Black Friday Traffic Crashes Sears Website
Wait, … What? Sears Has a Website?!
Sears.com was down for a period of time on Black Friday as all four of the nation’s online shoppers over 70-years-old attempted to access the site at the same time.
The company’s website, which is actually just six old ladies in polyester pantsuits reading emails, was overwhelmed by the influx of traffic on the year’s heaviest shopping day.
Webmaster Gertie Sheaffer exclaimed, “I just couldn’t keep up with all the traffic. At one point, I lost my reading glasses and we had to shut the site down until I found them. Silly me, they were on top of my head the whole time!”
The company attributed the sharp uptick in holiday traffic to its 50% off sale on shawls and a hit from a misspelled porn site.
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Well, at least at Sears no one got trampled…
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