Bullying Can’t Survive without your Inaction

Unlike some people, I didn’t have a traumatic high school experience. But some of the kids I knew went through hell.

This was before public education campaigns against bullying. Before anti-bullying policies in schols. Before Columbine.

There weren’t a lot of guidelines for shutting down harassment in our school (or any schools, for that matter). Those of us who weren’t direct targets sometimes intervened by distracting or mocking the bullies, but for the most part, the targets of scorn were on their own.

Most of the abuse came from a few jerks in the popular crowd, or in the wannabe crowd. But the rest of us allowed it to take place, by not stopping it.

I just got back from the thirtieth reunion of my high school graduation. Of the people who declined to attend, some saw no reason to revisit the scene of the crime. Taunting. Intimidation. Threats. Violence. It was all there, mostly aimed at people who didn’t “fit in.”

At the reunion, there was almost no evidence of the aggression and hostility that I remember. People who might have put someone down 30 years ago extended a warm hand of greeting at Friday’s party.

What changed? We all matured. Hormones no longer rule our every action. The realization hit us that in the wider world, the pecking order in a local high school was irrelevant. But that doesn’t mean bullying is a thing of the past.

Bully tactics work when people feel vulnerable. When the victim can’t see any options. When there’s a disconnect beetween official rules and common practice.

Sensitivity training and written policies are good, but only if they aren’t undercut by a separate code of conduct for a select few.

Look around your office. Even in this age of personal rights, it’s possible for bullying behavior to take place. But only if we the rest of us let it happen.