Damn. I make this. Look good.

In all of the Internets I think this is possibly the first time that a game has been considered a piece of retro software before its release. That’s right, it’s Duke Nukem Forever.

Believe it or not this game has been in development for so long that the following footage was shown to the gaming press at E3 in 1998. Nineteen ninety eight.

I doubt there’s any chance this game will ever be released, but if this footage is anything to go by then I’m glad. We may never know how far through development the game was when these screens were shot, but my god does it look frigging boring.

“Tired of shooting crap?” reads the introduction. It might as well follow up with “Then shoot some more.” The only thing this game would make me want to shoot is myself. Right in the mouth. Suffering Duke’s mechanical growl is one thing, being presented with such an uninspired, linear and downright boring landscape upon which to wreak the same old havoc as before is taking things a little too far.

I wouldn’t be so down on this game but it was built using the Quake 2 engine and this footage was released in 1998. I can think of another, much better, FPS that used the Quake 2 engine that was released in 1998.

Here’s hoping we never see another Duke Nukem game ever again, because gamers have grown up and so should the games. Besides, I’m sure Hot Coffee has ruined half of this games proposed content.

Pity, really.

Don’t bother watching the video at Google Video, and never ever bet on Duke.