Calling Yourself “Bitch” Is NOT Empowerment
July 29, 2008 by Kristen King
Filed under Business
(www.bizchicksrule.com) — Can someone please explain this to me? I’m seeing it everywhere, but I don’t get it: Women who identify themselves, and people they purportedly like, as "bitches." You call women you don’t like, women who offend and anger you, "bitches." Why on Earth would you want to call yourself "bitch"? Why would you want to call someone you like and respect "bitch"?
From Merriam-Webster:
Main Entry: bitch
Pronunciation: \ˈbich\
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English bicche, from Old English bicce
Date: before 12th century1: the female of the dog or some other carnivorous mammals
2 a: a lewd or immoral woman b: a malicious, spiteful, or overbearing woman —sometimes used as a generalized term of abuse
3: something that is extremely difficult, objectionable, or unpleasant
4: complaint
From Wikipedia:
Bitch is a term for the female of a canine species in general. It is also frequently used as a term for a malicious, spiteful, domineering, intrusive, or unpleasant person, especially a woman. This second meaning has been in use since around 1400. When used to describe a male, it may also confer the meaning of “subordinate”, especially to another male, as in prison. Generally, this term is used to indicate that the person is acting outside the confines of their gender roles, such as when women are assertive or aggressive, or when men are passive or servile. More recent variants of bitch are bitchy, ill-tempered (1925), and to bitch, to complain (1930).
The word “bitch” has long been in use to refer to a woman in contempt, as shown in an 1811 dictionary which describes bitch as “the most offensive appellation that can be given to an English woman, even more provoking than that of whore.”
Also worth checking out: the Urban Dictionary entry on “bitch.” The synonyms and related words at the top tell an interesting story, if you ask me.
So why would a woman call herself “bitch,” refer to her friends as “my bitches,” or ever let a man call her “his bitch”? Evidently it’s an effect of “third-wave feminism” and a movement toward reclaiming derogatory and pejorative terms:
Words such as spinster, bitch, whore, and cunt continue to be used in derogatory ways to demean women. Inga Muscio writes, “I posit that we’re free to seize a word that was kidnapped and co-opted in a pain-filled, distant, past, with a ransom that cost our grandmothers’ freedom, children, traditions, pride, and land.” Third-wave feminists believe it is better to change the meaning of a sexist word than to censor it from speech.
Many of these words did not originally have their modern connotations of power. For example, the English word cunt, which is commonly used as a pejorative, is a derivative of the Germanic word “kunton” meaning “female genitalia.” Over time the word has become both a pejorative and a marker of femininity. The words bitch and whore developed in a similar fashion.
You can talk to me about reclaiming words until you’re blue in the face and I still don’t buy it. The swastika used to be a good luck symbol and a religious image until Hitler used it to represent the Nazi party. Should I wear clothes with swastikas on them and just assure horrified passersby that I’m reclaiming it? Should I start calling black people “niggas” because I’m reclaiming “nigger”? Yeah, I didn’t think so.
How about teaching people respect instead? How about not demeaning your fellow women by using offensive terms “to empower them”? Elisa commented on my mean girls post about internalizing labels, a topic she expanded on in her own post, and internalization is exactly what I’m talking about here. I do not find it empowering to be called or to call someone else “bitch” or “cunt.” I find it offensive. In fact, I think that calling ourselves and other women “bitch” and other offensive terms is a form of self-loathing, and I think we need to stop it. I don’t think I should have to call myself “bitch” before someone else does so I can say, “I reclaimed it.” Embracing the label reinforces its use and makes it acceptable and that’s not okay. I don’t think there should be anything pejorative about speaking your mind, asserting yourself, or having an opinion.
To that end, I took a romp through the internet to see how women are using “bitch” to describe themselves. If you pay a visit to Heartless Bitches International, you’ll find that they’re not exactly doing anything to ameliorate the term. The Bitch Girls Blog seems to preach imply say that having an opinion of any sort makes a woman a bitch, and the author dubbed herself “Bitter.” Gee, that’s appealing. I’ve met The Daily Bitch and Angry Black Bitch and found them both to be articulate, interesting, atractive, and clever, and am baffled as to why they would give themselves such an unkind label. Then I found Bitch PhD and again found smart women with a lot to say. And then we have Bitch magazine, whose title and tagline, “Feminist Response to Pop Culture,” together seem to imply that opinions of any sort other than “I like baking and raising babies, I do declare” are equal to bitchiness.
Why do we need to hide behind the label of “bitch” to feel okay with expressing opinions — or to slap it on others to make them feel like they shouldn’t express theirs? When are we going to stop being “bitches” and just be women?
