Business Mentors Are Useless
August 20, 2008 by Bridget Wright
Filed under Business
A while back, I interviewed Kelly, our Business Channel Editor here at b5media and one of the questions that I asked her in the interview was, “Who was/is your business mentor?” Surprisingly, Kelly said she didn’t have one, had never had one and probably wouldn’t be getting one soon. I don’t think she hates mentors, I just think she simply does not have a need for one. A lot of business women are like that.
I, for one, do not, did not and have not ever had a mentor. And believe me, there were times when I did want one, or at least thought I did. Those were the tims when I wanted someone to tell me what to do! Mentors are generally supposed to help you along, offering advice and gentle nudging where necessary and sometimes even being a sounding board for inexperienced souls. But what I have found remarkable is something that I’m sure will be controversial. Although there are numerous women in business who have or need business mentors, but in my humble opinion:
Mentors are useless.
Before you come-apart, let me tell you why I say this. Unless your mentor has experienced the same or similar business challenges that you have, how much sage, applicable advice can they offer to you as a business woman? I mean, really, can they truly feel your pain or know which direction you should take your business if it’s failing? Now so as not to confuse mentors with consultants, let me explain the difference in the two:
Mentors act as models, advisors if you will, to give the apprentice an idea of how they can and should conduct themselves and their business. They’re supposed to help YOU develop your skills, face your challenges and work through situations by offering you real-life, applicable solutions that they have used for themselves. They’re attuned to you and (should) know exactly what you need. No, they don’t do the work for you, but they should feel about 60-80% passionate about your business and have an interest in seeing you accomplish your goals.
Consultants offer their expert opinion and advice for a fee. Period. Consultants can and possibly are concerned about the outcome of a situation, but generally are focused on the bottom line and a clear-cut business arrangement. They offer a professional, expert service. They get paid. End of story.
What I am afraid of, as it pertains to business women and mentors, is the idea that mentors will offer you as a business woman a “one-up” with your competitors or even a significant boost in your business. Just not so. Mentors are just unpaid consultants. They listen to you and offer advice, but are not compensated. They just get the chance to feel good. And to further complicate it, if you don’t follow the mentor’s advice, you may have possibly wasted your time and hers. Why bother?
If it seems that I have a “thing” against mentoring, I may possibly. But first, I want to hear what you all have to say as it pertains to this business of mentoring and mentorship. Have you ever been mentored? Have you ever had a business mentor? Do you want one? Do you think it would make a significant difference in the way you do business?
I have had managers that I have respected, listened to, and learned from in navigating my career. I wouldn’t say that I have had a mentor.
But I have been a mentor. I never looked at it as a person who is supposed to guide your business. Instead, I looked at it as a two-fold way to help the other person:
First, be an emotional sounding board. It is tough to go off at work, whether being an owner of a business or a team player in a group. A mentor should be able to be trusted enough to listen through that and help develop the person’s emotional maturity when it comes to work.
Second, a mentor should be able to listen to the business issue as an outside person, ask good questions, and help connect the dots for the person being mentored. The mentor doesn’t decide; instead, the mentor helps clarify what is going on in your head so you can take all that you know and now move forward with it.
Your mentor, by the way, doesn’t have to be a business person. The person could be your spouse or someone from your past.
If I ever need help like this, I go to my manager from about ten years ago. She is one of the smartest women I know and always gets to the heart of an issue. This clarification is priceless.
The mentor isn’t a guidance counselor. The mentor is a person who helps you grow and clarify your thinking.
Hope this helps.
I was forced to have a mentor when I first got in to real estate. Fairly pointless. It was basically a way for the agency to handle newbies like me – have them bug a top producer who was willing to “mentor” some fresh-faced agent. But, other than the occasional help with an answer here or there, I didn’t see my business pushed to great heights or anything.
I feel no need for a mentor at this point. But I do like discussing biz stuff with other people for their take, for a nudge here and there, etc.
I think they can be a great resource for particular industries, and for particular people. Guess I’m just not one of them.
I never really hooked a mentor. I have admired and learned at my own admission from others but never pin pointer on to only one.
A couple years back. I experienced being the mentor for a man a few years younger. It had a certain flattering effect up to a point.
Okay – usually I agree with everything you write, but not this time. I’ve had an incredible mentoring experience with a graphic designer (I’m a copywriter). When I was getting started, she helped me find my footing a bit. And since then, whenever something has come up that has just really thrown me for a loop, or if I just need a sounding board, she’s been there for me. As my business and experience has grown, I’ve been able to return the favor. The fact that I have a smart woman who I trust (and who I can be vulnerable in front of) has made a huge difference to me over the years.
Great post…sure to make people fiery and opinionated!
Hey Julie, now you KNOW I like a little spice in my posts! :-)
Your situation is actually the unusual rather than the usual. Ideally, we would all like to have the experience of having had a valuable mentor, but it just didn’t//hasn’t happened to most of us.
I am glad though that you have the experience of having had a great mentor in your business life. That proves that it IS possible, given the right mix of personalities and timing. Those things are essential in having a successful outcome. Now what I would imagine that would happen now is that YOU in turn will become a mentor for someone and be a catapult to project them towards success.
Care to start with any one of us? Hmm?