Session (Part Two)

Olympic Boxing Semi-final Predictions: Second Session (Part One)

Olympic Boxing Semi-final Predictions: Second Session (Part Two)

Post from: EveryJoe

Olympic Boxing Semis Predictions: 16-6

Middleweight Semifinals

Darren Sutherland (IRL) vs. James Degale (GBR)
Sutherland likes to scrap and that makes him a jabandgrapple favorite. He throws punches, combination even! He boxes, he engages his opponent, he doesn’t dance and he works hard. These shouldn’t be unique qualities in a boxing tourney but these Olympic Games aren’t just any competition. In the quarters he beat the 2007 silver medalist Alfonso Blanco 11-1. The score wasn’t nearly that lopsided and it was a great match to watch and Sutherland (as well as Blanco) might have a successful pro career in his future.

And Degale? Well, he beat the Athens 2004 boxer of the tourney Bakhtiyar Artayev in the semis 8-3. How the awkward, gawky Kazakh could ever have been voted most outstanding is beyond us. Evidently aesthetics weren’t involved in the decision. The southpaw Degale seemed to have confused Artayev with his frequent backtracking and lunging left-hand jabs.

Degale described his style to announcer Jim Gray as hit-move-hit-move-hit-move. Gray responded by complementing his dancing. Sutherland’s style is more hit-hit-hit-hit. For the love of boxing let’s hope the Irishman wins.

Emilio Correa (CUB) vs. Vijender Kumar (IND)
Correa is yet another skilled Cuban boxer. In the first round of Emilio’s quarterfinal matchup he circled the ring looking for spots and openings. But in the second he switched to aggressor and successfully hunted down his opponent. Correa’s dad, Emilio Sr., won the Olympic welterweight gold in 1972 and we think his son is going to repeat his father’s accomplishment, or at least make the finals.

3:00 a.m. – 3:30 a.m. EST

***
Heavyweight Semifinals

Osmay Acosta (CUB) vs. Rakhim Chakhkeiv (RUS)
Haven’t been impressed with either of these two heavyweights. Will go with Acosta not because the Cubans have been getting some friendly judging while the Russians have been getting the shaft. I like Chakhkeiv a lot better. Goes to show how horrible Olympic boxing has become.

Deontay Wilder (USA) vs. Clemente Russo (ITA)
I like Wilder and think the raw prospect might be a good pro but the stylized, experienced awkwardness of Russo is too much for the Tuscaloosa tornado.

Post from: EveryJoe

Olympic Boxing Semi-final Predictions: First Session (Part Two)

Flyweight Semifinals

Andry Laffita (CUB) vs. Georgy Balakshin (RUS)
When Olympic boxing began most expected a lot of Cuba vs. Russia medal matchups. Then something strange happened: the vaunted Russians couldn’t get points from the judges while the Cubans got every benefit of the doubt. Laffita is a very experienced fighter who really enjoys running. Punching…not so much. Can Balakshin cut off the ring and corner the little dancer? We’re going to say so and hope the Slavic aggressor gets some points scored.

Vincenzo Picardi (ITA) vs. Somjit Jongjohor (THA)
This is a matchup of 2007 World Championship medalists. Picardi earned the bronze after dropping that semi match to Jongjohor 13-2. The eventual champion was American Rau’shee Warren. What happened to him? Don’t ask. Jongjohor hasn’t been that impressive so far in Beijing but we see no reason why history shouldn’t repeat itself. Expect the score to be about 7-1; the Thai boxer hasn’t been that active with his punching.

***

Featherweight Semifinals

Yakup Kilic (TUR) vs. Vasyl Lomachenko (UKR)
Lomachenko, the 2007 World Championship silver medalist, has been extremely impressive at Beijing. He began the competition by beating the 2007 gold medalist and has skated ever since. How good has Vasyl been? In his quarterfinal matchup he beat a Chinese boxer 12-3 in spite of the judging favoritism. Lomachenko might be the surest bet for gold in the tourney.

Khedafi Djelkhir (FRA) vs. Shahin Imranov (AZE)
Neither of these two boxers excite me. Djelkhir beat American Raynell Williams by the skin of his teeth. I’m going with Imranov out of spite.

***
Light Welterweight Semifinals

Manus Boonjumnong (THA) vs. Ronniel Iglesias (CUB)
In the quarters Boonjumnong beat the 2007 gold medalist, Iglesias beat the silver winner. That’s good enough for me. Manus is the pick.

Felix Manuel Diaz Guzman (DOM) vs. Alexis Vastine (FRA)
Vastine has had the tougher path taking out 2007 bronze winner Bradley Saunders while Guzman struggled with lightly regarded Irishman John Joe Joyce a/k/a Triple J.