Contents © Copyright 2008 Kristen King
Tags: womens business blog, womens business, women and business, women in business, women, woman, business, bitch, feminism, third-wave feminism, reclaiming cunt, reclaiming bitch, reclaiming nigger, slurs, demeaning, pejorative, offensive, insulting, womens issues, mean girls, internalization, self-loathing, biz chicks rule, kristen king
The Bitch Girls Blog seems to preach that having an opinion of any sort makes a woman a bitch…
Wow, someone has some serious reading comprehension issues. I’ve explained many times over the course of the last 6 years of posting where the name came from when people asked about it. I’ve never had anyone come to such a sexist conclusion as you.
As a graduate of a top women’s college who has made national headlines for being outspoken and teaching women to empower themselves, it can hardly be said I believe women who have opinions are bitches.
If you’d like to get your facts straight, you might make an effort to email me and ask. It may have been far too much effort to get the email address from that bold blue “About” button at the top, but maybe now that you have in this comment, you’ll make an effort to find out the truth before you throw around claims that I bash opinionated women.
Thanks for your comment, BB. I have amended the post to read “say” instead of “preach” (which I let stand with a strikeout lest anyone be confused) because I think “preach” isn’t quite the right word and I appreciate your pointing that out, but I still think my point is valid and I do not think it’s sexist. I’m interested to know what about it YOU feel is sexist, because that thought never entered my mind.
I’m not suggesting that you bash opinionated women, and I didn’t say that anywhere in my post. What I’m saying is that putting the “bitch” label on women with opinions is not empowering but rather the opposite.
I did click on the About link when I first found your blog and this is what I found there:
Just what you’ve been missing in your life – chicks giving you their opinions whether you asked for it or not.
So when you tell me about The Bitch Girls, you tell me it’s women giving their opinions.
I wrote, “The Bitch Girls Blog seems to
preachimplysay that having an opinion of any sort makes a woman a bitch.”I apologize if I have offended you, but I’m not seeing where my logic has broken down. Help me understand.
Mine, in particular, is of the “complaint” definition. :) Our local paper is called The Daily Oklahoman… and being the unimaginative sort when I started my blog oh-so-long ago I simply stole their name. My blog used to have a sort of newspaper format…and plus I have a lot of things I like to “complain” about.
I’m not calling MYSELF a bitch (although I certainly can be, and I don’t even have to try very hard), but sometimes I do like to bitch about various and sundry things.
It’s hard to get the context when you don’t know the background. :)
I’m with you 100% on cunt – I just hate the sound of it and it drives me NUTS when women say “I OWNED it, so it doesn’t bother me to hear it or say it”.
WTF? That makes no sense to me whatsoever. What’s up with the “OWNING”? Don’t get it.
And thank you for the lovely compliments! :)
Great post, Kristen.
We women cannot expect men to treat us any better than we treat ourselves and each other. We do more to tear down our own gender than any man could possibly do given the presence of laws and HR procedures for handling any situation in the workplace. What bugs me is how women talk about each other, using the “bitch” word or not. We are our own worst enemies, and it’s up to us individually to think twice before tagging ourselves or each other with sexist tags.
its one thing to say. ‘gee im such a Bitch today’ or ‘im in a bitchy mood’ its another thing to say ‘call me a Bitch, I don’t care!’ or to call someone a Bitch for being a Bitch. but its specifically wrong when a woman labels herself as a Bitch, even gets the tatoo that says ‘ im a Bitch’ and goes around living her life to the fullest potential of Bitch- living the name because its all she can think about being. being a Bitch before Being a mother, being a Bitch before becoming a friend, being a Bitch before growing up and becoming a woman. and all the while being excesivly bitchy, remarkably two faced, down right mean and overtly bossy, stingy, and concieted, and while life as a sElf labled Bitch isn’t enough , being incredibly tactical and manipulative at making everyone’s life that she touches hell, must have some satisfation too!!! if u lable yourself as a Bitch expect to be tated as such. a Bitch lacks the respect for herself that enables a woman to come into her full potential as a mother , wife, nurturer, and warrior. to limit yourself as simply a Bitch stunts your growth to be just a tantrums throwing little girl.!!! real adult women will lose respect for a Bitch, men will treat a Bitch as a Bitch is treated, when she is in heat… shell get fuc@&ed by dogs and easily find fights with other Bitches like herself. the name is derogatory , plain and simple. any self respecting, grown, mature woman knows herself well, and knows that yes at times a Bitch will bite, but she is so, so much more than any lable can advertise.
I personaly have tryed, but I just can’t bring myself to give any amount of honor, loyalty , nor respect to a Bitch.