Corporate Tech Drama Week!

Sigh. I knew all that competitive coolness over the weekend couldn’t last. Now towards the end of the week, we’re stuck with people either buying, salvaging, or raiding stuff.

Comcast buys Plaxo. Pathetic. This is an ISP with a bad reputation buying a social network with a bad reputation in a lame attempt to look “cool”. Now I’m glad I never paid attention to all those spammy Plaxo invites I got over the years. I don’t want some stupid US ISP owning my social graph.

CBS buys CNet. CBS Interactive actually shows considerable online media savvy, and CNet has tons of underutilized online media assets. Heck, I only found out today that CNet owns TV.com and MP3.com. I usually frown upon big media mergers on the Web — too clunky to live — but this one might actually work.

An opportunistic corporate raider wants to steal Yahoo and resell it to Ballmer. I figured some whiners would cry over their lost Microsoft-Yahoo payday, but I didn’t expect this Carl Icahn asshole to swoop in and provoke them. The guy bought a bunch of Yahoo shares after the failed merger talks. He’s spent the last thirty years ripping out companies’ souls and selling the corpses piece by piece — from killing Motorola phones to selling BEA to Oracle. Fucking prick doesn’t know shit about the Internet, and doesn’t give a shit about its users either. He just wants to take Yahoo apart and sell it to Ballmer.

Vision? Innovation? Customers? Internet? Icahn cares not for such geeky crap. All he smells is a chance to cash in on crisis. Wonder how many Yahoo investors will let themselves be manipulated by this shark.

So we’ve got something something potentially good (CBS/CNet), something potentially bad (Icahn) and something totally irrelevant (Comcast/Plaxo). All we need is for that interloper Icahn to get his filthy paws off our Intarwebs, and this week’s corporate tech drama might actually balance out to something good.