Comments on: Failure to launch (or how to lose a great job in 6 months or less) http://www.everyjoe.com/articles/failure-to-launch-or-how-to-lose-a-great-job-in-6-months-or-less/ Sports News - Tech Reviews - Entertainment - Life Tips for EveryJoe Tue, 01 Dec 2009 05:00:12 -0500 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 By: Jonathan http://www.everyjoe.com/articles/failure-to-launch-or-how-to-lose-a-great-job-in-6-months-or-less/comment-page-1/#comment-310449 Jonathan Mon, 03 Jul 2006 18:29:19 +0000 http://slackermanager.com/2006/06/failure-to-launch-or-how-to-lose-a-great-job-in-6-months-or-less.html#comment-310449 <p>Here are a couple more, all from one company, which is mercifully out of business now:</p> <ul> <li>Have sex with boss's niece. During working hours. Be discovered by the boss's son.</li><li>Spend all day looking at porn</li><li>When hired for network programming, ask "How do I open a socket?" as the first opportunity</li><li>Charge $150/hr (consultant) wages for a Macintosh port, and then walk around with <i>Mac Programming for Dummies</i> under your arm all the time.</li><li>Get into work at 10:00 AM and immediately play Mortal Kombat until noon</li><li>Don't get into work. For days at a time. Keep them guessing where you are.</li><li>Commandeer the conference room projector to play Quake</li></ul> <p>Amazingly enough, none of the people in question (well, half of these are one person) were ever fired, though the contractor did not have his contract renewed. And yet the company laid off 40% of its workforce - the part that was getting their work done, apparently.</p> Here are a couple more, all from one company, which is mercifully out of business now:

  • Have sex with boss’s niece. During working hours. Be discovered by the boss’s son.
  • Spend all day looking at porn
  • When hired for network programming, ask “How do I open a socket?” as the first opportunity
  • Charge $150/hr (consultant) wages for a Macintosh port, and then walk around with Mac Programming for Dummies under your arm all the time.
  • Get into work at 10:00 AM and immediately play Mortal Kombat until noon
  • Don’t get into work. For days at a time. Keep them guessing where you are.
  • Commandeer the conference room projector to play Quake

Amazingly enough, none of the people in question (well, half of these are one person) were ever fired, though the contractor did not have his contract renewed. And yet the company laid off 40% of its workforce – the part that was getting their work done, apparently.

]]> By: Ellen Weber http://www.everyjoe.com/articles/failure-to-launch-or-how-to-lose-a-great-job-in-6-months-or-less/comment-page-1/#comment-310450 Ellen Weber Sun, 02 Jul 2006 20:20:38 +0000 http://slackermanager.com/2006/06/failure-to-launch-or-how-to-lose-a-great-job-in-6-months-or-less.html#comment-310450 <p>What a hillarious take on what shappens...should not happen... and likely will get worse at some firms these day.... Thanks for the laugh and recognition of reality.... Perhaps one could add "expect the rules to change one way when your moods swing up... and another way when they hit the dust. Make sure others know what mood you are in so they can begin to learn what rules to follow that day...." My, I hope we can fix some of these:-)</p> <p><a href="”http://www.brainbasedbusiness.com”" rel="nofollow">Brain Based Business</a></p> What a hillarious take on what shappens…should not happen… and likely will get worse at some firms these day…. Thanks for the laugh and recognition of reality…. Perhaps one could add “expect the rules to change one way when your moods swing up… and another way when they hit the dust. Make sure others know what mood you are in so they can begin to learn what rules to follow that day….” My, I hope we can fix some of these:-)

Brain Based Business

]]> By: Interesting Links This Week » Project Syndicate http://www.everyjoe.com/articles/failure-to-launch-or-how-to-lose-a-great-job-in-6-months-or-less/comment-page-1/#comment-310455 Interesting Links This Week » Project Syndicate Sun, 02 Jul 2006 06:12:12 +0000 http://slackermanager.com/2006/06/failure-to-launch-or-how-to-lose-a-great-job-in-6-months-or-less.html#comment-310455 <p>[...] How to Lose a Great Job in Six Months or Less. [...]</p> [...] How to Lose a Great Job in Six Months or Less. [...]

]]> By: John West http://www.everyjoe.com/articles/failure-to-launch-or-how-to-lose-a-great-job-in-6-months-or-less/comment-page-1/#comment-310460 John West Thu, 29 Jun 2006 19:58:19 +0000 http://slackermanager.com/2006/06/failure-to-launch-or-how-to-lose-a-great-job-in-6-months-or-less.html#comment-310460 <p>Two more additions: in your scathing and frequent emails, be sure to misspell - and, if possible - misuse key large words. Then be aggressive about being right in every case. Second, bully anyone who doesn't or can't fight back, then act confused and hurt when confronted. This may actually delay your dismissal past the target 6 months because people might assume you are actually dangerous, but it really spices things up.</p> Two more additions: in your scathing and frequent emails, be sure to misspell – and, if possible – misuse key large words. Then be aggressive about being right in every case. Second, bully anyone who doesn’t or can’t fight back, then act confused and hurt when confronted. This may actually delay your dismissal past the target 6 months because people might assume you are actually dangerous, but it really spices things up.

