Congress Balks At Bailout, Wants To Link Aid To Exec Pay Caps
Insist CEOs of Bailed Out Banks and Insurance Companies Must Get Paid Minimum Wage
With the economy teetering on the brink of disaster due to the long-time social engineering policies of the Federal government, Congress today called for legislation related to the financial bailout discussion to include more social engineering policies.
Specifically, lawmakers want to limit the amount of money that CEOs of companies who qualify for Federal bailout money are able to earn — a move sure to attract the best and brightest the country has to offer.
Instead, Congress wants to cap executive pay and codify bailout law so that anyone above assistant manager can only make minimum wage.
Conservatives were quick to criticize the plan on the grounds that the plan would encourage illegal immigration.
“These CEO spots are jobs that most Americans would refuse to do,” noted one Congressmen, “by making them minimum wage positions we’re just asking for an tsunami of illegal aliens who will flood our economy with their frugality and their work ethic. That’s a prescription for disaster.”
When asked if Congress and Treasury officials would be capping their own pay at minimum wage as a result of their role in the situation, Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid replied, “I’m pretty sure it doesn’t work that way.”
In other news, the American Association of CEOs indicated they would support a new bill raising the minimum wage to $875,000-a-year.
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Bad time to be one of the fat cats…
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