Fallout 3 Review

So, I finally managed to get my hands Bethesda’s new nuclear fallout game, Fallout 3 and all I can say is… what the hell? Okay… I actually have more than just “what the hell” to say. So, what’s my problem? The game… well, it’s strange. Especially for one being held as a RPG. The game is dark, sad, depressing, yet funny at the same time. How is this even possible?

First off, as many of you may recall, Bethesda is also the company who created one of the best RPGs EVER KNOWN TO MAN. And that game was Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion. And does anyone else notice Bethesda naming conventions for their games is kind of depressing? Oblivion? Really? And Fallout? Both words sound like the world is going to end. Why can’t they have a game like Mr. Happy Goes to Happy Land?

Probably because no one would buy it.

In the game, you start out being born in a Vault that many people within civilization are now living in, because of nuclear war that was predicted to destroy the entire Earth. The problem with predictions is that sometimes they’re wrong. And the Earth doesn’t get destroyed. Instead, people in Fallout 3 are forced to live in underground shelters – at least until radiation on the top soil is down to a suitable level.

After being born in the Vault, your father asks you what sex you are. You get to say whether you’re male or female. I was kind of disappointed there wasn’t some type of hermaphrodite option, as your character and your family are living in a post apocalyptic world and I’m sure at SOME POINT during your mother’s pregnancy, she was exposed to radiation. But, alas. No hermaphrodite option. Just male or female. Boring.

So, I picked female. Then dad asked me, a new born baby, what my name was. How am I supposed to know? I just popped out of mom like 2 seconds ago and unless babies are born with the ability to talk in the future, all I know how to do is cry.

Then dad asked me what I was going to look like in the future! Now, that’s just absurd. But, I didn’t want to upset my dad, because has this photon looking thing on his arm and didn’t want to get shot, show I used his crazy hat I was going to look like in the future using a “Gene Projector”, which basically projects what you’ll look like when you’re older. Actually, this part of the game was pretty cool and original. The only problem I had with the “Gene Projector” was that it was so dang dark. Even with my TV brightness turned up on the brightest setting.

Because how could I go through a game with a hairstyle known as “mangy”? That hairstyle makes you look like someone was really mad at you and took an electric shaver to various parts of your head. And had no pattern in mind.

After your character creation is done, you get to grow up. Well, not all the way grown up. When you hit your first birthday, you get to escape from your playpen and raid your abode. Whilst running about in your home, you can interact with an assortment of toys and fun things that one year olds like to do. The most important thing you look at is your S.P.E.C.I.A.L. book. It looks like a little kid’s book, but is quite important for your future. Why? Because it shows you all the stats and what they mean. After “reading” the book, you get to assign various stats to your character, including Strength, Intelligence, Agility and Charisma. You know, all the stats you’d see in a normal RPG.

After you stat up your character, we fast forward another 9 years to your 10th birthday, where you get this thing called a Pip Boy, which basically tells you anything you want to know about your character. This is where you check out your items, see what the status of your leveling is at, repair weapons, administer first aid and check out where your next quest is at. The Pip Boy does everything and you constantly wear it all the time.

I bet it gets stinky after awhile.

Fast forward to 6 years later: you’re 16 and now it’s time to take a placement test. What this placement test does is figures out what skills your character should have based upon the test answers you’ve given. The skills you can have are:

• Barter – you can get special deals from vendors in the game if you can barter like a mofo.
• Big Guns – The higher big guns is, the more damage you can do with weapons like flame throwers, missile launchers, mini guns, and the Fat Man. BOOM
• Energy Weapons – The higher this skill is, the more damage you do with photons and precision lasers!
• Explosives – Gives you skills in arming and disarming explosives.
• Lockpick – I bet you can’t guess what this one does, can you? Yes! It gives you the ability to pick locks!
• Medicine – When you apply medicine to your character, you get more healing points out of medicine.
• Melee Weapons – You can knock the crap out of people with bats and stuff! YES!
• Repair – You can repair your weapons and armor more easily. The better the condition your stuff is in, the better you fight or absorb damage.
• Science – You can hack into computers with a high science rating.
• Small Guns – The higher this skill is, the more damage you do with hand guns. Very useful, because shooting people is always fun!
• Sneak – What’s so fun about sneak? Well, you can sneak around potentially lethal situations with the sneak skill. QUIET!
• Speech – You can sometimes talk your way out of death with this skill.
• Unarmed – You can beat people senseless with your fists of fury.

The problem with skills is that you only can pick 3 main skills. But what’s good about skills is that when your character levels, you can put more points into whatever skills may be lagging behind. Personally, on my first character I picked Melee Weapons, Repair and Medicine. Which is pretty much the reason why I’m going to start my character over. I hear the best way to go is Small Guns, Repair and Pick lock OR Science.

The entire skills and stat system is very similar to the one in Oblivion, so you may have an advantage to this game if you’re an Oblivion fan.

After your character is all configured and the like, now it’s time to get into the real game. During your 19th year of life, you find out that your father has escaped from the Vault, which is highly unusual and not cool. Not cool at all. In fact it is so uncool, th at the Overseer of the Vault kills one of your dads friends. The Overseer’s daughter, Amata, is an early friend in the game and wakes you from your slumber. When you awaken, your told your father has escaped and that you should go find him. Which is scary, because your character has never been out of the safety of the Vault. Getting out of the vault is difficult, however, because the Overseer and his guard goons are looking for you. Killing the guards is fun, but what ISN’T fun is killing Amata’s dad, the Overseer. Amata gets pissed at you and when your friends are mad at you, your just a big time jerk.

So, try not to kill the man if you can help it. I learned this lesson the hard way.

After breaking out of the Vault, the game gets even more enormous feeling. When I stumbled out of the safe confines of the Vault, you come upon a land that has been destroyed by nuclear war. The area you come out in is apparently the remnants of Washington, DC and it doesn’t look pretty. Shells of houses remain, with various oddities that you can find, such as empty bottles of whiskey and frag grenades! Both of which were found in mailboxes! That’s the type of postal system I could come to love!

I wasn’t sure what the hell I was supposed to do after I left the Vault. I wandered about for awhile and found a woman who was a big angry at me for coming into her house uninvited. Then I decided to follow my quest and came upon a Sheriff who decided immediately I was a threat and started shooting at me.

I was pretty overwhelmed when I first left the Vault. There seemed like there was too much to do and I didn’t really have a quest except to go find my father. And when I did try to find my father in the area my quest tracker told me to go, I get shot at by a bunch of people who killed me several times.

So, my plan is to start this game over and make sure that I save and SAVE OFTEN. Which is what I forgot to do in the first go-round. Hopefully the further I get into the game, the less overwhelming I’ll feel. I felt like there wasn’t anything to do but wander around until I got into trouble.

Has anyone else played this game? What do YOU think about it?

[Image courtesy of Bethesda.]

[Edit to say, I spelled Amata's name wrong. Damn this spelling!]