]]> By: Bren http://www.everyjoe.com/articles/failure-to-launch-or-how-to-lose-a-great-job-in-6-months-or-less/comment-page-1/#comment-310462 Bren Thu, 29 Jun 2006 05:05:00 +0000 http://slackermanager.com/2006/06/failure-to-launch-or-how-to-lose-a-great-job-in-6-months-or-less.html#comment-310462 <p>Very excellent additions, everyone. These should definitely help out those seeking to set speed records.</p> <p>@Brent: heh, if I ever do, I hope I'm a little more subtle than this, since I think my colleagues read this thing. :-)</p> Very excellent additions, everyone. These should definitely help out those seeking to set speed records.

@Brent: heh, if I ever do, I hope I’m a little more subtle than this, since I think my colleagues read this thing. :-)

]]> By: Brent http://www.everyjoe.com/articles/failure-to-launch-or-how-to-lose-a-great-job-in-6-months-or-less/comment-page-1/#comment-310464 Brent Thu, 29 Jun 2006 04:04:25 +0000 http://slackermanager.com/2006/06/failure-to-launch-or-how-to-lose-a-great-job-in-6-months-or-less.html#comment-310464 <p>Did you recently get an annoying new colleague? :)</p> Did you recently get an annoying new colleague? :)

]]> By: codebrew http://www.everyjoe.com/articles/failure-to-launch-or-how-to-lose-a-great-job-in-6-months-or-less/comment-page-1/#comment-310466 codebrew Wed, 28 Jun 2006 21:33:05 +0000 http://slackermanager.com/2006/06/failure-to-launch-or-how-to-lose-a-great-job-in-6-months-or-less.html#comment-310466 <p>Here's another good practice to follow. Hire someone then brag to co-workers about how cheaply you hired him/her. My boss did this to me once about a new hire. When I left that company (about two months later) I made it my personal mission to take her away. She now works for me and my old boss has since (finally) been fired after a successful long tenure of denial, put downs, self ingratiation, bad spelling and lousy jokes.</p> Here’s another good practice to follow.
Hire someone then brag to co-workers about how cheaply you hired him/her. My boss did this to me once about a new hire. When I left that company (about two months later) I made it my personal mission to take her away. She now works for me and my old boss has since (finally) been fired after a successful long tenure of denial, put downs, self ingratiation, bad spelling and lousy jokes.

]]> By: Rhea http://www.everyjoe.com/articles/failure-to-launch-or-how-to-lose-a-great-job-in-6-months-or-less/comment-page-1/#comment-310467 Rhea Wed, 28 Jun 2006 21:07:46 +0000 http://slackermanager.com/2006/06/failure-to-launch-or-how-to-lose-a-great-job-in-6-months-or-less.html#comment-310467 <p>In addition to your astute recommendations, one could also indulge in some 'microinequities'. This is the new buzzword as seen in Oprah and Time magazines. This is taking part in nasty little behavior like crossing your arms and taking phone calls when someone is standing in your officed trying to talk to you, or stealing someone's ideas. Great stuff if you want to lose a job in 90 days or less.</p> In addition to your astute recommendations, one could also indulge in some ‘microinequities’. This is the new buzzword as seen in Oprah and Time magazines. This is taking part in nasty little behavior like crossing your arms and taking phone calls when someone is standing in your officed trying to talk to you, or stealing someone’s ideas. Great stuff if you want to lose a job in 90 days or less.

]]> By: GCM http://www.everyjoe.com/articles/failure-to-launch-or-how-to-lose-a-great-job-in-6-months-or-less/comment-page-1/#comment-310469 GCM Wed, 28 Jun 2006 18:53:52 +0000 http://slackermanager.com/2006/06/failure-to-launch-or-how-to-lose-a-great-job-in-6-months-or-less.html#comment-310469 <p>You forgot setting your cellphone to the loudest volume and the most irritating ring tone possible -- and accidentally leaving the phone on your desk, while going for lunch/tea break. For best effect, you need to get your significant other call you repeatedly during exactly that time.</p> You forgot setting your cellphone to the loudest volume and the most irritating ring tone possible — and accidentally leaving the phone on your desk, while going for lunch/tea break. For best effect, you need to get your significant other call you repeatedly during exactly that time.

]]> By: Geof Harries http://www.everyjoe.com/articles/failure-to-launch-or-how-to-lose-a-great-job-in-6-months-or-less/comment-page-1/#comment-310472 Geof Harries Wed, 28 Jun 2006 17:00:05 +0000 http://slackermanager.com/2006/06/failure-to-launch-or-how-to-lose-a-great-job-in-6-months-or-less.html#comment-310472 <p>I know colleagues and past fellow employees who closely followed most, if not all, of these techniques. But not to a quick demise. Several of them are now into a multi-year achievement.</p> I know colleagues and past fellow employees who closely followed most, if not all, of these techniques. But not to a quick demise. Several of them are now into a multi-year achievement.

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