Cloud Merchants & Franchise Ranters Part 1
March 11, 2009 by Sean Kelly
Filed under Business
If you want to find the straight scoop on franchising, you have to learn to recognize and be able to navigate the pervasive opinions of two groups: The Cloud Merchants (CMs) and the Angry Franchise Ranters (AFRs).
The Cloud Merchants portray franchising as a magical paradise where happy franchisees frolic with a euphoria induced by being their own bosses, controlling their own futures, being in business for themselves but not by themselves, and a success rate so high only self-defeating morons who spit in the face of the Success Fairy will not succeed.
Conversely, the Angry Franchise Ranters portray franchising as a deep dark abyss run by a coven of flesh-eating vampires who lure hapless but courageous entrepreneurial virgins and feed on their hopes and dreams until all that is left is an empty shell, massive debts, repossessed homes and ex-spouses and kids that blame it all on them.
The CMs are much more prevalent than the AFRs, but the AFRs make up for it in sheer volume and annoyingness.
Introducing our newest AFR&B (Angry Franchise Ranter & Blogger): Bloody Franchise
Bloody Franchise is the newest AFR&B (Angry Franchise Ranter & Blogger), a newcomer with all the subtlety, flair and intellectual depth of a WWF wrestling character. Bloody Franchise left a scathing comment on my recent post (SUBWAY Attorney Joins Spy Store Franchise) about a young attorney joining a soon-to-launch franchise. Although he knows nothing about either the attorney or the franchise, BF viciously attacked both for the sole reason that they are involved with franchising.
I clicked the link over to BF’s wordpress.com blog only to find an image of a white wolf howling next to a flowing river of blood (Did I tell you he was subtle?). Even more disturbing was seeing my name in the first sentence of the blog post, which included more ranting about the young attorney he knows nothing about (BF writes: Thanks to Sean Kelly (naivete does have its upsides) for letting us know about people like Ms Church…)
(Wow. Am I now famous enough to have my own franchise stalker? Cool. Sort of. )
Further down a hint of BF’s ranting AFR&B manifesto:
The only people a franchisor needs today on staff is a dishonest, slick and smooth sales force, an in-house lawyer with all of the franchisor tricks in her bag… and a gullible broker (a guy like Sean*) to promote their snake oil**. Add a PR person to tell the world how successful franchising and especially the franchisor has been and is (they could also hire you for this Sean***) and voila – you’re a franchisor. Sit back and collect the royalties, the franchise fees, spend the franchisees money on advertising (and get to go to Nascar and PGA events) and when the franchisee gets pissed off, they have to go to detention (otherwise known as arbitration). This too is controlled by vendors who cater to the franchisor. And when you learn that the franchisor is the master and you are the slave, you can come out, broke!
While, like many ranters, BF chooses to remain anonymous, it’s a fair bet that he is an unsuccessful franchisee who was never given NASCAR tickets to his company’s own race, and that he went up against his franchisor in arbitration and lost. Now he feels his only recourse is to lash out at anything and everything remotely franchise-related. He will remain anonymous and will not give any details so that no one can challenge his version of his victimhood, and in the naive belief that posting under “Bloody Franchise” will keep him from getting sued for the libelous rants he will eventually get sued for.
The problem with Angry Franchise Ranters is that they may actually have some good points worth sharing – but no one will listen. They are solely interested in venting and attacking everyone and everything, even potential allies. They are not interested in warning others from making their same mistakes, and they want to see their former franchise system topple, no matter how many other franchisees get hurt. They are primarily out for revenge, and that negates the good they could possibly do.
To me, the key message you need to understand is that whether you are buying a franchise or starting your own business, the buck stops with you. It’s up to you to thoroughly investigate, research and plan your new business. The painful truth is that there is no safety net whether you start a franchise or go it alone.
Listen to the Cloud Merchants, consider the Ranters warnings, and in the end rely only on your best judgement and the advice of those who will be in it with you.
WHAT DO YOU THINK? SHARE A COMMENT BELOW.
* I’m not a broker. Never was a broker and have never sold franchises.
** I do not promote snake oil. In fact, the only product I publicly endorse is the Green Prosperity Prayer Hankie. Why? Because it works!
** I’m sure they’ll want to hire me after this exposure ;)
IMAGE: FranBest.com
In other words: “Check yourself, before you wreck yourself”.
This Rita is ready for a Margarita….
Yeah, the BF ranted about me also.
I visited the BF site, and like you, I found that BF may have some good points on leases arranged by the franchisor.
But nobody is going to listen to BF.
Well said, Rita. About the margarita, I mean. Plenty of salt on mine.
Bambi, I mean Michael: I saw his moronic comments on you. BF is a certain psychological type franchisors should screen for. They are all or nothing – extreme in their opinions. When they join, the franchise is the new savior and they are its greatest evangelist. When things go wrong, the franchisor is the antichrist and root of all evil in the world. No personal responsibility whatsoever.
