I guess this concludes my tour of duty for Handheld Age. Goodbye, all. Thanks so much for reading. If you ever feel like you need a steady descent into hell, please catch me at 61 Frames Per Second. Eat your vegetables and play with your Mario. [Read more]

So ends my stint at Playstation Monger. Thanks for playing. I really enjoyed myself and I hope I have not offended and/or blinded most of you. Not to say that this is the end of my writing. No sir, I’ve been chained to a career where they kick me until the words come pouring out. If you think you’ll miss me, ha ha, check out 61 Frames Per Second. I post there every weekday about gamey stuff. There are certain forums wherein I park my bulk, and of course I will continue to visit them. I write for other sites too, like 1UP and Gamepro and What They Play and several others; go on a scavenger hunt, child. Grandma’s tired and she needs her cough syrup and Mother 3 fix. Until we meet again (tomorrow, perhaps? Coffee okay with you?)…thank... [Read more]

No, you haven’t gone blind or senile, but I will forgive you if you think I have. Regardless, I can’t deny that I owned Lock n Chase for the Game Boy, and what’s more I was really damn good at it. I preferred it to Pac-Man by far. The main character, whose name is Lupin (shhh), is an adorable orange dot with a hat instead of a pizza that the delivery man took a slice out of back in the car. There’s more than just one board to navigate, which means clearing away “coins” and thus passing the level can take some minor brain work. [Read more] [Read more]

I have no idea why I picked up Legend of Legaia for the Playstation. I must have read a review by some paid-off game journalist because oh wow, what a terrible game. Back then, I made it a point to finish every damn game I bought. Legend of Legaia is the first time I said “You know what, screw this.” First off, the main character’s name is Vaughn. If you drive North of Toronto, there’s a city called Vaughn and its motto is, “The City Above Toronto.” Obnoxious, but somehow clever. It makes me feel conflicted every time I read it and that confusion kind of spilled over to the game’s Vaughn. No fault of the game, I suppose. The awful battles though, those were strictly the fault of the game. [Read more] [Read more]

It seems fitting that my time at Handheld Age winds down just as the Mother 3 translation patch made its way into the wide world. The Game Boy Advance’s library was no slouch, but Itoi’s final title in the series is its crown jewel, easily. I think, even if I end up playing this game twenty times (and I just might), I will never discover all the tiny details and love put into the sprite animations. Heck, it was only by reading the comments for this YouTube video that I discovered the door Wess dances in front of “laughs,” which allows them passage. I think “Cattlesnake” is my new favourite word. I’m on Chapter 4 right now, but I don’t want to pour my heart out over the game until I’m done.... [Read more]