Conjoined Birds Discovered In Rural Arkansas Barn

Damn. Is Everybody In That State Screwing Their Sister?

A set of conjoined twin birds was discovered this week in a barn in Arkansas. The pair of barn swallows, attached at the hip, was sent to the Smithsonian Institute in Washington for further study as officials questioned everyone on the farm.

The birds were found by a landowner in White County. [Ed. note - Seriously. The only way this could've been better if it had been Redneck County...]

According to the Associated Press: “…the landowner likely kept the birds for a day before calling wildlife officials. By the time officials arrived, the birds were not eating. One died early Friday and a veterinarian later euthanized the other.”

And you can be damn sure the landowner ain’t talkin’.

Landowner Billy Bob Sparrow also refused to take a paternity test. Sparrow’s common-law wife told reporters, “I don’t care whut he does with them barn swallows, ‘long as he stays away from our six kids.”

Under advice of counsel, three sheep and a pig refused to speak to reporters, although they were spotted in a corner of the barnyard muttering under their breath.

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Should have swallowed…

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