Erin Go Before You Take Off
Dublin-Based Ryanair Considers Charging Passengers to Use Restrooms During Flights
Ryanair, Europe’s biggest discount airline, has announced a new marketing effort aimed at attracting camels and frequent fliers who have their own colostomy bags.
The company, which says it makes 20% of its profits off “ancillary items” other than ticket sales, said it is considering putting a coin slot on its planes to enable the airline to charge people to use the restroom while in flight.
Beginning next week, Ryanair also announced it will be limiting in-flight snacks to coffee and Ex-Lax.
Initially, most of the revenue from the pay-as-you-go plan is expected to go towards extra compensation for the employees who will have to clean out the magazine/safety card seat pocket under the new policy.
The company expects to break even starting next year as the no-frills flights are filled only with people who have really disgusting personal hygiene habits and normally take a bus.
Insiders tell Bizlevity the company also is exploring the option of charging passengers to land the plane safely after it’s airborne.
“Seriously. How much would you be willing to fork over if the pilot came on and said, ‘What’ll you give me not to crash this bitch into a mountain?’” said a Ryannair spokesman.
“I’m thinking bidding starts at 250 thousand euros, easy.”
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“Anyone got change for a fiver? Sorry, I forgot to wash my hands…”
or
“Always after me extra fees…”
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