Dear ESPN and Other General Sports News Outlets

Dear ESPN and Other General Sports News Outlets,

I’d rather lick Tank Johnson’s inner thighs after a long, hard workout than hear about West Virginia and Rich Rodriguez in yet another news story or blog post. People are f’ing nuts.

Look, I know that the whole state of West Virginia has their panties up their collective ass just thinking about their former ex-coach. I know that the college is being about the douchiest it can possibly be without actually sticking a squirt bottle in their pants. I know that the trial is going to the federal courts just so a judge can say “pay it up, asshole.”

And I’m sick of hearing about it. How about we talk about who Rod will get to replace Mallet and Henne? How about we talk about the new coaching staff at West Virginia? Hell, right now, I’d rather here about f’ing Jessica Simpson ruining Tony Romo’s game.

No, I take that back. I’d rather puncture my eardrums with a dull fork.

My point is this: How about we report on some actual news for once? F the WV vs. Rod bullshit.

xoxox,

Alli