Cutting through the Bafflegab – A translation of corporate statements
May 7, 2007 by Eric Eggertson
Filed under Marketing
Every once in a while, an executive actually decides that, more than anything else, they want to spend more time with their family, so they leave their job earlier than planned. True story, but all the previous uses of that excuse spoil it for the organization that is really telling the truth!
Josh Hallett does a good job of dissecting the corporate cliches, and what they really mean. As soon as someone trots out one of the corporate equivalent of Crash Davis’ classic sports cliches from Bull Durham, the true meaning pops into everyone’s head.
Josh includes these translations of typical statements made during a company scandal:
They Write: It has been brought to our attention.
We Read: It’s been all over the internet for weeks, but we just noticed it.
They Write: Our internal investigation has revealed.
We Read: We had a corporate-wide cover-your-ass session.
They Write: We’re currently exploring all our options.
We Read: We have no idea what we’re going to do.
It’s like the close examination of body language and head table seating order that used to take place by intelligence analysts and journalists during the Soviet era. Every statement is examined, not for its face value, but for what it implies.
This is the reward corporations get for decades of doublespeak. No one believes them any more.
Great list, Josh!
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Tags: jargon, bafflegab, corporations, business, corporate, translation, cliches, bull durham, doublespeak, josh hallett
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