In this case, he lashes out at everyone including those you’d think he’d see as allies. Sad situation, because instead of working on recovering from their situation they are hellbent on further self destruction.
And you three only listen to each other…..haha
Keep selling the Kool-Aid, it’s your conscience…..
Ever hear of “credence goods” – here’s a link for you
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Credence_goods
Bloody
I bet if Bloody Franchise had put half the energy into marketing and promoting his franchise business as he does insulting others on the internet he wouldn’t have failed. Was BF this active putting up blogs and leaving comments to promote his business?
Fred Deluca, BFs main target, was just named to the Forbes list. At 61, he has a net worth of $1.6 billion. His company Subway generated $12.9 billion in revenue last year. Deluca must be doing something right.
Instead of bashing him, maybe Bloody Franchise should have tried to learn from him. He might be less bloody and more wealthy if he did.
I just again read the “Bloody Franchise” Website and as a Franchise Ranter, I think “Bloody Franchise” may be on to a marketing technique that will be very successful. Since franchisees have no PAC because they don’t know pre-sale that they need one, it may be that “Bloody Franchise” Banners and Handouts outside of the IFA sponsored Franchisor and Franchisee Conventions would bring some publicity to this status quo that feeds so many and, in which, the franchisee is the premeditated sacrifice.
I think the “wolf in the sea of blood” is brilliant and I identify with the goals of “Bloody Franchise” which are to stop the flow of blood enabled by an immoral status quo that misrepresents franchising as the American Dream and that premeditates the transfer of the savings of middle class Americans into the pockets of the robber barron capitalists. I am not against healthy Capitalism that hasn’t abandoned the Golden Rule.
You know my position that can be read in http://www.unhappyfranchisee.com/2009/02/carolcross/
Waiting for Part II and for Bloody Franchise to post again!
Carol Cross writes: I think “Bloody Franchise” may be on to a marketing technique that will be very successful. Since franchisees have no PAC because they don’t know pre-sale that they need one, it may be that “Bloody Franchise” Banners and Handouts outside of the IFA sponsored Franchisor and Franchisee Conventions would bring some publicity to this status quo…
I love it! The IFE is coming up in DC. You and BF could chain yourselves to the steps of the convention center. Bloody Franchise can dress up in his albino wolfskin, and you can dress like Pocohantas and pour fake blood down the steps while he howls at the moon!
Right there in the nation’s capitol where the legislators, attorneys and IFA fatcats conspired to fleece the American public via franchising… that will shake them up!
A couple of problems though:
1) Ranters like BF only talk big while anonymously hiding behind their computers. BF is only interested in venting his spleen. He would never make an effort to warn others, much less break anonymity.
2) Franchisees don’t have a PAC because no one has ever been successful getting franchisees to organize as a group. Ask Bob Purvin of AAFD and Susan Kezios of the AFA how successful their efforts have been to organize franchisees.
As far as waiting for Part II and Bloody Franchise to post, I think his 2.5 minutes in the spotlight are up.
Yes! If we could just raise some money to hire demonstrators and a really good marketing man for our anti-franchise campaign, it would be a start! If we could get some beautiful young women and young men and children of failed franchisees to march and picket, we could draw attention and maybe the mainstream media, who is always looking for product, would get interested.
I’ve been thinking about some of the signs and banners we could display in our demonstration and march, like —PLEASE! STOP! UNDERSTAND THAT FRANCHISING IS DANGEROUS AT ANY BRAND —–and FRANCHISING IS DANGEROUS TO YOUR WEALTH AND HEALTH —–SNAKE OIL SOLD INSIDE UNDER COVER OF GOVERNMENT REGULATION —The WOLF in the River of Blood would be our own PRIVATE brand that we would patent, of course, The SILENCE OF THE LAMBS is over! The Bloody War has started.
Of course, we’d have to check with our favorite and trusted lawfirm, i.e. Quick, Steele, Cheatham, Goode, and Hyde to make sure we wouldn’t break any local laws. I’m sure in our nation’s capitol, freedom of speech is protected in every language spoken in our nation’s capitol, and the police would protect our marchers and protestors from violence from those who sponsored the convention, like the IFA.
I’ve been “wronged” as a franchisee, and I now work for a very ethical franchisor. I see both sides and agree with you Sean – it’s hard for those that haven’t been wronged to hear anything through the vitriol shared by BF and sites like Blue Mau Mau. I get their points, there are bad folks out there that are allowed to thrive under the one-sided agreement. But in my case I also put a fair amount of blame on myself for not listening to the warning bells that were going off in my mind before signing the franchise agreement. I consider the money I lost to be an education expense which has been recouped many times over. Additionally, I can share my experience with prospective franchisees as well as franchisees and help them understand how and why our franchise company differs from the few bad apples out there.