Post from: EveryJoe

Olympic Boxing Semi-final Predictions: First Session (Part One)

***

Welterweight Semifinals

Carlos Banteaux (CUB) vs. Hanati Silamu (CHN)
Banteaux and Hanati are the top two ranked remaining competitors. I shudder to say fighters because the Chinese have done little fighting during this competition. This match could be 20-19 given the ease with which Cubans and Chinese have received points from the judges this tourney. I’m pulling for Banteaux because Hanati beat one of my favorites of the tourney: Bahama’s Toureano Johnson.

Bakhyt Sarsekbayev (KAZ) vs. Kim Jung-Joo (KOR)
For the love of boxing lets hope that the hug specialist that is Kim does not win. Kim beat terrific American prospect Demetrius Andrade with phantom-landing jabs and many embraces. Was his victory as egregious as the Korean’s win over Roy Jones, Jr. in 1988? Possibly. Go Sarsekbayev!

***

Light Heavyweight Semifinals

Tony Jeffries (GBR) vs. Kenneth Egan (IRL)
It’s a battle of British Isle brutes. Both waltzed through their quarterfinal matchup – Jeffries 10-2 Egan 8-0 – and have clinched a rare boxing medal for the Anglophone world. Jeffries isn’t the most graceful fighter but he throws far more jabs than your average Olympian, which is refreshing because it makes the sport seem more like actual boxing. But Egan is a tough, strong, physical fighter and he’s our pick because we don’t understand a word of what he says in his post-fight interviews.

Zhang Xiaoping (CHN) vs. Yerkebuian Shynaliyev (KAZ)
Shynaliyev won his fight against Djakhon Kurbanov after the Tajik bit him in the neck. He’ll be too bothered by Zhang’s rough and tumble clutching style. Either that or the biased pro-Chinese judges with give Zhang the win.

***

Super Heavyweight Semifinals

Vyacheslav Glazkov (UKR) vs. Zhang Zhilei (CHN)
Zhang is a ba-a-a-a-d man. Maybe you missed his destruction of Kazakh Ruslan Myrsatayev. I didn’t. Zhang doesn’t hold and grab as much as the other Chinese boxers and he’s my pick despite my Ukrainian blood.

Roberto Cammarelle (ITA) vs. David Price (GBR)
Price took out Russian Islam Timurziev in his first match and then lucked into a walkover against Jaroslav Jaksto in the quarters. Defending world champ Cammarelle has been less than impressive. I’m going for the upset.

Post from: EveryJoe

Olympic Boxing Semi-final Predictions: Second Session (Part Two)

Light Flyweight Semifinals

Paddy Barnes (IRL) vs. Zou Shiming (CHN)
Paddy Barnes has yet to face especially formidable competition. That changes against two-time world champion and home crowd favorite Zou Shiming. Zou’s awkward punch-and-grab style might be harsh on the eyes and he may have rightly lost his second round bout against Nordine Oubaali but there is zero chance he loses to Barnes.

Purevdori Serdamba (MGL) vs. Yampier Hernandez (CUB)
Yampier has been dominant in Beijing winning his last to bouts 21-6 and 21-3. That’s right, the judges actually gave someone 20 points in this tourney. Unbelievable. Mongolia’s Purevdori Serdamba unfairly squeaked by American Luis Yanez and his style is more suited to wrestling. If the boxing gods are in Beijing (and it’s doubtful that they are) then Hernandez wins big again.

***

Bantamweight Semifinals

Yankiel Leon (CUB) vs. Bruno Julie (MRI)
Julie might be the only African boxing medalist. Odds are it’s going to be a bronze. Leon has been a lot tidier in his matches and should dominate the Indian Ocean islander. The gold is Leon’s to lose.

Veaceslav Gojan (MDA) vs. Enkhbat Badar-Uugan (MGL)
Moldova vs. Mongolia. Only in Olympic boxing. Gojan won his first round match 1-1. One to One! How much holding do you think happened in that match. I can’t abide by that. Go Badar-Uugan.

***
Lightweight Semifinals

Hrachik Javakhyan (ARM) vs. Alexey Tishchenko (RUS)
Javakhyan has yet to have a point scored against him. How’s that possible? First round bye. Second round 12-0 against the very inexperienced Nigerian Rasheed Lawal. Third round walkover. His astounding streak will end against Tishchenko who has been one of the more attractive (conventional) boxers in this stinker of an Olympic tournament. Alexey fights as if he is in a boxing match. Mercy me!

Yordenis Ugas (CUB) vs. Daouda Sow (FRA)
Both Ugas and Sow faced tough competition in the quarters and both emerged with close wins. Ugas is a smooth, confident fighter, Sow is an octopus-like grabber. Let’s hope Ugas can outsmart Sow’s awkwardness. If Ugas wins boxing fans will be the victor.

Post from: EveryJoe

Olympic Boxing Semi-final Predictions: Second Session (Part One)