b5 Favorites Day

August’s b5media sports channel theme day is “favorites”. Presumably I’m supposed to tell you about my favorite pro wrestler and/or boxer. The thing is, as a sports blogger/expert analyst journalism ethics tell me that I can’t show favoritism. I can’t root for one fighter over another. It would destroy my credibility. It would severely undermine the high standards to which jabandgrapple.com aspires.

“Um, excuse me.” It seems the peanut gallery has something to say. “Everytime you write about Jeff Hardy you say ‘I love you Jeff Hardy, I love you Jeff Hardy’. And what about your ridiculous and overt pining for Eve Torres? (Mr. JandG note: she doesn’t wrestle. I CAN favor her.) Or the fact that you’ve admitted that Y2J is your favorite. And then said that Randy Orton is your favorite. And then said that John Cena is your favorite. And then said that Edge is your favorite. And I think you might have even said that Kofi Kingston was your favorite. You have more favorites than a Las Vegas casino sports book. And in your glorious high standard blog as well.”

What you say might be true. But that’s wrestling. I’m supposed to take sides. That’s why there are good guys and bad guys. I am completely absolved. And, plus, I’m fair and balanced towards the people I don’t like like HHH, Mark Henry, the Great Khali, and Mike Adamle. Really, I am.

And anyway I don’t show favoritism in boxing. No sides no favorites pure rational Platonic objectivity.

“Um, here are two quotes from YOUR OWN BLOG:”

We are big Klitschko fans; Mrs. Jabandgrapple has even claimed to have married Mr. Jabandgrapple because of his passing likeness to Wlad.

and

Then Darling Jimenez knocks him down! Oh my heavens! Vamos Darling!

“Those don’t sound too nonobjective to me!”

I’ll admit, maybe once or twice I’ve cheered a bit for one fighter and not the other. But that doesn’t mean I have a favorite. The only favorite in my heart in the Manchester City Football Club. And I like them so much that I vehemently cheer (oops) for Ricky Hatton even though he hangs out with Manchester United strikers every now and then.

So if I were to admit a really really really favorite boxer/wrestler it would be Ricky Hatton but it oddly has nothing to do with boxing or wrestling and everything to do with, um, soccer. Blue Moon, you saw me standing alone… There’s only one Ricky Hatton!