Commercial Break Monday Says: It’s Tuesday? Jesus Christ, My Head Feels Like Someone Defecated Into It

Yes, unfortunately instead of writing this blog on Monday night I spent my time re-enacting a particularly salacious episode of Hollyoaks. Luckily the communal hangover seems to have erased any bad feeling but it’s increased my determination to move into my own space ASAP in order to start living in a more sedate TV show, like Star Cops. All I’d have to do would be to gyrate around in my chair as I write this in order to pretend that I’m in an incredibly low-budget eighties version of zero gravity.

And speaking of the eighties…

Yes, it’s a great game. What else do we know about it? Well, it seems to be about a green demon running away from a metallic claw under the earth. You play the demon. Or possibly the claw, it’s difficult to tell. There’s a very tiny screenshot at the bottom which seems to show some kind of building with long snaking genitals attempting to probe the earth as part of some sickening sexual deviancy – which reminds me, did you know I passed up the chance to go to a fetish party so I could come home and write this? There would have been people in rubber there doing all sorts! Although they would all have been about forty and not very attractive, and I’m too polite to stare anyway so I’d just have been sipping a vodka and coke and affecting an air of nonchalance that would serve only to hide my raging desire to ask someone where they got that piercing and how much it cost.

I’ve drifted off topic somewhat.

This is a particularly bizarre advert as it tells me nothing whatsoever about Oil’s Well (ha ha! Do you see?) apart from that it’s allegedly a ‘great game’. That’s not even an attributed quote. What is the source? Was it somebody overheard in the street? Is it even Oil’s Well they’re talking about? “Yeah, Pacman… it’s a great game.” “That’s the quote I need!”

You’d think the advert would at least tell you what the game had to do with oil. It seems to be a fairly incidental background feature from what I can see.

Must try harder, Sierra Online. Must try harder.