Clients from Hell: The Picker

Someone recently made a comment that they had “the client from hell,” and it made me smile because I know EXACTLY what they mean. I’ve had my fair share of difficult clients, but to date, no one has refused to work with me again (though some I’ve polited declined when they asked for more work). So, this new series, called “Clients from Hell” will share with you how I’ve dealt with clients who were less than perfect.

Today’s Client from Hell: The Picker

No matter how many times your read over your own work, you’re bound to miss typos or grammatical errors occasionally. It even happens to professional editors – I’ve come across mistakes in novels and nonfiction books from time to time. It just happens…but The Picker is never content to overlook a silly mistake and move on. No. The Picker has to just pick pick pick at everything you do.

It irks me when someone sends back my article saying “I found such-and-such a spelling mistake. Could you fix it please?” Ok, I get it. I typed “is” when I meant “if” and I never caught the mistake. The rest of the article is FINE though – so can’t the client just fix it? Here’s how to do it. Click at the mistake. Press the backspace key. Press the “f” key. Save.

Yes, but really, it isn’t worth fighting over. After all, it WAS your mistake. Just fix and it send it back. And call them an idiot under your breath as you do it. Go on, it will help you feel better.

The Picker isn’t satisfied. He or she will send you word choice suggestions, ask for rewrites often (even though the initial article was error-free), and refuse to pay you until you’ve made 50 different changes. They’ll “correct” tons of “grammar problems” that don’t actually exist and tell you that your use of their required keyword “unicorn French toast real estate banker” sounds unnatural. Cue facepalm.

Oh yes, I’ve had these clients. The Picker just picks and picks and picks until you actually start to question your writing ability. Don’t do that – you know you’re a good writer! Here’s a good example of how to deal with The Picker if it’s your first assignment:

Thanks for letting me know about your concerns! I try to send perfect copy to all of my clients, but no one’s perfect. In the future, I’ll keep all of your criticisms in mind so the content I send more closely matches your needs! With a new client, it sometimes takes time to learn what to expect from one another, so thank you for being patient durng the learning process. I’ve attached all of the revisions you’ve requested, and feel free to let me know if you still have any problems with the work.

The Picker often calms down when met with a respectful email. These people, the ones who are never pleased, are usually met with hostility and resentment. Show them a little gracious respect, and many times, they’ll hire you again – and go easier on you next time.

Of course, if this isn’t the first time they’ve had issues, you may want to respond a little differently. Remember, though, if they’re paying top dollar for your content, you need to provide them with awesome content. You wouldn’t pay a plumber for a facet that leaks or a shirt that’s missing one sleeve. Fix mistkaes an do a better job next time. Remember, clients have different expectations. Either cater to what they need or politely decline to take more work and find clients that more closely fit your style.

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Image via Flickr.