WorkedBothSides:
You’ve got a great perspective. I’d like to hear about your company – confidentially, if you prefer. You can email me at info[at]ideafarm.net.
I believe the Internet has brought the potential for profound change and growth in franchising in two ways. The first is that it’s provided the opportunity to break the silence about the problems franchisees face, and to expose the minority of crooked operators that give the industry a bad name. The Internet and blogs like FranchisePick, http://www.unhappyfranchisee.com and others are trying to balance the fairy tale entrepreneur media portrait of franchising with a bit of reality.
The second way is to highlight the activities and best practices of the good franchise organizations that are earnestly trying to build win-win-win franchisor-franchisee-vendor relationships. Franchising is a dynamic and powerful strategy for expansion. To reach its potential, the industry needs to stop hyping and covering for the worst and start celebrating the truly best.
A good franchisor will go even beyond making an “earnings” claim in the Franchise Disclosure Document and share histrorical financial performance statistics of the system with new buyers.
But, of course, Catch 22. The current status quo of franchise regulation allows franchisors to try to save themselves, even as they are going down the tube, by selling new franchises out the front door as long as they can, and selling highly discounted failed units out the back door. Franchisors want to retain their “ace in the hole” just in case they have to adopt churning as a survival tool.
Why would anyone have any objection to franchising if the RISK and the possible REWARDS were disclosed up front to new buyers, who could then make an informed decision asbout buying a franchise.
Franchising can only be rehabilitated, in my opinion, when the risk and the rewards of the investment, as KNOWN to the franchisor, are mandated by government to be disclosed to new buyers of franchises.
http://www.unhappyfranchisee.com/2009/02/carolcross/
Sean,
You DO know, that BF is most likely one of the same folks that have been at this “Franchise Slamming” game for 4-5 years now. Right?
He {or she} obviously doesn’t know you and I very well.
Different alias. Same words.
The Franchise King
Bloody Franchise has proved that being outrageous, and incendiary without substance, will attract an audience. But people who provide substance are ignored. Sadly, style (good or bad) appears to be more popular than substance. Just like in the mainstream media.
It is not unlikely that franchise watchdog groups will experience growth rather than not. I think the BF is in the fist wave of such a movement and that others will build on what BF and a few others, have started.
It is unfortunate, but the need for such watchdog activity is not going away any time soon.
The garbage franchises mill around and blood suck off the goodwill of the solid franchises, and the garbage ones morph into the industry unscathed. Someone has to shed some sun light on these vampires, and let’s face it, being polite and conducting a show-and-tell just will not get the job done.
This is a bottom up effort, rather than a top down. Because nobody at the top gives a crap about harmed franchisees squeeking.
Grace is right. Hopefully “watchdog” groups like Butterfly Life will spred the word and be joined by other groups.
Bloody Franchise tells the truth on his website and I believe he does this to prevent others from falling into the “river of blood” shed by those who were tricked into buying unviable franchise opportunities under cover of government regulation.
We have to understand, of course, that those who make their living in and around franchising want no changes to the status quo. We have to understand that because it is ONLY the franchisee, the resourse, who generally takes the fall and who generally has no recourse against the franchisor, the “parable of the broken window” is at work here and franchising is rationalized as serving the greatest good for the greatest number of special interests.
http://www.unhappyfranchisee.com/2009/02/carolcross/
Grace:
Anonymous Franchise Ranters like Bloody Franchisee have all the moral credibility and sense of mission of a 4th grader dropping rocks from an overpass. Not a real good idea to hang around with people bent on self-destruction. Their franchise experiences may have started them on the road to bitterness, but they’ve made the decision to complete the journey all by themselves.
No, the people who will really make a difference in franchising are those with the fortitude and courage to speak about their experiences in an honest and credible fashion that will reach people.
Read the interviews on UnhappyFranchisee.com with the Butterfly Life franchisees and the Cuppy’s Coffee victims. These are people who take responsibility for their role, and truly want others to learn from their misfortune. These are people who will rebuild and be stronger, not who will angrily implode with self-pity.
http://www.unhappyfranchisee.com
http://www.unhappyfranchisee.com/butterfly-life-franchise-discussion/
http://www.unhappyfranchisee.com/cuppys-coffee-overview/
I checked out this Bloody’s blog.
He is currently ranting against franchisees who pay their royalties and “spineless” commenters. “You don’t have balls or a backbone!” he yaps. He glorifies the minutemen(not the printing franchise).
Kind of ironic coming from someone who doesn’t have the balls to use his own name or the backbone say which franchise he failed at.
Maybe the wolf on his website should be replaced with a chihuahua. As the saying goes, this dog don’t hunt.