China Set To Become World’s Largest Auto Market
World’s Most Populous Country Also Appears Set To Export Peculiar Brand of English To MSNBC Headline Writers
Me Write You Long Time
Analysts are predicting China will overtake the U.S. as the world’s largest car market when figures are released later this month.
With a surfeit of unpaved roads and an abundance of incredibly lousy drivers, the average Chinese person buys a new car every six weeks.
“There’s just no way we can compete with the Chinese,” complained a GM spokesman who called on Congress to enact Federal legislation that would call for the government to summarily destroy 40% of all cars on the road every month.
In addition, President Obama pressed Congress to make it a Federal law that every American family have at least seven kids.
“It’s strictly a matter of numbers,” said the President. “China has way more people than us. One way we can increase our market share is by making sure every woman of child-bearing age is popping out at least two kids a year for the next eight years.”
Obama said he would be awarding the Congressional Medal of Freedom later in the day to the woman who recently gave birth to octuplets, calling her 14 child family “a model for the new America.”
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