Dirty Laundry

The ad:

Writers Needed for New Game Show

Reply to:ambitiousbutsilly@fatchance.com
Date: 2007-10-04, 11:13PM PDT

I’m a damn good writer who has already been published and is relatively well known in the world of science textbooks. I’m taking a month off to develop this idea I had for a game show and I’m looking for an assistant/writer to help me hash out some ideas. If you’re looking to work with a proven, great writer in a sea of wanna-be’s then this is your big chance. The name of the game is “Dirty Laundry” and it’s going to be bigger than even that one gameshow with the bald guy and the suitcases. The game is pretty simple really: You have 3 contestants in a laundromat. There are 3 machines of laundry that will be spinning. 2 of the machines have clean clothes and the remaining machine contains dirty clothes. Each contestant picks a machine. The contestants who pick the clean laundry are safe and move to the next round. The contestant who picks the dirty laundry isn’t so lucky! The audience will scream, “DIRTY…LAUNDRY…!!!!!” and then the “laundry monster” (a man covered in dirty clothes) will drop from an opening in the ceiling. Upon landing, he will chase the losing contestant until he is able to wrestle him to the ground. The contestant will be pummeled into submission for around 5 minutes and then a medical staff will carry him out on a stretcher and then transfer him to a trash chute that in actuality leads to an office where the contestant will receive a gift bag and parking validation.

I’m still trying to figure out the structure of the bonus round, but the winner of the show will receive something like free laundry and dry cleaning for a year, which includes getting dress shirts starched and those types of things. The loser will be dressed in dirty clothes (smelly, like a homeless person might wear) and will be tied to a dryer and verbally abused by the laundry monster. They will also be given a pile of miscellaneous colored socks. The laundry monster will count down from 10 while the contestant tries to match up the socks. When the count reaches “0″ the host will count up the unmatched socks. The laundry monster, now brandishing a whip, will proceed to lash the losing contestant, one for each unmatched sock. Again, the med crew will show up and transfer the battered loser to the “trash chute.”

That’s basically it. While the idea is simple I think the bread and butter of this show is going to be the witty banter between the host and the laundry monster. As of now, I’m thinking Bill Pullman would be the host because of his polished demeanor and star power. For the laundry monster I think Gary Sinese would love the role. It really encourages his surly style of acting and the violence aspect of the show allows him to revisit the unbridled ferocity of his Lt. Dan character from Forrest Gump. I think he would welcome that from an acting gig.

I’m new to this, but am serious about making this thing a reality. I know a few agents around town who can help me get this thing picked up so my guess is we’ll be watching this show on television by Fall 2008. If you’re interested in this gig, please give me a call and we’ll go from there.

Thanks!

Gary

Really there’s nothing to add here. I could leave out my commentary and still give you enough to go on. Where does one even start?

Gary’s quite ambitious, isn’t he? First, he totally gives away his idea on Craigslist. Now anyone could take it and run with it. That’s if anyone felt there was a need for a game show involving dirty laundry. My guess is more than one of the millions of residents in Los Angeles are messengering over details regarding this very thing to agent friends as well. Way to keep it under your hat, Gary!

And really, what academy award nominated actor wouldn’t be interested in playing a dirty laundry monster in a game show. Will Smith is going to be so pissed his wasn’t asked first. Let’s just hope Mr. Sinise isn’t holding out for a revival of Supermarket Sweep.

Tell us, Gary, what makes you not a wannabe? The science textbook gig? What I want to know is, how does someone who makes a living writing science textbooks come up with this idea? I wonder if he realizes the other science textbook writers in the office are spending the days during his absence snickering behind his back and filling his cubicle with dirty socks?