Clemens Reconsiders Ironic Speaking Gig

Roger Clemens’ post-Mitchell Report hell continues in the ironic punishment division. The pitcher who convinced fawners that he wasn’t using steroids by being white was scheduled to speak in front of the Texas High School Baseball Coaches Association next month. It is now uncertain whether he will make his speech, entitled “My Vigorous Workout, How I Played So Long.” Yikes. I’m guessing he won’t make the speech, but he still could; it would just be shorter. “I took steroids.” Simple enough. He’ll speak to the Association today to clear up his plans.

“This (the speech) is just a little pea in the pod compared with everything he has to deal with,” Long said. “But we can’t sit around and wait on this.”

Long has said he would not be surprised if Clemens cancels his appearance, but he said Monday, “I know that Roger is a very passionate person and a heck of a competitor, and I don’t know that I can rule anything out. I think he’ll look at things and come up with the best solution for our association. He always has in the past.”

You know, I did hear that steroids give you little peas in your pod.