Consumer Confidence Hits Five-Year Low

Instead of Tax Rebates Bush Administration To Mail Out Tickets to Tony Robbins Seminars

Responding quickly and with the type of clear-eyed decision making the nation has come to expect from this Administration, the White House today announced it would be replacing tax rebate checks with a pair of tickets to the Tony Robbins seminar, Unleash The Power Within.

White House spokesman, Reid Enright, told reporters, “With all this talk about paying down debt and saving the money, President Bush decided to mail out ‘empowerment rebates’ because he didn’t trust Americans to spend the money wisely.”

Interestingly, a recent poll showed Americans felt the same way about President Bush.

Enright complained the media was being overly negative in their reporting of the confidence numbers noting that consumer cynicism was at an all-time high.

“No one ever talks about that,” he chided.

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Recent studies show a certain amount of skepticism may be good for you

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