Debate Commission Looks To Boost Television Ratings
Hires Former Justin Timberlake Stage Manager to Spice Up Tonight’s Vice Presidential Showdown; Will Add Pyrotechnics and Dancers to Boost Nielsen Numbers
Looking to improve on lackluster ratings garnered by the first Presidential debate, the Presidential Debate Commission has hired a stage manager whose previous credits include working on Justin Timberlake’s critically acclaimed FutureSex/Love Tour to direct tonight’s Vice Presidential face-off.
Plans call for both Sarah Palin and Joe Biden to rise from below the debate stage on a hydraulic lift while fans blow dry-ice mist across a stage surrounded by reflective holograms of the two candidates.
In an effort to boost the “youth appeal and street cred,” the debates will now be referred to as The 2008 Smoke and Mirrors Tour.
According to reports, both Palin and Biden have been working hard on their talking points and choreography for tonight’s showdown.
The younger Palin is expected to rely more on power moves and the occasional flare while Biden will focus on a style that incorporates more locking and popping.
The format for the debate will feature two minutes for each candidate to answer a question from the moderator and then a 90-second rebuttal period in which to address each other. In the current spirit of bipartisanship, the debate will wrap up with the two VP nominees performing together in a closing musical segment.
The debate will be carried on a 10-second delay in an effort to prevent a Biden-Palin wardrobe malfunction at the end of the show.
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Campaigns worry about whether Biden’s trick knee will hold up and whether Palin’s studded black leather outfit is ‘vice-presidential enough’
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