Best Spam Comment This Week

If you do not have a blog, then you have not truly experienced one of the most widespread yet despicable new forms of modern “marketing”:  Comment Spam.

You’ve seen it, been aggravated, maybe even horrified by it.  It can swallow your favorite discussion like kudzu disappears a Mississippi highway.  But there’s nothing like the experience of trying to allow genuine comments while deleting the invading hordes of Comment Spam trying to overrun your blog.  With the help of a handy tool called Akismet, I’ve deleted 5367 Spam comments in the past 5 months on this blog alone.

Some comment spam is just a mass of links they want to plant on the blogs of the unsuspecting.  I expect they would like people to click on them, but are mostly interested in increasing their search engine rankings by creating inbound links.  They’re like this, only much longer:

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Then there are the fake ingratiating comments they hope you’ll post because you’re not paying attention or are so, so desperately lonely.  These spams contain unintelligible comments made by those who studied English as a 6th Language at the University of Nigeria night school.

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I consider that beside Your site there is future!

There’s another category of comment spam (I’ll save you the example)  with links to graphic images, dvds, viewmaster slides and puppet shows depicting despicable acts featuring farm implements, Britney Spear’s grandmother, and several cast members of “So You Think You Can Dance” in compromising positions.  Click on one of those, my friend, and you’ll experience every Spamtastic device, from pop-ups to never ending windows to adware and viruses even penicillin won’t cure.  Believe me.

Of the thousands of truly terrible business ideas I’ve conceived of, one of the worst was to create amusing and surprising spam. The thought was that people might reward such cleverness by not immediately deleting them.  Britney did my market testing for me with the comment spam below.  “Pretty clever,” I thought, deleting it immediately.

Britney

Please, do not delete the given message. Money obtained from spam will go to the help hungry to children ugandA

There’s one upside to comment spammers.  If we scientists decide the earth is too overpopulated and some of us have to go, we know who we can track down and jettison first.

What do you think, bloggers?  Anyone get any good comment spam recently?

Any creative ideas on what we can do with it?

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